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    busymomma2013's Avatar
    busymomma2013 Posts: 282, Reputation: 20
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    #1

    Feb 14, 2018, 12:42 PM
    Renting a room out to friends
    If you rent a room out to a friend and the understanding is that they'd be here for at least 2 months@ $600 a month. Then you come home after being away from home for only a few hours and them only living with you for a week, and their gone and their stuff is gone and you had NO clue they were moving out that afternoon. Do you return all or any of the $600 they had given You?

    There is more to the story if interested.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #2

    Feb 14, 2018, 02:41 PM
    Depends - what is more important - the friendship or the money?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Feb 14, 2018, 02:46 PM
    I'd keep the money.. and change the locks... they moved out... its on them. No written lease, right? Beats them having THEIR friends stay and not paying extra..or them breaking your stuff, eating your food and not compensating you for any of it. Or even worse.....

    For a only week...no residency was established and no eviction laws need followed if there is no paperwork.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #4

    Feb 14, 2018, 06:01 PM
    There is more to the story if interested.
    Yes I would be interested in the details, because disappearing without a clue would certainly make me think of keeping all the money. The details may matter. Are they asking for any money back? Why did they move suddenly without at least a courtesy heads up?
    busymomma2013's Avatar
    busymomma2013 Posts: 282, Reputation: 20
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    #5

    Feb 15, 2018, 10:49 AM
    Bare with me, it's a long story.

    In January a couple friends of ours sold their home. They had a place lined up to stay, but that fell through.

    She reached out to me and asked if they could stay with us. I told her I'd have to discuss it with my SO.

    We own a small 1400sqft home. 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

    Our family consists of 2 adults, 2 children, 2 large dogs and a cat.

    Their family consists of 2 adults, 2 children, 3 small dogs and 2 cats.

    My SO and discussed and thought we could make it work. After all, it wasn't going to be forever.

    Towards the second week in January they came over and we all day down to talk about how we had planned on making it work and let them get a good look at the living quarters. During this time her husband and my SO agreed on $600 per month and also they said it would be at least 2 months.

    As the end of the month approached, (they were moving in on the 29th) we started to rearrange our house and such to accommodate their family. We cleared out the baby's room and moved him into our room. I moved our oldest son's room around to fit their oldest stuff in there.

    We decided that the dogs would be a,work in progress. Ours are good with other dogs, but theirs are not. So, we, as an ere on the side of caution decided to keep our dogs outside in their fence yard during the day (they like to be out there) and let their dogs be inside. In their room or in our living space under supervision.

    The first few days of them staying with us were a train wreck. Their dogs peed and pooped on our carpet. They would go to the slider that met up with our dogs back yard and push the curtains open and aggressively attack the glass to get to our dogs. At one point my friend went to pick up her dog as he is attacking the glass and he bit her.

    She then kept her dogs in her room. The dogs would sit I the room taking turns scratching the door. Oh well.

    As a few more days passed, it got easier. The dogs seemed to go with the flow and we kind of had a somewhat of schedule down for the kids.

    Then super bowl Sunday we were all sitting in the living room talking about how we (my family) would be going to a super bowl party around 2 and be back a few hours later. My SO asked her husband if he was watching the game. He said, "I might go to a friend's to watch it."

    We leave. Come back just a few hours later and their gone. Some of their stuff was gone too.

    I sent her a message asking if they had moved. She said yes.

    She came back the following couple of days to retrieve more of their belongings. I wasn't here for on day, she had a key, no big deal. Well, later that evening I noticed that a LOT of our food was missing! Oh well.

    The last time she came for their stuff, we sat outside and chit chatted foot a bit. She left. Not even 20 minutes later I receive a fb message from her asking if we had planned on giving them back any of the $600.
    I messaged her and said we hadn't discussed it.

    The next day I let her know we planned on returning half of the money. That wasn't good enough. She went on to say that she could have put her whole family in a hole for less than that for a week. And she also said that she believed me when I said friends help friends out and look where that got her.

