Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Gunorre56's Avatar
    Gunorre56 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 24, 2017, 02:55 PM
    Im Not Comfortable with my Big Brother
    So My brother naturally isn't well in the head like he's aware of so many things normally, but acts like a child and my mom favors him more than anything due to some past issue. So he's a very awkward person, I'm 17 and he's 31. He's very hyper and touchy and says A lot of inappropriate things. He's also been alone and never had a girlfriend which throws me to the fact that this all coming from his desperate-ness of having no sexual intercourse or even a simple relationship with a girl. So 1, When I was 12-13 my sister would invite her male friends over, they were 17-18 so my brother was like 27 or so and my sisters friends were very inappropriate and would say sexual things to me and my friends and even one groped me and touched my hips at one point, but I was not aware of it being "bad" at the time, I obviously know now, but that gave me a bad trauma and now Im uncomfortable around all males older than me. Okay but at the time as well my brother would hit on young minor girls, my friends were my same age, 12-13 and seeing a 27 year old hit on them made me uncomfortable and even now that he's 31 he still hit on my friends and said he wanted to marry them and wait till their 18 and they were sexy and attractive while they were 16-17 and I had to stop inviting them because he kept looking at them, giggling all over the place and just being a creep over all. He never touches, but he's touchy with his family, not sexually, but you know a pat or rub on the shoulder, hugs, arm around shoulder, nothing ever you could say is super sexual. But Im wo uncomfortable with it and he tend to space out and look at me or down at me and I start getting uncomfortable and curse him out causing my mom to panic and want to prettt much murder me for yelling at her precious angle. He even slipped a long time ago and said to me and my sister that we masturbate or he can imagine us using stuff to do so and that we all do it cause its normal and such nasty stuff I cant stand hearing from a grown male family member or even any damn stranger. The last thing he said to me 1 year ago was that I have a big but which made me even more uncomfortable and I cant have a option of telling him to stop cause he'll be like "What? i didnt do anything what's wrong with you?" Or keep joking around about it. And telling my mom? Its like telling A only child bearing mother that their attacking her only child in the street. Her favouritism is huge so she'll think we hate him or that he didn't do anything wrong. She says that we hate him and doesn't want us going out with him because I yell at him when he's looking at me and smiling like such a creep and I can't even wear clothing that shows 1% of skin or anything because he just keeps looking and idc if he doesn't mean it sexually but he doesn't stop and it's just killing me. I do have a therapist but that's not working out well and I'll be switching soon as my problem isn't being solved. If anyone can help me think of something please do. He also has a therapist but my mom and grandma baby him so they won't say any of the stuff I see from my own eyes. Any help would be great, thank you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,994, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 24, 2017, 07:34 PM
    It would really help if you could better define "not right in the head" for us, because that could mean anything. Many of us have certain afflictions that makes us different and hard to understand, or difficult to tolerate, and your mom and grandma are very protective of him because of it. That's why we would need to know what he is in therapy for, and what exactly his issue is. Does he work?

    It would seem your mom and your therapist would know this, and it's confusing why they has never instructed you on how to cope with it better. Exactly what are you in therapy for? Could we have two complex issues butting heads here? That's what it seems like to me so fill us in please.
    Gunorre56's Avatar
    Gunorre56 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Nov 24, 2017, 08:58 PM
    Ah, well when I say "Not Well In The Head" is more of he knows plenty, but he gets things late, gets hyped up over getting a watermelon, Is SUPER religious, and overall his outlook isn't exactly too "Normal" and I'm not one to say things like that as I'm not exactly "Normal" either, but its just not okay, I personally believe he has ADHD or a Bipolar Disorder, but my mom doesn't agree as she doesn't even know what mental disorders are. Okay as for the Favoritism, I know where its from, but its painful to deal with. So we don't share the same father, only me and my sister do. My brothers father died long ago which my mom was married to for a long time. That affected her horribly and now my brother could kill someone or harass and she would defend him no matter what. My sister just finished her second year of college and he dropped out 12 years ago from it and I'm the youngest one and Only me and my sis are forced to get a job while she says she will help him soon. How long has soon been? VERY long. Its annoying and hurts me in so many ways. But he's mostly in therapy for acting "Weird" as my mom said as he throws full bars of soap, wastes tooth paste, and as well as for the loss of his father in which he isn't suffering as he was too young to remember, but I'm not one to say if its affecting him or not. I'm not too aware since he's always way to hyper.As for my reason in therapy, I have Chronic Depression and Severe Anxiety. Ive been suffering with it and my mom was never open to it. I had to put myself in therapy since she joked around when I wanted to die or cut myself. She only believed me when I got sent to a psych ward. Oh and not just that but my brother was one who said I am emo and bullied me as well for a long time. When I was younger he told my sis to make me and my friend kiss and pose sexually. I was like 7 or 8 and that's something that haunted me for so long as well. Hes not fully like that anymore, but its traumatic to me. Its overall overwhelming.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,994, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #4

    Nov 24, 2017, 09:36 PM
    Where is your father in all of this? Is he in your life at all? You said your brother knows a lot, but about what? Does he have some skills that are useful? Does he want to work or being stopped from working? Is he on some type of disability from social security?

    Do you all live with your grandmother? Does your mom work?
    Gunorre56's Avatar
    Gunorre56 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Nov 24, 2017, 09:58 PM
    My father is gone from all this don't know his last where abouts at all, the police is searching. When I say he knows a lot I mean he isn't stupid like he knows what he's capable of and hopefully knows right and wrongs. He studied computer and movies but he's no longer helpful as he says he forgot, all he has is his physical strength and knowledge in Religion. He says he wants to work but doesn't try at ALL unless my mom does it for him. And he's trying to earn some soon.

    No, we all live together with our mom and my grandma is alone, he sleeps over more In our grandmas house. My mom is on disability check for many reasons I'm not willing to say as for why atm, but they are physical.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,994, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #6

    Nov 24, 2017, 10:59 PM
    How do you get along at school? Any after school activities? Social life? Hang out with friends, or dating? How are your grades? Planning on college? Do you live in a big city or small town. How many high schools are there? Do you have a cell phone? Do a lot of social media, texting, Facebooking or the like? PETS? Read a lot? What do you do with your free time?

    I have a lot of questions, don't I? 8)

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Why isn't my boyfriend comfortable around me? [ 9 Answers ]

So me and my boyfriend have never had sex, and this morning we were talking about it and he was like so when we do have sex, what would you like? And I said I would like for you to not be shy.. (he has always been shy and nervous) and he said "well, I will always be, I will never be comfortable in...

Can the property (jointly held by brother & father) transfer from brother to brother [ 1 Answers ]

I own a property jointly with my father. Now I wish to transfer/gift this property to my brother. Could you please advise what would be the best way to execute this. What are the legal complications, tax and/or any other issue. Awaiting your response. Thanks. D Dumbre. I jointly own a...

How to be comfortable around others? [ 5 Answers ]

Being comfortable with your surroundings is one thing but when someone makes you feel uncomfortable around them how do you deal with that? They have this air around them with a tag line "im ALL that"

Comfortable couch [ 2 Answers ]

How do you choose a comfortable couch? I purchased a big soft comfy couch in the store. After 1 month everyone in my house has a backache. This couch is very soft and has deep seats. I am changing it but am not sure if there is a formula for a comfortable couch that will remain comfortable long...

Un comfortable [ 7 Answers ]

Good dya or night to all I have a BEST friend who's getting close to a ex-boyfriend of mine which makes so uncomfortable. I would like to know what other people think of the situation they say they are just friend and hanging out together so often. Told my friend that she must be on her guide...


View more questions Search