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    How to stop my neighbor from harassing me n my children

    Asked Aug 9, 2010, 03:26 PM 13 Answers
    My neighbor is allways yelling horrible things at my family. I have called the police on her more than 9 times. All they told me is to file a complaint. Nothing is being done and yes I know to record every time something happens. She is a teacher and for her to have such a dirty mouth in front of my kids is sad. She has called us stupid Mexicans and for us to go back to our country. She bangs on things to get our attention so that she can make sure we hear her racist remarks and se her finger throwing. My kids who are 6 and 7 years old should not be going threw such verbal abuse. And this all started because we put up a 8foot privacy fence. That she didn't agree we should have done bacause it would block her from seeing the cars in this busy street. Really?? Doesn't she have a TV? As a matter a fact, we build this fence 12inch into our property line becase she didn't want her fense that is falling apart to be torn down.

    Last edited by Fr_Chuck; Aug 9, 2010 at 04:38 PM.
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 80,351, Reputation: 7593
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    #2

    Aug 9, 2010, 04:41 PM



    I would assume you got a building permit for the fence and followed legal set backs.
    So have you went to the local DA to file a complaint for harassment ?

    Have you made a video of her doing this and sent a copy to the school board to show them her character outside work and her obvious racial hatred ?
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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,542, Reputation: 5999
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    #3

    Aug 9, 2010, 04:44 PM



    I would record her when she starts with the racist remarks, Most areas these days have bias crime statutes and this qualifies. While a normal harassment complaint may not get the police's attention a bias crime might.
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    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,820, Reputation: 723
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    #4

    Aug 9, 2010, 05:57 PM

    Frankly, I would move. I've heard too many of these stories and the problem is that she's nuts. She won't change even if you get court orders and police interaction in the situation. If you can move, it would be worth it to live in peace.
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    V.Haley's Avatar
    V.Haley Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 9, 2010, 10:01 PM

    Yes my home is now for sale. And yes I got permits to everything that needed it. But recording her is going to be hard. She stops when she sees me recording and goes back inside her home. But in the mean time till I sell my home. We have to endure this punishment. Thank you for trying to help me.
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    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,820, Reputation: 723
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    #6

    Aug 12, 2010, 07:24 PM

    My aunt and uncle have really crazy people living next door to them who have been reported by nearly everyone in the neighborhood for years for everything from public drunkenness to putting obscene signs in their own windows to building code violations and vandalism, terrorist threats and on and on. They get arrested, go to jail, post bond and come out more pissed than ever and do more crazy nonsense. Some people are just insane and moving is unfortunately all you can do.
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    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,722, Reputation: 3460
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    #7

    Aug 12, 2010, 08:12 PM


    This doesn't sound right to me.

    She is mean and mouthy to you and your children, yet she's not overjoyed with a big privacy fence?

    This all started as you said, over this fence?

    What was life like before the fence. How can the fence cause all of this.

    If you have 9 police reports, and there has been no resolve, I'm not so sure these reports were thought to be worthy of further investigation and/or harassment charges by the police.

    You say the police have done nothing, and I have to wonder why.

    You paint yourself and your children as innocent victims here, and that can't be entirely true in my opinion.

    Has your neighbour also called police and/or filed complaints about you and yours?

    Are you saying she is out to get you because you are Mexican? What have you retaliated with if you are both within earshot of each other.

    Sorry, I'm not buying it.

    Just my opinon.
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    V.Haley's Avatar
    V.Haley Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Aug 16, 2010, 01:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    This doesn't sound right to me.

    She is mean and mouthy to you and your children, yet she's not overjoyed with a big privacy fence?

    This all started as you said, over this fence?

    What was life like before the fence. How can the fence cause all of this.

    If you have 9 police reports, and there has been no resolve, I'm not so sure these reports were thought to be worthy of further investigation and/or harrassment charges by the police.

    You say the police have done nothing, and I have to wonder why.

    You paint yourself and your children as innocent victims here, and that can't be entirely true in my opinion.

    Has your neighbour also called police and/or filed complaints about you and yours?

    Are you saying she is out to get you because you are Mexican? What have you retaliated with if you are both within earshot of eachother.

    Sorry, I'm not buying it.

    Just my opinon.
    I understand how this could be hard for you. But you don't live next to her. And of course your children are not exposed to her verbal insults. And really for you to say that we paint ourselves to be innocent victims. Wow my heart goes out to you.
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    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,722, Reputation: 3460
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    #9

    Aug 16, 2010, 02:19 PM
    So, can you answer ANY questions? How about what happened to the NINE police reports you filed against her? Surely you must have a restraining order of some kind after going to all that involvement with the police?

    Surely you don't expect me to buy this. There are always two sides to every story. With just the NINE police reports you've filed- you have backed up your allegations of being a victim here with filing haven't you?- you cannot possibly be totally helpless here.

