[spion_kop]

I hear what you're saying big bird and chuff. I know that it isn't my life and that she can do wahtever she wants. But this just shows the person that she has become if it did happen. I'm not jumping onto any conclusions because hey people are sexually active these days.

All that was bothering me was the person that she has become now after all that we've done together. For me, it shows the character that I possess where I know my morals and values. For her, I guess it's about living in the moment and not caring about the consequences that may occur tomorrow

[hjpan]

i hear what you're saying big bird and chuff. I know that it isnt my life and that she can do wahtever she wants. But this just shows the person that she has become if it did happen. I'm not jumping onto any conclusions because hey ppl are sexually active these days.

All that was bothering me was the person that she has become now after all that we've done together. For me, it shows the character that i possess where I know my morals and values. For her, i guess it's about living in the moment and not caring about the consequences that may occur tomorrow

There you go :)

You know what you want to do the next day or in the future.
Your ex only knows what happens TODAY for her.

[ihatewestseneca]

Its 4AM... I'm drunk and I sent my ex a text... even out of it, I regret it... I wish so bad that there wasn't a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

I can't believe I did that! Should have left my phone home. Should not have gotten wasted. And now I can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but I know she won't say anything...

I'm such a mess...

[f104]

its 4AM... im drunk and i sent my ex a text... even out of it, i regret it... i wish so bad that there wasnt a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

i can't believe i did that! should have left my phone home. should not have gotten wasted. and now i can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but i know she wont say anything...

im such a mess...

I am too. I have been up for over 24 hours. I too am missing my ex. It all sucks.

[losingit77]

I hear you westy and f104. I too indulged a bit too much last night and had the feelings of wanting to reach out to my ex.. but then I reminded myself that its not HIM I miss. It's a relationship I miss. Its having someone to love that I miss. Not him. Next time you feel like that, just remind yourself that.

Don't kick yourself too much about it now. What's done is done. It was just a hiccup. Keep going with NC.

[bigbird213]

its 4AM... im drunk and i sent my ex a text... even out of it, i regret it... i wish so bad that there wasnt a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

i can't believe i did that! should have left my phone home. should not have gotten wasted. and now i can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but i know she wont say anything...

im such a mess...

Take a breath and calm down westy - its nothing that you can't move on from, like any other hiccup in the NC road. The most important step now is that you learn from what happened and make sure that you don't repeat your old mistakes.

It might help to try and convince yourself that you won't be getting a response either. How long has it been since you last talked to her?

[hjpan]

Let's all hit the beaches and meet new girls?

I'm going to focus my mind on what I NEED TO DO AND THAT IS UNIVERSITY & ADVANCED TRAINING

[ihatewestseneca]

Last time I talked to her was in march, during spring break...

Funny thing is... I feel fine now... hungover, but fine.

I don't expect a response, in fact I'm just going to pretend I never said anything.

And the thing is losingit... is that I really do miss her, not the relationship. I could get into another relationship tomorrow if I really wanted to (not to sound arrogant, but I know a few girls) its just that none of the other girls I have been seeing float my boat. I try my hardest not to compare them to my ex, but its hard not to.

Anyway, I just don't feel like putting forth the effort into a new girl just yet, and I don't know when I will.

But yeah, I know she won't respond, so why wait for it... ill get over this.

[bigbird213]

Glad to hear your feeling better West, was probably just the alcohol talking yesterday...

Had an "almost" hiccup today. Nothing really, but a friend of my ex (she went to school with him) sent me an IM today and was just seeing how I was, I met him once. Then he was telling me that he didn't understand why my ex didn't want to hang out with him when he was in the state last week or something (she doesn't really like the kid, he's annoying).

Anyway, all he did was mention her name and it got my heart to drop a little bit. Not sure why, I'm fine now (5 minutes later) but it got me going for some reason.

