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    jphorner13's Avatar
    jphorner13 Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Sep 28, 2009, 01:02 PM
    Why is my best friend angry with me whenever we hang out with a group of people
    We're both 19. Basically I've been dating a guy for a few months who is very personable. Almost anytime we go anywhere, we invite people along. Of course, I always invite her. She can be excited to go, but when we get there she acts completely miserable despite everyone trying to cheer her up. For example, we were all in an arcade, and she just up and left and walked out to the car without telling anyone. EVERY TIME this happens. She's normally a happy person. She did this again the day I found out my great grandpa passed (a few days ago). It hit me hard, I was close to him, so I decided to just get out somewhere with a few people. She pulled this stunt, so I was trying to make her feel better while trying to hold back my personal hurt. She is a great friend and has helped me through so much, so it's not like she's a bad friend and isn't worth keeping around.

    It's not that she's left out, if I love anything about my boyfriend it's that he is so personable and makes sure everyone's included, as do I. She just deliberately excludes herself from anything. Why go along every time just to act that way? She will be perfectly fine, even happy on the trip there, but when we get there she gets like that. After confronting her about it, she claims she was tired. This isn't true, tired is one thing, but to become a completely different person and exclude yourself from everything is another. Why does she act like this?
    sarahrenee97's Avatar
    sarahrenee97 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Sep 28, 2009, 01:29 PM

    Um ever thought she likes him? And when you ask her to go she is excited that she'll get to see him. But then realizes that when she is there that it's not right and she doesn't like the fact that you two are together or whatever. I don't know. I had a friend kind of do that to me.. but I didn't tolerate it. Ha
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
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    #3

    Sep 28, 2009, 01:36 PM

    Well, is she single? It could be that she is happy to get out and do something but then feels left out after seeing you and your boyfriend together and how happy you are and she wants the same thing and she just has to be away from it for awhile to get her happy self back.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #4

    Sep 28, 2009, 10:35 PM
    I don't know what the reason is, but clearly something is making her unhappy. If she's your best friend do you spend time with her - just the two of you?

    Why don't you go somewhere, or invite her to dinner (just the two of you) and talk to her about it? Don't make is sound as if she's doing something wrong - she'll just get defensive - let her know that you're concerned about her and want to know if something is making her unhappy.

    I suspect she may be feeling funny about your new BF and the time that you spend with him. Try spending some time just with her and sharing some of yourself that you don't share with others.
    BlackVY's Avatar
    BlackVY Posts: 823, Reputation: 154
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    #5

    Sep 28, 2009, 10:40 PM

    Maybe she just wants the attention and for people to come to her and cheer her up...

    Some people like the drama...
    jphorner13's Avatar
    jphorner13 Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Sep 29, 2009, 10:58 AM

    Before I started dating him, she and I hung out just about every day. She's more like a sister than anything.. like a daughter to my mom and sister to my brother as well. She's very close to us all. We still have our girl time haha, just not as often as before I was dating him, but at least once or twice a week. And that's just girl time, I still invite her places when he and I go out and everything, and normally it's more than just the three of us, it'll be a few of my friends and his friends.

    She is single, but says she doesn't want a guy in her life cause she's seen all the drama my ex put me through. She's pretty laid back as well, not big on drama at all. I don't know if she likes him.. he's not "her type" physically and she hasn't sent any indications that she does. Idk.. I'm at a loss
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Sep 29, 2009, 11:15 AM

    Well, you kind of just ruled out evertything that has been said. Have you asked her directly if anything has been bothering her?
    jphorner13's Avatar
    jphorner13 Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Sep 29, 2009, 12:46 PM

    I noticed that haha, it is confusing. Yes I did confront her about it, she just claims she was tired. I confronted her after I came into work and she didn't say a word to me the whole time when normally she'd be all smiles and jokes as soon as I walk in.
    The thing is, she never acts like that any other time, even when she's tired. It was so obvious she was upset that I had everyone asking me what was wrong with her.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Sep 29, 2009, 12:53 PM

    Maybe she's jealous of the relationship that you and your boyfriend have. If that's the case and you are still spending time with her just the two of you, then it's something she's going to have to get over. I've had friends in the past that acted that way. How long have you and your boyfriend been together? It could be that she's just used to you spending more of your free time with her and her alone.
    adam_89's Avatar
    adam_89 Posts: 1,866, Reputation: 280
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    #10

    Sep 29, 2009, 12:54 PM

    That is now becoming a hard one for me to solve, It must be somethine more in depth if even, you, her best friend can't figure it out. Is there anything going on in her family or anything?
    jphorner13's Avatar
    jphorner13 Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Oct 2, 2009, 11:52 AM

    I was in a two year relationship which was very controlling and abusive. I was able to get out of that in the end of June. I've been with my boyfriend now since mid-September, but we've been "talking" since August. As far as I know, her family is fine. It's just her and her dad for now.

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