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jenniepepsi · Aug 23, 2011, 11:28 AM

Is there any LAW that says a parent can NOT go back with their child during routine dental cleanings, and parents must wait in the waiting room until they are finished?

I am currently looking for a new dentist because they keep trying to MAKE me stay out while they clean my daughters teeth. And while I may be over protective about it, I hear too many horror stories of sexual abuse, verbal abuse and physical abuse while the children are in the doctor/dentist office alone - and I WILL not accept that.

I never have any trouble getting back there at our current dentist because, (ashamed of this, sorry), I use her autism as an excuse so that we aren't standing in the waiting room arguing about it. Just a simple 'she is autistic and she is NOT going alone'. Once they hear that, I'm more than welcome.

But I am tired of using that, and my duaghter is getting older, and I don't want her to see and copy me using autism as an excuse for anything.

So again, asking if they can LEGALLY keep me out. I understand their policy may say so. But LEGALLY.

Thank you

kcomissiong · Aug 23, 2011, 11:50 AM

Is there a law that says you can't be there... no. But, your dentist's office is private property, and they make the rules there. If you don't like their office policies your option is to change dentists.

jenniepepsi · Aug 23, 2011, 11:52 AM

Well yes. That's what I'm going to do :)
Thanks for letting me know that there is no law on it.

kcomissiong · Aug 23, 2011, 11:54 AM

On the side of safety, your presence could be a distraction during any procedures. A sudden move to look at a parent during a procedure could result in serious injury. As long as they aren't breaking a law by saying you can't be there (and they aren't), they are well within their rights. Our dentist prefers that we not be in the procedure room, but has a viewing area so we can see our children (and they can't see us).

jenniepepsi · Aug 23, 2011, 12:39 PM

I did just find one that I called and they let you back for everything EXCEPT major proceedures (sedation, surgerys, ect) which I am FINE with. Our current dentist didn't have any windows or anything, I had to stay in the waiting room while they took her in the door, down a hall and into a room all by herself. I would be fine with that if she were older you know? But at 7 (really cognitively and maturity wise she is 4/5) she just isn't ready for that yet.

And I DO see why its aproblem for some dentists. And while I am not a problem while in there as I just sit back and let them do the job, and only offer help with her if they ask for it, I do know many moms who would sit there and hold their child's hand and make their child more anxious by the parents own anxiety and babying their children.

It just doesn't work for us to have her go by her self quite yet.

kcomissiong · Aug 23, 2011, 01:02 PM

I PMed you some info on the office we use. They have a branch in AZ.

J_9 · Aug 23, 2011, 01:42 PM

No, Jennie, there is no law... but studies have proven that children over the age of 3 have a more positive experience when they are allowed to go on their own back to the dentist chair.

This is where I take my son... Dr. Charles Hughes - Pediatric Dental Specialists

Here is an excerpt from their website.

We ask that you allow your child to accompany our staff through the dental experience. We are all highly experienced in helping children overcome anxiety. Separation anxiety is not uncommon in children, so please try not to be concerned if your child exhibits some negative behavior. This is normal and will soon diminish. Studies and experience have shown that most children over the age of 3 react more positively when permitted to experience the dental visit on their own and in an environment designed for children.

I also speak from experience. My mother went back with me to all of my appointments and procedures as a young child. I am now, at the tender age of 47, scared to death of the dentist and must have someone with me at all times. For a simple cleaning I need nitrous oxide. For anything more than a simple cleaning I need conscious sedation.

ballengerb1 · Aug 23, 2011, 01:57 PM

I fully agree with post #2. While on private property you must not enter restricted areas. Your current dentist allows you back there so it appears to be a mute point.

jenniepepsi · Aug 23, 2011, 02:21 PM

Thanks everyone. I absolutely am fine with the dentist having it as their policy. It's their choice, and a parent has every right to choose to go to that dentist or not. And for some kids I know it IS easier for mom to wait outside. But I've tried that before, and ayla ends up screaming and then holding her hands over her mouth forbidding the dentist or techs from seeing her teeth. Then they have to come out and get me anyway, so why not just let me go back with her in the first place lol.

Ballengerb, yes they do, but not without me arguing with them about it first. I mean, if they KNOW this is an issue for her, they could put it on the chart that I need to be with her. Or they end up just coming out to get me anyway lol. So its kind of pointless, more work, takes more time, and gets ayla upset in the process.

J_9 · Aug 23, 2011, 02:26 PM

That's when you tell them about this when you make the appointment over the phone. If they refuse, don't make the appointment.

jenniepepsi · Aug 23, 2011, 02:50 PM

*blush* you know, I honestly didn't think of that :( I completely spaced something like that out, and its actually sort of common sense LOL. DOH.

Wondergirl · Aug 23, 2011, 02:57 PM

Meanwhile, at home do some role playing with Ayla. Let her be the dentist and you be the patient, and then you be the dentist while she is the patient. Both of you have a conversation in character. You don't need any instruments. Just use your fingers and hands and make the appropriate noises --zzzzz or clip-clip.

I have an autistic son, and this is how we "practiced" before he had to go to the barber or dentist or doctor.

jenniepepsi · Aug 23, 2011, 05:34 PM

Thanks Carol. Ill do that. I have had some social stories set up for her, but I do tend to forget to keep up with them :(
I'm thankful my forgetful air brained self isn't messing up the k12 for her (at home online public school)

twinkiedooter · Aug 23, 2011, 05:58 PM

You can be there, absolutely! There should be no reason you can't be there. My kid used to come with me on MY visits so he could see what will happen to him in the chair and he was only 4 at the time. And then when it was HIS turn he was not so antsy or afraid.

tickle · Aug 24, 2011, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

i did just find one that i called and they let you back for everything EXCEPT major proceedures (sedation, surgerys, ect) which i am
it just doesnt work for us to have her go by her self quite yet.

She is five is she not, JP. I think she has to learn how to trust doctors and dentists and although I do understand why you want to be with her, you can't be too overprotective. It could possibly come across as you don't trust what is going on with her.

Kindest regards my dear

Tick

jenniepepsi · Aug 24, 2011, 02:09 PM

Its not that I don't want her to be able to do it on her own tick. She is 7, its just that when I have let her go on her own, they end up having to come get me anyway because she is screaming and covering her mouth or running off and hiding under a table when I'm not there. It just seems a little time consuming for them to say I can't go back, but then come out and get me anyway lol.

Wondergirl · Aug 24, 2011, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

its not that i dont want her to be able to do it on her own tick. she is 7, its just that when i have let her go on her own, they end up having to come get me anyway because she is screaming and covering her mouth or running off and hiding under a table when im not there. it just seems a little time consuming for them to say i can't go back, but then come out and get me anyway lol.

That's why the role playing at home is so important -- so she knows what to expect. And she may be feeding off your fears, Jen. I'm getting the feeling you are more worried about her being without you than she is. Give her what is called a transitional object (your bracelet or necklace or a stuffed animal she loves) when she goes into the exam room with the hygienist or staff person. Make it an exciting adventure that she can tell you about later!

jenniepepsi · Aug 24, 2011, 02:28 PM

Ill try that :) thanks hon.