    I'm so confused as to what we did wrong. I asked her. She said nothing.

    I wish whatbwoukd have told us they were moving. We could have discussed, like adults, the return of money face to face.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #6

    Feb 15, 2018, 12:32 PM
    Just hearing your side I don't think you did anything wrong. You certainly went out of your way.

    Did she every say why they snuck out of the house?

    In my opinion for what your family endured, half back is very fair.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #7

    Feb 15, 2018, 12:58 PM
    Agreed! Half back is more than fair, whether they like it or not! Take this as a lesson about "FRIENDS". Now go repair the door the dogs scratched up and buy some food, clean your carpets... and change your locks. No more easy access crap.

    That's fair for the week they spent.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #8

    Feb 15, 2018, 03:11 PM
    For the damage they cause, and the food they stole... change locks first... fix issues... and personally, I would not give any back... but if it makes you feel better, deduct what the missing food was worth.. the value of the locks needed changed.. and your time and expense to fix the damage their dogs caused... if anything was left after a fair amount for them actually staying there... give them that. But for me... half back is too much... you are a fool if you give them back any more than that. If it was me I'd have kept it all, doesn't sound like they were very good friends based on what you have said.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #9

    Feb 15, 2018, 04:22 PM
    LOL, what's the old saying, with friends like that, who needs enemies? You should be grateful they left when they did, because I am sure you can imagine what your home would be like if indeed they had stayed for the whole two months!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #10

    Feb 15, 2018, 04:49 PM
    What's that old saying? No good deed goes unpunished?
    busymomma2013's Avatar
    busymomma2013 Posts: 282, Reputation: 20
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    #11

    Feb 16, 2018, 11:59 AM
    We never even thought to change locks, but we will be doing so today. Thanks.

    She never actually said why they "snuck" out. We talked before they moved and she did voice that she didn't think it would work because of the dogs and the room being small.

    I can only imagine that moving in with another family that is not your own would be stressful and slightly uncomfortable, although we did our best to make it as comfortable as possible for both families.

    She and I were friends for 20+ years. I've been to their home on several occasions. It was always tidy and the dogs were housetrained. Never in a million years did I imagine thst this would have happened.

    She has sent me some very rude text messages and I've done my best to respond maturely and respectfully. Or here recently, not at all.

    We are still "Facebook friends" And she keeps posting passive aggressive qoutes and memes. Which I am pretty sure are all meant for me to see.

    We have mailed them a check for $300. We did so to wipe our hands clean and hopefully to shut her up.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #12

    Feb 16, 2018, 12:55 PM
    At this point you did what you feel comfortable with... which is far more than I would have. She showed her true colors, as being more a friend of convenience that a true friend. Friends come in varying degrees and they are not equal. We learn this the hard way usually.

    If she keeps up with the the passive aggressive stuff, and you are sure its directed at you specifically rather than just a viewpoint she has and always had... just unfriend her or block her.. Its not worth the aggravation.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,051, Reputation: 10852
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    #13

    Feb 16, 2018, 03:11 PM
    I generally give my old, and good friends time and space to let everything soak in, after such experiences and just see what happens next. Maybe down the road you will both have a chance to look at this experience for what it was, a terrible idea. It happens. Keep the receipts for what you fix, repair, replace, and you can decide what's fair, or not.

    She may come to the conclusion that she could have done things differently, been more open and forthright, or taken a different approach. Sneaking off is what set things wrong from what I see, and maybe she will see that... MAYBE NOT, but you still would have deserved a more transparent conveyance of intentions. Lol, sometimes even friendships have a limit, and circumstance can surely test them, and only time can know if they can be fixed, or broken beyond repair.

    I wouldn't fret much as things usually workout for the best in there own time. You tried, it just didn't work out. There is always a lesson to learn.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #14

    Mar 3, 2019, 09:39 PM
    Not friends. Give back half as you offered and be done with them.

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