I have a delusional family w/ history of Alzheimer's I'm dealing with here. But suffice it to say that 2 family members--now equal beneficiaries in my dad's estate-- have accused me of stealing a large sum of $ from my 2-years-ago-deceased mother and I am worried that now since one of them is married to the executor of my recently-deceased dad's estate that they will attempt to tally -$XXXXX against my share of the inheritance (a home being sold) when they file the accounting for the estate. (I will ave 2 weeks to disput anyting so I want to be prepared beforehand here) I spoke briefly to lawyer for estate and asked if the exec can put in false statements without any proof and his answer was: well, that's why we end up going to court in matters such as this. And he refused to elaborate on that answer. Is this how estate attorneys get the money? Allowing falsehoods in estate accounting and then waiting for the disputes to come after and then spending $ to dispute the falsehoods? Who pays the estate attorney at that point? The estate? If the executor had outright unsubstantied lies in the accounting, does the estate need to pay to defend his accounting? (So I lose out as a beneficiary no matter what?--paying for my own lawyer to dispute and losing $ from the estate I'd inherit?? )

As far as I know my mom and dad were never missing any $ and even if they were, I know at least I didn't steal it. But who will have to come up with the paper trail to prove or disprove it? Me or the estate/executor?

Anybody out there qualified to answer any of this? Or direct me to who can?

The executor is in charge of proving anything. He must show withdrawl slips, signatures, witness... etc. He/She is the one "in charge" of the estate. But you may want to read the verbiage of the actual estate. As a trustee you have legal right to review it.

In some case you can petition the court to relinquish that executor and appoint a second choice one. If there is non on the estate, then a court appointed one will be given. It's better than someone who is tryint o swindle you of anything.

Good luck.

By the way, to remove the executor you have to show incompetence or inability to manage the estate in a proper way.