Originally Posted by tammie_neal
Hi Tammie, I am so sorry you feel like this, it's unusual because the youngest is often,the most favoured... the baby... let her have it she's only a baby, sinario springs to mind.
You say your one of three but your Mum only mentions Debbie in her one wish! I'm just wondering where your other sister fits in this!
Could it be that Debbie is the eldest of you three, the first born, a planned child, maybe the two pregnancies that came after were somehow a mistake, which maybe led to all kinds of difficulties within the family?. I don't see any mention of your Dad... how does he feel about all this?
What on earth does she mean by saying that you are the devil and she Jesus!. did you ask her to explain what she meant by that ? This is such a ridiculous thing for a mother to say to her daughter, I can't quite see what she is implying.
Tammie, I can only guess what is going on by the limited information that you have supplied, so please forgive me if I'm peddling up the wrong alley, it's quite clear that she has a deep rooted problem which needs to be brought to the fore before it can heal.
NO MOTHER.. hates their children, it may seem like that sometimes, I'm not sure why she feels the way she does, but clearly, she is a troubled woman who could do with airing her thoughts and feelings to you girls, you are now adults and perhaps could get to the source of her pain and in turn heal each others. IF only you could find away of meeting each other half way... I know this is difficult because of the way she has treated you and your children, but I'm getting the feeling that she really doesn't want to be that way and would like to be part of her grandchildrens lives and yours, but maybe thinks it's just gone to far.
THis whole situation is very sad, most are saying cut yourself off from her, how can you, she is your Mother, you only have one,don't give up just yet, try not to dwell on the past and try a new approach.. OK she may knock you down at the first hurdle, so what that's happened all your life, now it's your turn to take control and not be controlled.
You don't have to go to her house, invite her round for a chat or maybe dinner or if your daring enough ask for her help regarding the kids, better still let them talk to her by phone... it's very difficult to say no to a child... make her feel like she's wanted.
I know you'll be thinking, why should I after all she's done to me, but please have patience... keep asking, keep trying, eventually she might agree, then you'll know progress is being made... remember though your in control.
Ask yourself honestly... do you really want to dismiss your Mum for the rest of your life
Life is not a rehearsel