Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Rebel chick's Avatar
    Rebel chick Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 8, 2015, 02:04 AM
    How do i tell my mom why i don like him
    Hello , my name is rebel and I have a stepdad my stepdad is nice when he wants to be, but I'm always getting in trouble by him or by my ma because of him, I don't know why my mom likes him we all have real different stories i didnt know alot about my dad till i was 11, y mom didnt have her dad mystepdad had a mom and a dad plus he had a rich family and since my dad biological dad died over a year ago my mom acts like she doesn't care about me or him how do I tell her why I don't like him not dont like just something idk what the word is
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    May 8, 2015, 02:45 AM
    What things do you get in trouble for? How long has he been your stepfather?

    You'll find many people have different life experiences; that doesn't automatically mean that they can't have a successful relationship. Many times those different experiences turn out to be very beneficial as it gives more than one way to look at things.

    Could it be that maybe you are still working through your father's death and are having difficulty with the idea of this new man seeming to fill that role?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #3

    May 8, 2015, 02:47 AM
    Rebel chick, do you really know what 'different sides of the track' means ? It sounds like you are repeating something someone told you. It sounds like he had a proper family growing up and because your mom didn't have a dad around has nothing to do with anything. You just do not understand the pecking order in your family dynamics now; you will have to start by sitting down with your mom, talking to her and put your feelings aside if your new farther is making your mom happy and try to get along with your new farther. Looks to me that you are having trouble adjusting and if you really try, everything will work out.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #4

    May 8, 2015, 03:34 AM
    I agree; it isn't easy when you are young to think about sacrificing some of your own feelings for your mother's sake. Remember, someone has to support you financially until you are out on your own, and who is that going to be? Your mom found someone not just for love but also to provide for YOU. Spend time with your mom alone to remember your dad, and to talk about her feelings just as much as yours. Yes, moms have feelings too, and life is just as unfair for adults as it is for kids. You say she acts like she doesn't care about you anymore... she might be depressed. She might not know how to handle the friction between you and him. Ask her!
    You don't have to love or even like your stepdad, but you do have to respect him. If that means being polite and avoiding confrontation, that's a first step.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #5

    May 8, 2015, 04:01 AM
    You don't tell her, you talk with her and try to find ways, to work together.

    A new step dad will mean new rules often, and changes in life style. It is something that just happens.

    You are too vague, about what you are getting in trouble over
    spicywings's Avatar
    spicywings Posts: 85, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    May 8, 2015, 06:56 PM
    But can you tell us specifics as to why you don't like him? Simply stating that you get in trouble and "don't like him" doesn't do much to explain or justify your feelings to make a scene with your mom about him.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    May 8, 2015, 07:35 PM
    You never said what kind of trouble you were getting in... it is your job as a child to follow the rules your parents set in the house... including step parents.
    Rebel chick's Avatar
    Rebel chick Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    May 10, 2015, 12:22 AM
    Well for starter's I get in trouble 4 talking about my baby's father around him he get to talking about how I had a baby with him and now that's y he kn jail now and I'm a 15 year old mom so I'm not supposed go be doing this alone my parents are supposed to help me and my moms acting like my brother wanst a 14yrs old parent and how this is new
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #9

    May 10, 2015, 05:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Rebel chick View Post
    Well for starter's I get in trouble 4 talking about my baby's father around him he get to talking about how I had a baby with him and now that's y he kn jail now and I'm a 15 year old mom so I'm not supposed go be doing this alone my parents are supposed to help me and my moms acting like my brother wanst a 14yrs old parent and how this is new
    Where did you get the idea its your parents job or responsibility to raise YOUR child. Sorry... that's reality. YOU made the choices that resulted in the child. Depending on where you live they might be obligated to raise YOU (until the day you turn 18)... but they are under no obligation to raise your child. And I know few people that would.

    The babies father sounds like a real winner....since he's in jail, and not supporting the child (also due to bad choices HE made). I agree with your step father. He's probably the one paying for everything now. Or at least a good part of it.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5645
    Expert
     
    #10

    May 10, 2015, 05:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Rebel chick View Post
    Well for starter's I get in trouble 4 talking about my baby's father around him he get to talking about how I had a baby with him and now that's y he kn jail now and I'm a 15 year old mom so I'm not supposed go be doing this alone my parents are supposed to help me and my moms acting like my brother wanst a 14yrs old parent and how this is new
    Well, that explains everything! You are a 15 year old child raising a child who's biological father is in prison for raping you!

    Who says you aren't supposed to be doing this alone? Your parents are not obligated to help you in any way with raising your child. You decided to play grown up games so now it's time to take on grown up responsibilities. Your parents are only financially and physically responsible for you, not your child.

