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    jayes210's Avatar
    jayes210 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 12, 2007, 01:12 AM
    A girl that had a baby with someone else while she was with me
    I don't know what I should do or how to get over the fact that my girlfriend had another baby but from someone else. She has 3 kids from 3 different fathers and one is 7, 2, 11 months. The 2 year old is mine and when she got a job at a hospital she started messing around with a co worker and got pregnant. Then she would try to say that it was mine through out the pregnancy and living with me under my roof while she worked at the same place with him knowing she had his baby. They would still see each other and mess around at work and he knew that she lived with me and that I would pick her up everyday and take her lunch. Itheres more but I just don't know how to act what to do or what
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #2

    Mar 12, 2007, 03:50 AM
    Do you love this woman? Can you trust her? Can you get past the fact that she had this baby by another man, while you were living with her? You stated she has other children by other men - you must have known that when you became seriously involved with her and if it did not bother you then, it is not fair to let it bother you now. If it was not an issue before, do not use that to be one now. Her past behavior should have been enough of a warning sign. But I would say to let that go. What does matter in the here and now is that she was living with you, became pregnant, and this baby is not yours. That is more than enough to deal with. That and the fact the two year old is your child also.

    Do you know for an absoolute fact, DNA testing, that this baby is not yours? Do you know that the two year is yours? Is she still seeing this other man? They may deserve each other, you know. He knew she was living with you and yet it did not upset him that she cheated on you.

    You have rights as a parent and I would hope that you are checking out what those rights are. Because this woman is the Mother of your child, does not mean you need to provide place for her to live. You can go for custody of your two year old. You also need to decide is she worth any further involvement? How much are you willing to "put up" with in terms of her behavior? Not many guys would put themselves out there over and over to be a woman's doormat.

    If you feel she can be trusted, that she can seriously give up the boyfriend, and remain focused on your relationship... only you can tell that. What the heart tells us and what the facts tell us are often two different things. What has happened is very sad. I really hope you find some peaceful solution that will make you feel you did the smart thing. Don't let yourself get hurt again. Take care.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #3

    Mar 12, 2007, 04:49 AM
    It does not matter whether this person loves the women or not. The fact is she is a known cheater and has kids with how many different fathers. Are you 100 percent sure your child IS your child. If not get paternity testing asap, if you did not already do so. You want to continue being with somebody that is messing around. All the time. I think it is time for you to leave. There is no changing, the history and present time doing the same. If you actually truly have proof of this, then Leave. Run fast and get out of there. Also I would be doing my best to be able to determine if she is a fit mother or not. Do you want your child to remain there. If not, and the child is really yours then fight for custody. These are just some thoughts to think about but an all time cheater and babies with so many different fathers. You can do better, can't you?

    Joe
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Mar 12, 2007, 05:26 AM
    Be smart and get tested asap. Be gone no matter the results.

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