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Mim · Mar 3, 2006, 07:53 AM

Anyone know of a forum that deals with adoption law? Or can anyone here answer what I think is a simple question on the subject?

fredg · Mar 3, 2006, 07:56 AM

Hi, Mim,
You can get some good answers on Adoption or any other question here.
Why not ask your question?

Mim · Mar 3, 2006, 08:21 AM

The question is, my 7 yr old adopted son wants to meet his birth mom. I know who she is and where she is because the adoption records weren't "sanitized" as well as they should have been. Its expensive to go through my lawyer to get him to contact her for permission to meet. Is it illegal for me to contact her for permission to meet?

Fr_Chuck · Mar 3, 2006, 10:08 AM

There is no law that stops you from contacting the birth mother. If she asks you not to contact her again then you can't

And many records are not sealed if the adoption is done in many ways. Only the records once they get into the court house are "sealed" but the information of who everyone is and the such is always keep in their records and not done away with" And it really is not as uncommom for the adoptive mother to know the information on birth parents.

But at 7, I would advice against him meeting his birth mom. As an older teen he may have a better maturity level to deal with the issues. It is good that he knows you love him and that being adopted is special, that he was "chosen" not just what a person was stuck with at birth.
And that his real parents are those that adopted him. This does not make his bio parents evil or bad but many choose adoption because they want their baby to have a better life than they can give them.

Mim · Mar 3, 2006, 12:12 PM

Thank you for your reply. My son knows that he is special. He knows that he is a "gracious gift of God", for that is what his name means. He knows that he was an answer to my older children's Christmas prayer for a baby brother. He knows I had a dream from God that I was given a baby boy 3 months before he was even born. I was on no waiting list to adopt a child
And within 2 hours of receiving a call from a friend that someone was needed to adopt a 3 day old baby, my husband and I had signed all necessary papers and the baby was mine/ours. He knows all this, but he keeps asking about his other mom and other brothers and sisters and gets so sad. I have been spending more time with him and he hasn't asked lately, but I know the request is coming again soon. Also he has a grateful attitude towards his birth mom for making sure he had/has a good home. There are no ill feelings whatsoever in his heart towards her. Again thank you for replying.