    And your our brother was 14 when he fathered a child? That speaks volumes as to your mother's ability to raise her children properly. It sounds as though your step-father is actually standing up and trying to teach you better than you were taught before he came into the picture.
    spicywings's Avatar
    spicywings Posts: 85, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    May 10, 2015, 06:43 AM
    I'm a little confused because I can't fully understand your grammar, especially as it relates to your 14-year old brother. Still, I understood enough to read that you have a child at 15 and the father is in jail.

    Firstly, it's not anyone's responsibility to help you RAISE YOUR child, even if you are a minor. If you wanted to go out and do grown-up things like having sex, then you are grown up enough to handle the consequences of getting pregnant and raising the child alone. It's not "THEIR" job. By law, the only job your mom has is to keep a roof over "YOUR" head, feed you and ensure you attend school. However, if you walk out/away from any of those perks, that's on you. It's not her JOB to now take on this extra CHILD that you created.

    See, the way motherhood works is like this... YOU CREATE A CHILD, THEN YOU TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD. Unless you give a child up or adoption/foster care, YOU & THE FATHER ALONE are responsible, not your mom/dad/brother/sister/grandmother/etc. Well, since the father is in jail, guess who has the sole responsibility of raising the child? You, dear. You alone. You can't go crying NOW that you don't have a job, money, the means, to care for a child when you clearly behaved in a manner (having sex, getting pregnant) that said you WERE an adult.

    Under the circumstances, sounds like the step-father is trying his best to keep order in the house as best as he can. Why go and ruin the opportunity for your mother to have someone stable around for her and quite frankly you, by BLABBING about your emotional non-sense? If the step-father has EVER hurt you or disrespected you, then ABSOLUTELY run to your mom and speak on it. However, you haven't said ONE THING that justifies your anger towards this man. It sounds like you are angry with yourself for getting yourself in this predicament and lashing out because you can't have your way. Hopefully, you grow up and mature sooner than later... especially for the sake of you and your child.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5645
    Expert
     
    #12

    May 10, 2015, 07:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by spicywings View Post
    I'm a little confused because I can't fully understand your grammar, especially as it relates to your 14-year old brother. Still, I understood enough to read that you have a child at 15 and the father is in jail.

    Firstly, it's not anyone's responsibility to help you RAISE YOUR child, even if you are a minor. If you wanted to go out and do grown-up things like having sex, then you are grown up enough to handle the consequences of getting pregnant and raising the child alone. It's not "THEIR" job. By law, the only job your mom has is to keep a roof over "YOUR" head, feed you and ensure you attend school. However, if you walk out/away from any of those perks, that's on you. It's not her JOB to now take on this extra CHILD that you created.

    See, the way motherhood works is like this... YOU CREATE A CHILD, THEN YOU TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD. Unless you give a child up or adoption/foster care, YOU & THE FATHER ALONE are responsible, not your mom/dad/brother/sister/grandmother/etc. Well, since the father is in jail, guess who has the sole responsibility of raising the child? You, dear. You alone. You can't go crying NOW that you don't have a job, money, the means, to care for a child when you clearly behaved in a manner (having sex, getting pregnant) that said you WERE an adult.

    Under the circumstances, sounds like the step-father is trying his best to keep order in the house as best as he can. Why go and ruin the opportunity for your mother to have someone stable around for her and quite frankly you, by BLABBING about your emotional non-sense? If the step-father has EVER hurt you or disrespected you, then ABSOLUTELY run to your mom and speak on it. However, you haven't said ONE THING that justifies your anger towards this man. It sounds like you are angry with yourself for getting yourself in this predicament and lashing out because you can't have your way. Hopefully, you grow up and mature sooner than later... especially for the sake of you and your child.
    ​Bravo!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #13

    May 10, 2015, 07:09 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by spicywings View Post
    I'm a little confused because I can't fully understand your grammar, especially as it relates to your 14-year old brother. Still, I understood enough to read that you have a child at 15 and the father is in jail.

    Firstly, it's not anyone's responsibility to help you RAISE YOUR child, even if you are a minor. If you wanted to go out and do grown-up things like having sex, then you are grown up enough to handle the consequences of getting pregnant and raising the child alone. It's not "THEIR" job. By law, the only job your mom has is to keep a roof over "YOUR" head, feed you and ensure you attend school. However, if you walk out/away from any of those perks, that's on you. It's not her JOB to now take on this extra CHILD that you created.

