My family is talking bad about me when I'm in the room and when I'm out of the room like in another I can hear them. I tell them they are and they say they don't. They don't know what it does to. It makes me feel like crap. Like I shouldn't be here or even a live sometimes. I tried asking friends but they have had worse situations which I'm not going to tell. Will you guy's help me on figuring out a way to tell my parents to stop as long as it don't involve the wellfare though. Because I won't go back to foster care again never in a million years. I really need help really badly. When my ex broke up with me my dad believes him over me. I don't really care though. I have a new boyfriend.

Maybe telling them back what they say
Like when they go to criticize you beat them to it and say, ''I know, I am a... ''
Maybe if they hear their words out of your mouth they will see it is bothering you.

Like you said you don't want to go back to foster care so they must have something that makes you want to stay. And like you say unfortunately many parents are like this any more.

Hi..

Is there another member of the family that you could confide in, maybe someone to have on your side?

Could you stay with someone else or is there nobody else, if this is the case, I think I would wait until the next time you hear them ,enter the room... usually everyone will stop talking... you then say " carry on don't stop on my account, it's nothing you haven't said before...what have you all got against me?"

When your out of the room and you overhear them talking about you, make a note of everything that is said and by whom. Go into the room look at your notes and ask each one in turn what they meant by what ever comment they had said...

If you'd rather not do any of that, just go about your daily life ignoring what they have said, it may be when they see that this is having no effect on you they may get bored and gradually stop.

Some things I'm sure are just done for effect, to get your back up, maybe to get you to loose your temper... put bad points against you which would enable them to get you back into foster care, don't let it happen.

Remember you won't always be in this situation, one day you will have your own place, where you can come and go as you please and not have to put up with these nasty comments... especially being that these are the people who are suppose to love and care about you

You have a new boytriend go out enjoy your life and try not to worry, I'm sure it will all sort itself out.

Your parents don't like themselves, so they are taking it out on you. It has nothing to do with you - they are just trying to justify being crappy parents by taking it out on you and finding reasons it's OK in their heads to be crappy parents. It is dumb, and you need to let them own it, wallow in it, and be alone in it. Maybe one day they'll awaken out of their stupidness and recognize they wasted an opportunity to support you, but you really don't need them to. You'd like them to, but it's not necessary.

What I hope you will come to understand, whether you are religious, is this concept that every one of us is "that of God". What I mean by that is that each person is a custom creation, made as intended, and perfect in that we are just how God intended us to be. We create new standards of our own for perfection whether hair color or wealth or whatever, but we are each perfect. The difference in success and failure, happiness and sadness in our lives overall is how we choose to take care of ourselves, and how thoughtful and committed we are to making our lives meaningful to ourselves.

I suggest you take care of yourself in very specific ways. Embrace the idea of having balance. Study hard - school is your ticket to wherever you want to be. If you hate school, get over it - be more mature. It's essential, and there's no short cut or replacement. If you don't know how to do well, feel you're too far behind to catch up, whatever, go to a trusted teacher and tell them that you need help making a plan to become a better student, in all your classes. If you are already a good student - stick with it. It will pay off, believe me.

Second, take care of your body. Brush and floss your teeth, keep your hair nice. Exercise every day. Join a sport if you can, or dance. Think about what you're eating - don't be obsessive about it but you can choose to not eat too much of the wrong thing, and can often choose one item over another. Think of your body as a machine that needs to be fed, and runs best on vegetables, fruit, dairy, lean protein - healthy things. If you have no control over what's served, just consider portion sizes and make the best choice in the situation. Soon you'll be independent and able to make better choices of what is available because you'll be providing it to yourself.

Third, take care of your positive relationships. Don't beat yourself up because your relationships with your parents aren't what they should be - just work on making sure that you practice the kind of relationships you want to have with other people such as your teachers, coaches, friends. Be respectful, accepting, caring, nurturing. Have a sense of humor. Practice forgiveness.

Fourth, take care of how you are treated. You have little control over how your parents treat you, but you can be very much in control in how others do. For example, don't date anyone who does not treat you with the utmost respect - and don't fight for that respect with them, either. If it's not there to start with, they don't get it and you don't have time to teach it - move on. Treat your friends with respect and care, and expect the same from them. If they are not treating you right, this is a good place to try to influence them, but if they don't have an interest in improving, keep looking for the right crowd.

Fifth, learn to enjoy being alone, and to make that time worthwhile. Being alone can make some people feel lonely, but if you learn to like your alone time you will find it can be an indulgence when you are also involved in the world outside yourself such as by being in school sports or activities, and so on. Make your room a really wonderful place to be - keep it clean and neat, put things up on the walls that encourage your goals and make you feel good. Beauty is important to have around you, too. If something feels good to look at, put it on your wall or mirror.

Sixth, take care of what you have even if you don't feel like you have anything of value. For example, even if you hate your clothes, treat them like fine couture items - make sure they are clean and pressed, and hung up. Don't get caught up in the idea you need too much stuff - just take really good care of what you do have.

You will find if you cultivate these things in yourself, you will become a very balanced, strong and fulfilled person with healthy relationships, a lot of positive future opportunities, a healthy body and mind, and happiness. Often we try to just ignore something that we don't like and ignoring things is nearly impossible. What is possible is creating a new focus on something more important and valuable, and when we begin to focus elsewhere, we soon don't notice the things we want to ignore. If you're excercising in your room with the tunes blasting, you won't hear whatever is being said about you. You'll also know, "well, whatever they are saying - while they are sitting on their butts on the couch eating junk and complaining about other people, I'm working on my six pack abs!"

Good luck to you... you have great value, just accept it and take care of it!