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    Maddi14's Avatar
    Maddi14 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 17, 2017, 10:43 AM
    Unwanted attention
    Im just looking for some advice. There is this older guy I know, I see him quite often when I go over my friends house. He creeps me out it's like he's always finding a reason to push against me or touch me when he walks past. He always makes comments to me when no one is around he creeps me out. I've asked him to stop but he just laughed I even threatened to tell his wife but he didn't even care. I don't want to upset my friend and she's getting angry with me for always making excuse to to come over. I don't know what to do any advice.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,912, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Sep 17, 2017, 01:46 PM
    How old are you? If you are 14 as your username suggests you simply tell your friend your parents are keeping you busy. Maybe suggest your friend visits YOU! Be nice if you could talk to your mom, or better yet, your friend. For sure you should confide this to a close trusted adult for some good advice, but sooner or later your friend needs to know her father (I assume its her father) is a creepy dirty old man. Saying nothing to anyone is NOT an option though, even if you end up telling your friend, or his wife, or just staying away from her house. Upsetting your friend is not a good excuse, if you are uncomfortable around this older man.

    Never be alone with this fellow, no matter what.
    Maddi14's Avatar
    Maddi14 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Sep 17, 2017, 02:58 PM
    Hi yes I'm 14. How did you know I was talking about my friends dad? I wish I was just imaging it I've know this man along time and it's only been since the beginning of this year that he's started touching me when he goes past. I didn't really think anything about it until he started making comments about my body and then the really obvious touches that were not accidents. I don't understand why he's acting this way but I don't like being any where near him.I avoid going over there all the time my friend is upset with me about always making excuses to not sleep over.

    I don't really feel comfortable telling anyone about the things he's said I find it embarrassing. My mum would never let me near my friend again if I told her I don't think my friend or her mum would believe me I don't even want to know either way. Thanks for the advice I think I'll just try to stay away from him.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #4

    Sep 27, 2017, 03:50 AM
    Tell your parents. This is a pedophile behaviour and is very serious. He may have a record for it or may be molesting your friend. Do not go back to her house and never be around him. Do not accept a ride from him. He is more than just cr3epy. He iw dangerous.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,912, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    Sep 27, 2017, 04:15 AM
    Staying away from him is a wise enough choice for now, given you are not ready to share this with someone wiser. I agree, your friend and her mom may well not believe you. That is what makes him dangerous to YOU,so NEVER let your guard down, since you have come of age. There may also come a time you may have to share your concerns with your friend, whether she believes you or not.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #6

    Sep 27, 2017, 09:47 AM
    I agree with the others... the safest thing for you is to avoid being anywhere near him at all times. If you aren't near him he can't force himself on you are try to talk you into anything. Plus if you stay far away from him.. you don't ever have to deal with him. You should however seriously consider telling at least your parents...
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #7

    Sep 27, 2017, 11:52 AM
    There is one thing you can do if you won't tell your mother or your friend.
    The next time he says or does anything, yell as loud as you can STOP THAT.
    You don't have to say a word after that. Say you are going home, and go.
    No matter what he denies, there is a reasonable chance that he'll stop.

    What concerns me is that your friend doesn't seem to notice, and that makes me wonder if he is doing anything to her (she DOES notice). She may be eager to have you over so that you will get some awareness started in the family. Sometimes the mother will look the other way, because she is afraid of her own husband leaving the family.

    There are so many possible scenarios that it is really best if you can get it out in the open by telling your parents.

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