    See, the way motherhood works is like this... YOU CREATE A CHILD, THEN YOU TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD. Unless you give a child up or adoption/foster care, YOU & THE FATHER ALONE are responsible, not your mom/dad/brother/sister/grandmother/etc. Well, since the father is in jail, guess who has the sole responsibility of raising the child? You, dear. You alone. You can't go crying NOW that you don't have a job, money, the means, to care for a child when you clearly behaved in a manner (having sex, getting pregnant) that said you WERE an adult.

    Under the circumstances, sounds like the step-father is trying his best to keep order in the house as best as he can. Why go and ruin the opportunity for your mother to have someone stable around for her and quite frankly you, by BLABBING about your emotional non-sense? If the step-father has EVER hurt you or disrespected you, then ABSOLUTELY run to your mom and speak on it. However, you haven't said ONE THING that justifies your anger towards this man. It sounds like you are angry with yourself for getting yourself in this predicament and lashing out because you can't have your way. Hopefully, you grow up and mature sooner than later... especially for the sake of you and your child.
    I also must say BRAVO as well.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5645
    Expert
     
    #14

    May 10, 2015, 07:36 AM
    Guess what punkin. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You have a child at 15. You are not entitled to have your parents raise your child while you go out and live the high life.

    It it sounds as though your step father is giving you the healthy dose of reality that you deserve.

    Its t's time to stop acting like a spoiled entitled brat and accept the consequences for your actions.
    Rebel chick's Avatar
    Rebel chick Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #15

    May 10, 2015, 09:48 AM
    Actually.while everybody here is making false assumptions about 1st of all My big brother was a14 year old father he is grown now so he is not anymore 2nd of all my baby's dad is not in jail 4 raping ,you make no sense how are all of you going to tell me I was raped and then say I got to except the consequence's 4 my actions, 3rd I'm not a brat I asked a question STATING that I did not like my stepdad you guys asked me 4 more and I gave you more , but I'm not struggling he is not helping me because I don't want him 2 and he cant help anhway because guesse what he isn't got a job , so all of you who just put unnecessary answers please don't talk to me like that you don't know me you don't know my family you dony know our life
    Rebel chick's Avatar
    Rebel chick Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #16

    May 10, 2015, 10:02 AM
    Ps do not question my moms ability to raise her children I would do anything 4 my mom unlike you rich white people unlike you guys (who does not have the mom I do) my mom raised 4 children that had no children growing up its just me and my brother fyi so why u up there talking get a man/women get aa life because I have 1 and I'm living it to the fullest with my daughter the best thing that happened to me his her , I needed a miracle just like how my daughter is
    Rebel chick's Avatar
    Rebel chick Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #17

    May 10, 2015, 10:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Where did you get the idea its your parents job or responsibility to raise YOUR child. Sorry... that's reality. YOU made the choices that resulted in the child. Depending on where you live they might be obligated to raise YOU (until the day you turn 18)... but they are under no obligation to raise your child. And I know few people that would. The babies father sounds like a real winner....since he's in jail, and not supporting the child (also due to bad choices HE made). I agree with your step father. He's probably the one paying for everything now. Or at least a good part of it.
    lol it makea me laugh on how uneducated you people are on me I did not mean that my stepdad and my mom had to take care of my baby , I'm doing that I'm just saying he me about yr ago and he already judging me I didn't ask a question so that you can judge me asked because I need help duh
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #18

    May 10, 2015, 10:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Rebel chick View Post
    lol it makea me laugh on how uneducated you people are on me I did not mean that my stepdad and my mom had to take care of my baby , I'm doing that I'm just saying he me about yr ago and he already judging me I didn't ask a question so that you can judge me asked because I need help duh
    As far as being uneducated, I am not the one that managed to have a accidental baby at 15, or as an adult for that matter. I have known others that have, and they all share a lot in common... #1 they thought they knew everything, and #2 They didn't want to listen to anyone's advice before it was too late.

    Sorry, this is real life... people DO and always will judge you based on what they see and hear particularly their first impression, The real world is not like High school. And you are proving those initial impressions to be correct.