Its funny how I can talk about her on my terms and be fine, but when the conversation turns to her and its out of my control, I get a little panicky... I guess that's just more proof that I have some ways to go. Glad nothing heavy was said.

[ihatewestseneca]

The thing that I've noticed is that my ex only gets my thoughts when I'm feeling lonely, upset, or a little depressed... she only gets me when I'm feeling my worst. And that is what keeps me going... because when I'm feeling great, what she did to me disgusts me to no end... I don't hate her for it, but she's not someone I would want to hang out with.

[bigbird213]

Amazing how time changes these things. You start to get to a stage of indifference about the entire thing. I still find it amazing how the littlest mention can have you pretty afraid though, at least me. Not that anything bad has to happen, but just the though of being in that perilous situation can get my heart going...

[jiltedgirl]

Amazing how time changes these things. You start to get to a stage of indifference about the entire thing. I still find it amazing how the littlest mention can have you pretty afraid though, at least me. Not that anything bad has to happen, but just the though of being in that perilous situation can get my heart going....

I remember that stage quite well. It sucks... I've noticed that I've started to get that horrible feeling when it comes to this ex as well. One mention or one message from them to you and your heart starts beating uncontrollably and this horrible sense of dread and anticipation fills you up. :(

[f104]

Hi guys today is exactly one month since I saw my ex last. I was doing quite well for the first 11 days. I was going through the NC thing and working through me emotions. Don't get me wrong it sucked. I was in tears every day. Since then she and I have been back in contact. We have yet to see one another but it is emotionally draining. Supposedly we will meet this week but I am not going to hold my breath.

I still get those feelings that "there is nobody else in the world as great as she is." Man I wish we could get over relationships in less than 24 hours.

[hjpan]

Well, I feel queasy when I talk about my ex. It's unavoidable cause my family members and friends knew I was dating... LoL

[losingit77]

Yeah, its been over 2 months since we saw each other and a little over a month since we last spoke. Doing really well actually. The thing that absolutely makes it easier is not talking/seeing them. Every once in a while, I think "hey, wonder what he's up to?" But I know in reality, I really don't want to know. It's a lot easier to just disappear from their lives and let them disappear from yours then still still have even the slightest involvement with theirs. I can talk about him now without my eyes watering up so I guess that's a good thing.

[classicrocker]

Yeah, its been over 2 months since we saw each other and a little over a month since we last spoke. Doing really well actually. The thing that absolutely makes it easier is not talking/seeing them. Every once in a while, I think "hey, wonder what he's up to?" But I know in reality, i really don't want to know. Its a lot easier to just disappear from their lives and let them disappear from yours then still still have even the slightest involvement with theirs. I can talk about him now without my eyes watering up so i guess that's a good thing.

I'm glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of ourselves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what I'm saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

[jiltedgirl]

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

I concur wholeheartedly with the above. We'll make it. That much I know and that is what will keep me going strong.

[blubblub]

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

LOl... This is good stuff classicrocker... I wish I found this site a long time ago... I thought I was the only softy out here who nailed himself to the floor when his soul got stamped on... Best wishes to you losing it.

[f104]

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

I like this. Very well put and full of hope!

[bigbird213]

How's everyone doing today?

Been a while now, not counting, don't care - how I feel is the only thing that matters, not how long or short it has been :)

Feeling good lately, keeping real busy definitely helps a ton. Been going out and trying to meet new people. Its funny because I don't miss her as much as I just don't want to hear about her being happy. Not sure why, but I think over the past week or so I am becoming rapidly detached from her. My emotions feel like they are finally just fading out.

I still wish I could hear about her and not be upset at all, but I'm just not there. I sometimes feel like I'm a little behind since I can't ask about her - or I am embarrassed that people might think that me not being able to hear about her and what she is doing is a sign of weakness.

It would be very easy for me to ask people about her and find things out - and I just hope that by telling them I don't want to know, or choosing not to ask, doesn't make me seem weak.