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    bluefairy_nebul's Avatar
    bluefairy_nebul Posts: 163, Reputation: 18
    Junior Member

    Feb 11, 2010, 03:10 AM
    How can I be less talkative
    I talk too much... sometimes I speak without thinking what I'm talking about. When I talk with my friends or colleagues I can't decide what to say and what to hide... sometimes I feel so bad... how can I be a less talkative person?
    ROLCAM's Avatar
    ROLCAM Posts: 1,420, Reputation: 23
    Ultra Member

    Feb 11, 2010, 03:17 AM

    When you are with other people,
    Just listen to what tey have to say.
    Give them your full attention and when they ask you for your opinion,
    Try and express yourself in a few words.Give yourself a lot of chance
    To weigh what you say before your
    Utter any response.
    PROVERB :- Look before you leap.
    PROVERB :- Think before you speak.
    bluefairy_nebul's Avatar
    bluefairy_nebul Posts: 163, Reputation: 18
    Junior Member

    Feb 11, 2010, 03:56 AM

    Thanks a lot.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert

    Feb 11, 2010, 06:28 AM

    If you are realizing that you are talking too much, and revealing too much, anybody in a conversation with you is realizing that too.

    When you replay the conversation and clearly see that you have gone too far, realize the compulsion to 'take over' will quickly turn into avoidance by others.

    Try to listen, and not talk, until you are asked a direct question. If you need to comment at all, think of what you are going to say, before the words come out as Rolcam said. If the conversation has moved forward, then the subject is closed. Wait for another opportunity.

    It may be that you are quite different with one to one conversations, as opposed to conversations in groups.

    It will take practise and confidence to know when to speak up, and when to really listen, and determine if you have anything to contribute to the conversation. More than a sentence is probably too much, unless somebody has asked for your opinion on a specific topic.
    bluefairy_nebul's Avatar
    bluefairy_nebul Posts: 163, Reputation: 18
    Junior Member

    Feb 11, 2010, 07:05 AM

    Thanks jake, I'll start it from today. I got to do it...
    accraad's Avatar
    accraad Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 29, 2011, 05:59 PM
    When you are speaking just try to listen
    Think about something before you say it
    Be nice
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
    Ultra Member

    May 2, 2011, 11:14 AM

    Far easier to focus on proactive listening than on trying to be quiet - really work on not spending the time the other person is speaking as your time to think of what to say next - it's not a race - really give them your full attention.

    Also, if you talk about yourself too much it's probably because you think too much about yourself -broaden your thoughts by reading, seeing more movies, paying attention to news, pursuing active interests, going new places - when you broaden your experiences you will have alternative things to talk about that are not so personal.

    I realized this after I divorced and brought my ex husband up way too much. I made a point not to talk about him any more and would instead bring up my volunteer work, a personal goal to hike every trail in the county where I live, or just to learn more about the other person. Most people have something they love to talk about so I will follow up and learn more about that interest from them.

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