I have been in love with my ex husband for 14 yrs . We have been separated for almost 8 yrs. He makes promised of coming back and being a family with our kids and I he moved to de last month.. when he came back for a few weeks with more promises of wanting us to move to de and be a family, I walked into his house early one morning and found him bed with someone else.. how do I move on and feel useful and stop loving him and just let go of him forever.:(

It is time for both of you to fish or cut bait. He is talking out of both sides of his mouth and since he is getting you to still believe him and feel sorry, he is not going to change. Why should he?

You, on the other hnd, need to get a life past him. Yes, he is the Father of your children, but that does not give him any rights to have access to you and play with your emotions like he is doing. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you can move on.

Being separated for eight years is long enough. You need some closure on this so you can rebuild your life. Right now you are on the shelf, just waiting for him to come around and be the husband again. Please, please, please, do not let this man continue with his games.

If you are not getting any emotional help through counseling, I hope you think seriously about it. You need some help in gaining back your self-esteem - because you do deserve more than this guy is giving you. Your children will survive - children are smart and resilent. Do not use your children as a reason to stay married to this man.

I hope you also get a complete physical done. Life's stressors can do incredible damage to our bodies, our mental health, and our whole perspective on life.

Wishing you the very best.