My previous question was to do with patient confidentiality.this question is similar .so just to refresh on some points --My brother is 56 he has had cancer of the throat.they removed the tumour and he had gone through and finished his treatment a month or so ago.he was seemingly doing well and we as a family were pleased with this.within a space of 2 or 3 weeks ,my brother very quickly went down hill.
Little to my knowledge my brother had fallen out with 2 of his siblings who were his main carers.it was over a small matter really just its caused a divide in my family.I live a good few miles from my brother so I wasn't aware of the quarrel and that my brother was suffering alone.so when after about 2 weeks I went to see my brother .only I didn't recognize him.my usually handsome brother was gone.only a guant very thin unshaven man was in his place .I was shocled he had become unaware of how ill he was.he seemed to have become morbidly depressed he wasn't eating he was not taking care of his personal hygiene .his home was messy and dirty.so a day or 2 later he went with my sister to hospital and he has been kept in.they were shocked to see in a short time how seriously ill he had become.
My brother has always been the type to believe the worst and hope the best may happen.so he had called me and tols me over the phone he was terminally ill and had days left to live.I love my brother so much.he has always been my older brother who I looked up to as a father.so I have been devaststed by this news.
The problem I've got is that the hospital doctors cannot tell me anything about his illness.he has told them that they must not tell me and my sister anything about his illness.ive asked him to legally tell them its OK to tell me.he agreed but only in a mumbled reply.so still I am left in despair surely he already has disclosed the worst news to me .he surely couldn't get anywhere near worse than what he's already told me.I AM HOPING THAT anyone with medical knowledge or experience can give an opinion on why they think he is withholding and holding back on us wanting to know what we are to expect .also can the doctors give subtle hints on his health ? would they tell me he was fine when he was actually dying?











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The doctors cannot give "subtle hints". They cannot tell you anything at all, good or bad.

Your brother her may be holding back because he doesn't want anyone to interfere. It sounds as though he has given up and, most likely, he doesn't want anyone to try to change his mind or give him a hard time about the choices he has made.

Why not simply forget talking to his doctors and focus on the personal one to one relationship between you and your brother? You give the impression that you don't believe your brother, so the only question you should be asking the doctors is how can you help him through this and not the DETAILS of his affliction.

J_9 Thank you my brother has sadly passed on now,your advice is spot on though .very helpful.

I'm so sorry, stormywaters.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

So very sorry for your loss. So hard, especially this time of year.

Know that he's now at peace, and only those left behind feel the pain of his loss. He no longer feels pain at all.

I hope that can bring you some comfort.