Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    ravengurl92's Avatar
    ravengurl92 Posts: 295, Reputation: 6
    Full Member
     
    #1

    Sep 3, 2018, 09:05 PM
    How can I stop feeling so anxious about my best friend getting married?
    My best friend got engaged last month and I get to be in the bridal party. Ever since finding out she was engaged, I have felt very anxious about how her being married will change our friendship. Since I've never had a married friend, I have no idea what to expect. I also feel a bit jealous because I have never been in a relationship. I have autism which makes dating incredibly difficult for me. In addition, I am also anxious about crying at my friend's wedding. I got super emotional at my sister's wedding and was so embarrassed. I feel very uncomfortable with getting emotional in front of people and would much rather be in my room with the door shut when I cry. All these thoughts have been building up inside of me and I have been having a lot of trouble concentrating on anything else. I was so upset tonight that my friend asked if I would be more comfortable doing something else for the wedding and stepping down from the bridal party. But if I do that, I would feel terrible if I'm not standing up there with the bridesmaids and will regret it. I would appreciate any insight on this situation.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,880, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 4, 2018, 07:01 AM
    Let me start by giving apology for not knowing the nature of your autism, but I can tell you that weddings are often the greatest stress one can go through, from start to finish and even for guys. Yeah I'm a guy, been to my share in my time and seen the best of people freak out before, during, and after the big day. I get the excitement and anticipation you must be feeling, and can guarantee you won't be the only one crying, or worried about being embarrassed, so let me reassure you that all of that is okay and to be EXPECTED at your friends wedding. LOL, like many we build these things up in our minds and seldom does it match the reality of the real event.

    Let me guess it's your first wedding, and of course you're nervous about this first life-changing event and yes things will change. I can only suggest you put aside your fears, and enjoy this experience, and find the courage to be there to SHARE this event with your friend, and her family and friends. Just be there and have no regrets later, is the simple suggestion, and I think you will find it's okay to be yourself, to cry and be nervous, yes and scared, so just take it one day at a time and get through this like everyone else will have to do as well.

    The point is that you are NOT alone in your fear, anxiety, or stress that a wedding brings. All of you are going through this together.
    ravengurl92's Avatar
    ravengurl92 Posts: 295, Reputation: 6
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Sep 4, 2018, 09:19 AM
    This is not actually my first wedding. I was in my sister's wedding and got very emotional and was embarrassed about crying which is why I'm nervous about my friend's wedding.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,880, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 4, 2018, 09:37 AM
    Why is crying for the happiness of your friend embarrassing? Were you the only one crying or what? I get you though, and can only suggest you have plenty of tissue for your tears, and maybe enough to share with those close to you.

    RELAX!
    ravengurl92's Avatar
    ravengurl92 Posts: 295, Reputation: 6
    Full Member
     
    #5

    Sep 4, 2018, 09:42 AM
    From what I can remember, I was the only one crying. I am very introverted and it I'm going to cry, I would rather do it alone in my room than around lots of people. But I will have lots of tissues this time and will do my best to enjoy this day
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,760, Reputation: 5426
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #6

    Sep 4, 2018, 09:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ravengurl92 View Post
    From what I can remember, I was the only one crying. I am very introverted and it I'm going to cry, I would rather do it alone in my room than around lots of people. But I will have lots of tissues this time and will do my best to enjoy this day
    Have you figured out WHY you cry? Possibilities could be: Joy? Upset that things will never be the same with you and her? Envy that she found love and you haven't? (P.S. My adult son has Asperger's. Have you been officially and medically diagnosed with autism?)
    ravengurl92's Avatar
    ravengurl92 Posts: 295, Reputation: 6
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Sep 4, 2018, 10:35 AM
    I think it's more of being upset that things will never be the same. With my sister's wedding, we had the rehearsal dinner the night before and everyone in the wedding got one card from the bride and one from the groom. My sister's card for me made me emotional because it said things about how much she enjoyed growing up with and some memories we had together. This suddenly made me realize things would never be the same again and I cried at the wedding. I don't remember if I thought about this prior to the rehearsal dinner. I was in school at the time and was probably more focused on that. And yes I have been officially diagnosed
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,760, Reputation: 5426
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #8

    Sep 4, 2018, 10:48 AM
    As we grow up, our lives do change and we wander away from old friends and toward new ones. AND, we do stay in touch with friends from younger years. I still exchange Christmas cards and letters with my childhood friend who lives over 1,000 miles from me. Thanks to Facebook, I've reconnected with several childhood/teen friends, two former boyfriends, and have, of course, made new friends.

    Sooooo, I'm betting you and she have new adventures ahead of you, adventures you will share with each other no matter where you two live (thanks to the telephone and the internet).

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Wife's married male friend likes her and messages her even after asked to stop. [ 6 Answers ]

Hello everyone. Finally All the fight issues between me and my wife are calming down and we have set some boundaries and ground rules and working on the respect with each other. This issue today that I am posting is not exactly regarding her as she hasn't done anything in it. OK so here goes....

I'm still virgin and I had a plan to have a sex with my boy friend and I'm anxious. [ 8 Answers ]

I'm still virgin and I had a plan to have a sex with my boy friend and I'm anxious and afraid of getting pregnant, what is the best way to do?

How to Stop Feelings for my married friend? [ 9 Answers ]

I have become very close friends with someone who is a married man. His wife works quite a lot and he spends many hours at the pool - which I also do - and that is where we met. We have a lot of similarities - in particular, our religion and spiritual beliefs and our attitude about life. We're both...

How to speak up to an abusive relative without feeling anxious and stuttering [ 4 Answers ]

One of my relative is a very abusive person. I'm from another country, when I was 8, I was sent to USA to live with my relatives. My family is still in my home country. I lived with 3 of my relatives, but 2 doesn't really take care of me much. But the 3rd relatives (I don't want to use their name...


View more questions Search