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    jedisquirells's Avatar
    jedisquirells Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 30, 2009, 05:29 PM
    Minor dating a minor.3 year difference, does it matter?
    OK I turn 16 on April 28th, this girl turns 13 in September, I thought I heard something about a law stating something about it being illegal for someone to date 3 years younger than them.
    She's just a couple months off,and she is really mature, but I'm worried about her parents being able to press charges on me for dating their daughter since I am over three years.

    So here's my question, is there such a law as the three year law?and what are its "terms" I guess you would call it.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Mar 30, 2009, 05:32 PM

    You are 16 dating a 12 year old child, this is wrong in so many ways. There is no such thing as "mature enough" at 12. When you are 18 she is still 14. And so on, when she is 20 and you are 24, this will be OK.

    The dating has to do with sex, and she is not able for that for 4 to 6 years and so on.

    But of course you can't date any girl if their parents won't allow it and no good parent will let a 12 year old date, esp 16 year olds.
    jedisquirells's Avatar
    jedisquirells Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 30, 2009, 06:16 PM

    Well its not sexual in any way, can I get a non biased answer please, just some info on laws, I really don't need a morality lecture

    I don't mean to sound rude, but yeah, please just answer the question with sound info, not an opinion
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Mar 30, 2009, 06:20 PM

    The sound info is at 16 a young boys hormones rules and sex is always somewhere in his mind,

    But there is no age rules on dating, but I will say that at 16 there is no "dating" rules in state prison where you end up for statutory rape for having sex with a 12 year old. In fact you will find a lot of "dates" in prison.

    And someone needs to give you a morality lesson, since it is obvoius you are not thinking
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    jedisquirells Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 30, 2009, 08:12 PM

    Actually I am a christian like yourself and call me selfish but I want my first time to be special, and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to sscrew up the rest of my life by accidentally nocking up some girl.
    I may be young but I have sense.im not going to rape her, I've been raped before, and its not fun.you really don't have any information on me or this young lady except our ages, so unless you are basing it off your own experiences just givee the concrete info unless someone asks an opinion, plus the fact that I am taking time and care to make sure this doesn't ruin either of our lives kind of shows that I care quite a bit, or at least that's my opinion of it. But thank you for letting me know that there aren't any laws against it, but I will try and make sure the parents know I that I am a caring and respectfull young man.cause I'm already really protective of my little sister, and I can't imagine how it is for this girls mom,and I won't till I have my own daughter wich won't be until after I'm married.
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    jedisquirells Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Mar 30, 2009, 08:14 PM
    Oh and also if you enter sexual relations with an inmate you get time added on to your sentence, all that is just media propaganda.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #7

    Mar 31, 2009, 03:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jedisquirells View Post
    oh and also if you enter in sexual relations with an inmate you get time added on to your sentence, all that is just media propaganda.

    What? What does this have to do with you dating a "mature" 12 year old?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #8

    Mar 31, 2009, 03:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jedisquirells View Post
    actually i am a christian like your self and call me selfish but i want my first time to be special, and im pretty sure that i dont wanna sscrew up the rest of my life by accidentally nocking up some girl.
    i may be young but i have sense.im not gonna rape her, ive been raped before, and its not fun.you really dont have any information on me or this young lady except our ages, so unless you are basing it off of your own experiences just givee the concrete info unless someone asks an opinion, plus the fact that i am taking time and care to make sure this doesnt ruin either of our lives kinda shows that i care quite a bit, or at least thats my opinion of it. but thank you for letting me know that there arent any laws against it, but i will try and make sure the parents know i that i am a caring and respectfull young man.cause im allready really protective of my little sister, and i can't imagine how it is for this girls mom,and i wont till i have my own daughter wich wont be until after im married.

    How did the thread go from presumably consentual sex with a 12 year old to rape?
    jedisquirells's Avatar
    jedisquirells Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Mar 31, 2009, 05:49 PM

    Well it was something he implied at the very least, so I addressed it.and I didn't say anything about having sex with her at the beginning in any way, I asked about dating, you don't have to have sex to date.so yeah all iwas asking is if there were any laws against me dating her, since she is three years younger than I am, I would have asked the same thing if I were 17 and she was 14, even though that doesn't seem as bad morally.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
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    #10

    Mar 31, 2009, 07:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jedisquirells View Post
    well it was something he implied at the very least, so i adressed it.and i didnt say anything about having sex with her at the begining in any way, i asked about dating, you dont have to have sex to date.so yeah all iwas asking is if there were any laws against me dating her, since she is three years younger than i am, i would have asked the same thing if i were 17 and she was 14, even though that doesnt seem as bad morally.

    You do know the difference between rape and statutory rape (which was the reference), don't you?
    emacon's Avatar
    emacon Posts: 48, Reputation: -4
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    #11

    Mar 31, 2009, 07:23 PM

    A 16 year old dating a 12 year old. Are you going to talk to her about when she gets her first period or are you going to go to the mall with her to buy her first bra? I would strongly suggest you find a girl who is MUCH closer to your age.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #12

    Mar 31, 2009, 07:26 PM

    The issue is at 12, she can not agree to sex, if she does, it is still rape.
    For example in many US states, it is rape until she is 18, in others until she is 16.

    So she can agree, her parents may agree but if she is under the age limit for where you live, it is still rape.
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    jedisquirells Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 1, 2009, 02:28 PM

    Yes I do, statutory is when one of the partners is not of age of consent and/or the other is an adult.

    We are not having sex now, nor will we till we are married.well at least that's how I am.
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    Horizons Posts: 9, Reputation: 11
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    #14

    Sep 2, 2011, 09:54 AM
    I'm sorry, but I think this is a bit of a tangent back to the original question, but there is no law saying that you have to be less than three years apart to date. All the laws have solid age restraints.

    I'm not going to condemn you for dating a 12 year old, though I understand where many people in society would look down on that at your age (even though that same age difference is fine at 20 & 24). But I will say that you are coming upon the age where if her parents or she find some reason not to like you, they can throw the rape card on the table and even if you aren't convicted, your name is mud as the saying goes. So if anything else, even if you don't have sex until you are both at the age of consent, or even after you're married, please be careful in what you say, and what you do at all times.

    Rape is one thing that our court system is eager to charge first and investigate later as of late. And I know you may find comfort in laws that are meant to protect against sexual misconduct in prison, but let's be honest: if someone broke the law and ended up in prison, what makes you think they're worried about breaking the law once they are in prison?

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