Hello friends! Ok I have a sticky situation and need some advice on how to approach it. I have a friend, she is about 6 years younger than me. We've been good friends since late last year. I met her through my brother's friend-whom she was the girlfriend of at the time.

Well her and I became close, and I was in need of a babysitter for my 3 little ones. So I asked her if she would babysit them as she didn't have a steady job anyway. I made it very clear to her on my expectations at the time I asked her, and of course-she accepted.

Well she lives about 25 minutes away from my home, so we decided that she would stay at my place often during the week. She also has a 4 year old son who would be there too. This all took place back in April this year.

I would like to add that it is not only me and my three little ones, but my brother lives down in the basement as well.

As time went by I started noticing things that I felt were unacceptable-my children confided things in me as well that I was not accepting of. She curses around them alot-she is continuously on her phone throughout the day, she doesn't watch them-I have broken furniture due to her lack in supervision-yes-broken furniture! Half of the time she goes downstairs in to my brother's room so she can get away from the kids and talk on her cell phone. She will go down there and take showers when we have one upstairs. This all goes on while my brother is at work. She is obsessed with him and of course they are now sleeping together.

I've confronted her many times and told her she needs to pay more attention to the kids and that she can 't leave them unattended like that!

My middle child, she is about 8-told me one day-on more than one occasion-that the babysitter was talking to one of her family members telling them that my daughter was psycho. This pisses me off! And now that the kids are going back to school, she is being paid a lot less of course (and rightfully so) and my little girl again told me she heard her telling someone in her family that what she will be getting isn't enough and that she deserved more! Why should I pay her for doing nothing all day long? All she has to do is watch the kids 2 hours after school. I pay her 10 dollars a day for each child.

I've walked in on her talking shiz about me and it just hurts. She doesn't discipline her child and gets mad at mine when they are defending themselves because of her child. I've gotten on to her about that too. Her child peed on my son one day-on purpose-and she didn't do anything about it. If my kid did that to her kid-your bet your azz he would be in BIG trouble!

I can go on and on-I know this is all probably some petty stuff, but the list is huge and I'm sick of it.
I've arranged with my boss to let me drop the kids off at the bus stop in the morning and come in later to work. I've arranged for my oldest child to watch the little ones after school for two hours until I get home.I plan on letting my friend go tomorrow after work-after I pay her-I don't know how to do it. I like the girl-although I've lost faith and trust in her, I don't want to hurt her-but she needs to go and get out of my house. My room is filled with her and her son's clothes-I want my house back, I want my life back, I want to be with my family and not have them around her type of supervision. I don't run my house like that. I feel bad in a sense because I know she doesn't want to go. See-she is sleeping with my brother-which to him, is just because he can, but to her-well she's in love. But the only reason she is even at my house is because she wants to get closer to my brother. So much more has happened in relations to that-but I'm sure this is already too long. I just have a heart bigger than Texas. I want her out of my house. I don't necessarily want to lose her as a friend, but she can't stay there anymore. Anyone have any advice on how I can talk to her-on what to say professionally?

Thanks!

Remember - You're making the right decision for your family.

You don't really owe her any explanation at all. Just speak to her face-to-face and tell her you will no longer require her babysitting services.

Try to end on a good note by telling her that you regret that things worked out this way.

Then speak with your brother and tell him that you would prefer that he not invite her to the house again - that he can sleep with her at her house.

I know I guess I'm just extremely apprehensive on how she may respond. I mean, she's been practically living with us since April. Then tomorrow I'm going to go home hand her-her paycheck and then tell her she has to go. See, I think if I tell her I no longer require her babysitting services, she is still going to want to stay at my house. I don't want her there without me in it. I just need to be prepared for every angle that it could turn and I'm not. Thank you for replying.

Wow. You should have kicked her out the moment you walked in on her talking bad about you. This woman needs a reality check.

I walked in during the end of it, all I heard was her complaining that I wasn't there yet but then she turned around and saw me standing there behind her and had that big guilty look on her face. But it was hateful what she was saying-well the way she was saying it.

I just need some ideas of what and how to present to her this situation so that she leaves in peace.