    All of us have been 15, most of us are either old enough to have 15 year old children, or 15 year old Grandchildren and in some cases 15 year old Great grandchildren. Meaning we've seen and heard it all before...
    Rebel chick's Avatar
    Rebel chick Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #19

    May 10, 2015, 10:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by spicywings View Post
    I'm a little confused because I can't fully understand your grammar, especially as it relates to your 14-year old brother. Still, I understood enough to read that you have a child at 15 and the father is in jail. Firstly, it's not anyone's responsibility to help you RAISE YOUR child, even if you are a minor. If you wanted to go out and do grown-up things like having sex, then you are grown up enough to handle the consequences of getting pregnant and raising the child alone. It's not "THEIR" job. By law, the only job your mom has is to keep a roof over "YOUR" head, feed you and ensure you attend school. However, if you walk out/away from any of those perks, that's on you. It's not her JOB to now take on this extra CHILD that you created.See, the way motherhood works is like this... YOU CREATE A CHILD, THEN YOU TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD. Unless you give a child up or adoption/foster care, YOU & THE FATHER ALONE are responsible, not your mom/dad/brother/sister/grandmother/etc. Well, since the father is in jail, guess who has the sole responsibility of raising the child? You, dear. You alone. You can't go crying NOW that you don't have a job, money, the means, to care for a child when you clearly behaved in a manner (having sex, getting pregnant) that said you WERE an adult. Under the circumstances, sounds like the step-father is trying his best to keep order in the house as best as he can. Why go and ruin the opportunity for your mother to have someone stable around for her and quite frankly you, by BLABBING about your emotional non-sense? If the step-father has EVER hurt you or disrespected you, then ABSOLUTELY run to your mom and speak on it. However, you haven't said ONE THING that justifies your anger towards this man. It sounds like you are angry with yourself for getting yourself in this predicament and lashing out because you can't have your way. Hopefully, you grow up and mature sooner than later... especially for the sake of you and your child.
    !! I did not ask you to educate me on how having a child is so terrible that's what your technically saying to me I don't mean to be disrespectful to you but you really need to wake up and smell the coffee because its burning and your irritating
    Rebel chick's Avatar
    Rebel chick Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #20

    May 10, 2015, 10:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    As far as being uneducated, I am not the one that managed to have a accidental baby at 15, or as an adult for that matter. I have known others that have, and they all share a lot in common... #1 they thought they knew everything, and #2 They didn't want to listen to anyone's advice before it was too late.Sorry, this is real life... people DO and always will judge you based on what they see and hear particularly their first impression, The real world is not like High school. And you are proving those initial impressions to be correct.All of us have been 15, most of us are either old enough to have 15 year old children, or 15 year old Grandchildren and in some cases 15 year old Great grandchildren. Meaning we've seen and heard it all before...
    I hope you know I'm not trying to disrespect you in anyway thanks 4 being concerned , I'm just saying you are saying all these bad things about me and my family based off o the 3 things you know

    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    As far as being uneducated, I am not the one that managed to have a accidental baby at 15, or as an adult for that matter. I have known others that have, and they all share a lot in common... #1 they thought they knew everything, and #2 They didn't want to listen to anyone's advice before it was too late.Sorry, this is real life... people DO and always will judge you based on what they see and hear particularly their first impression, The real world is not like High school. And you are proving those initial impressions to be correct.All of us have been 15, most of us are either old enough to have 15 year old children, or 15 year old Grandchildren and in some cases 15 year old Great grandchildren. Meaning we've seen and heard it all before...
    another thing if my baby was a accident she would be in foster care not with me

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

Help me my mom has dementia and my step dad is not taking care of her [ 1 Answers ]

My mom is 62 with dementia. My step dad is 5 years younger than she is. He is not taking care of her like he should. He yells at her because she does not eat. I try to tell him that not eating is part of dementia. He makes her cry. When ever I suguest a solution, he comes up with a reason he...

Step dad cheating on my mom [ 19 Answers ]

Well for several months now I have been believing my step father has been cheating on my mom she works in Goodyear about 1 hr away from home so there must be allot of opportunity for him and my mom has been working all week 12 hour shifts and he leaves every day for 2,3,4 hours at a time and...

In state of Ct Dad died intrestate is everything now go to step mom? [ 3 Answers ]

Home bought with both dad and step mom's working money and with dad's previous OWN home money b-4 their marriage. Now step mom has taken His IRA, stocks, etc and put his son's name as bene. She was beneficiary now owns and her child bene. I am concern everything including my great grandparents...

My dad is never home and step mom talks bad about my mom and step dad, I want to mov [ 4 Answers ]

Im 16 years old, and I live in Ohio. Today topped the list of my life. I have a go cart and I messed up our 700 yard driveway. Before they would let me go to my moms for the weekend I was told to clean up the ruts and stuff I made. So I did. Then my step mom came down and asked me to do all the...

Step-dad has been supporting step son after mom moved out and now want custody [ 3 Answers ]

I was with my step-son since he was 2 bio dad has only seen him a total of 48 hrs in 4 years, bio mom left step son with me and I have supported him by myself with out her for past year. I had to do paperwork so that he could go to school, provided medical and babysitting for him, now bio parents...


View more questions Search