    I should think that the extreme measures you had to go through to protect your children against her, I don't understand why the NINE police reports didn't result in at least a restraining order? Or charges?

    So, you're moving, which is a good thing. I guess that will solve your problem. Try not to stir the pot until you move, unless of course, you find yourself being harassed - again - and need to file a 10th police report.
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    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,820, Reputation: 723
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    #10

    Aug 19, 2010, 07:55 PM

    Jake I agree there are often two sides to every story but I think there are also a lot of instances when people just have crazy neighbors. We have some people in our neighborhood who's dogs go after people in the street all the time and if we mention we're afraid of the dogs, they claim we hate dogs (we all HAVE dogs of our own - don't hate them but theirs are scarey). I've known of other situations, too. When I was a kid, our neighbor was a raging alcoholic who would imagine slights against him and his home and make threats to neighbors - a lot of people have these unfortunate situations.

    I can say though that reading the original post and seeing about the 8 foot fence, I thought, really? 8 feet? That's pretty extreme. I would hate if my neighbors put up an 8 foot fence and made my backyard feel like a hole. I wouldn't take it so far as launching a war over it, but I'd hate it.
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    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,722, Reputation: 3460
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    #11

    Aug 19, 2010, 09:07 PM
    I've had my share of nutbar neighbours too; having moved over a dozen times across the country and back, some of them were downright scary. But, I liked the 'crazy' ones in a way. At least they were predictable, and when they were out and about, you just went in your home, and avoided them. The dog situation too, I was attacked last summer, had a nice deep scratch from a very large dog on my upper arm, but, I called the local Animal Control. There was a solution for that sort of problem too.

    But in this case, the other side of the story could very well be antagonistic. Nine police reports, and no resolve? Who is antagonizing who- with the fence to boot. That she says she is perfectly innocent, and so too are her darling children, and this woman (a teacher no less) has nothing better to do than to single her out. And the OP suggested it was racist in nature, which I think is a lot of baloney too.

    I'd love to read the police reports; I'd say that is the pudding that the proof is in!
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    missvictorias's Avatar
    missvictorias Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Aug 25, 2010, 12:13 PM
    I live next to a and I quote her words-a high class B***. We didn't even get moved in before I got written up only to find she was the HOA president and the Realtor knew she was a problem. We just lease and share a cyclone fence and yes I have asked for a solid board fence and told NO. We lived 4 houses down for a year never had a problem one. I have been nothing but respectful until she started to harass my boys for hitting the Woofle ball over fence. We went to the lighter weight balls but hey they are getting better older and it is in the corner. They are not allowed over the fence - They can go to the front door of her house and ask (They have done with maybe 2 times in 18 Mo) but if they hit there it is gone. She continues to harass my son accusing him of this and that until I lost my cool went to the fence and got in her face. I made it PERFECTLY clear she was not to talk to my children period and her children who harass him. She continues to complain and try to cause issues but they are her's to deal. She needs to get a life as does your neighbor. You can also get fake looking camera's to mount on your house and they may make her stop. Or ADT will put up and monitor your house inside and out on a monthly bases. It's worth the money to find peace. I would also appreciate any positive impute all of you have . We are 14 months into a 24 month lease. Thanks
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    V.Haley's Avatar
    V.Haley Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Sep 3, 2010, 05:13 PM

    We have filed a restraining order against her and things are now very peaceful in this area. We even got letters from two of our neighbor. That thanked us for doing that. She has mellowed out and not caused any trouble for us. As for the fence goes, well we pay our own MORTGAGE so enough said. My family is very, very, happy and that's more important to me than what my neighbor thinks about my 8ft. Fence.
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    V.Haley's Avatar
    V.Haley Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Sep 3, 2010, 05:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by missvictorias View Post
    I live next to a and I quote her words-a high class B***. We didn't even get moved in before I got written up only to find she was the HOA president and the Realtor knew she was a problem. We just lease and share a cyclone fence and yes I have asked for a solid board fence and told NO. We lived 4 houses down for a year never had a problem one. I have been nothing but respectful until she started to harass my boys for hitting the Woofle ball over fence. We went to the lighter weight balls but hey they are getting better older and it is in the corner. They are not allowed over the fence - They can go to the front door of her house and ask (They have done with maybe 2 times in 18 Mo) but if they hit there it is gone. She continues to harass my son accusing him of this and that until I lost my cool went to the fence and got in her face. I made it PERFECTLY clear she was not to talk to my children period and her children who harass him. She continues to complain and try to cause issues but they are her's to deal. She needs to get a life as does your neighbor. You can also get fake looking camera's to mount on your house and they may make her stop. Or ADT will put up and monitor your house inside and out on a monthly bases. It's worth the money to find peace. I would also appreciate any positive impute all of you have . We are 14 months into a 24 month lease. Thanks
    MY heart goes out to you n your family.
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