Dear friends,
My question is about my family. It consists of my parents. My brother and his wife. Myself and my wife.
The problem is my mom and dad never were in harmony and understanding since we were child. I have seen 100 of thousands of time my Mom and Dad shouting and abusing each other, never the less in this type of environment me and my little brother were able to study any how,of course my father ( An army personnel ) was supporting financially for studies but family quarrel were and is still at its creast. After we both being employed for 5 and more years now also, the same situation prevails. I don't want to abandon my parents, My Mom has got bad toung always in hyper tension and quarelleing with almost each and everybody she come across. My father has got the problem of not listening to any body in family and maintains that what ever he says / does is only the best. Other family mebers son/ wife are all dumb. Now this leads to huge difference in thinking approching any problem / day to day problems etc. After retirement he had become damn lazy, in spite of being more than 25 years in army( participated ina War). He wants to rule the family and expects every one to obey him but he's not ready to listen to any body. Basically Mom and dad are sick also, really sick in the sense that they don't control food habits at older age, too much spices, salt, too tasty and fatty food out of shape. Ultimately we the sons have to take care in case of any severe health problems of aur parents. Also he does not support the sons, My Mom don't know any thing accept quarelling with everybody and any body, especially her sons and daughter in laws.Same ways our wivies also don't like our parents. The parents also don't want to live with either of us(with me or with my brother).In-spite of being small family and not living together, no body understands each other point of views. My parents always shout and abuse us. May be because we are not able to provide monitory support to them, as we have got our own family. However, for my father and Mom there are sources of income - like pension from govt. agricultural land and we own an extra house from which they collect rent . But parents are too genorous for other people and wiered. They still demand money indirectly and if not given abuses us, and hell lots of issues.


Please suggest

You need to pick your battles.

Your mom and dad are use to each other as is. They have stuck together through it all and are probably happy in their understanding/ or expectations of happiness.
Same with what they eat. Nothing you say will change their eating habits.
As far as money maybe set aside what you can spare for them and only give them money when it is truly something really important such as mortgage or car payment.