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    elvis22's Avatar
    elvis22 Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 3, 2009, 01:58 PM
    Friends? Or enemies?
    I'm tired of apologizing for being mad at my friends when their the ones that started it. And then I found out they talked about me at a party that I wasn't invited to saying they don't invite me anywhere cause I'm boring and depressed and a downer. They say I bring the party mood down. I found this out and I realized I don't need friends like this and I don't talk to them anymore. But one of them has been my best friend since kindergarten and she was pressured to say those things. But on the other hand she should have stood up for me.
    But anyway I am hearing them talk about and then they don't even seem to care that we are not technically friends anymore. What should I do?
    jeffrey michael's Avatar
    jeffrey michael Posts: 68, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Apr 3, 2009, 03:33 PM

    If you don't mind me asking how old are you? Age plays a lot of factors in this if we are talking about teenagers than I could understand why there talking about you, that's what kids do. But if they are adults then you should separate yourself form them and don't worry about what they are saying because in the long run you will find friends that will care for you and love you for who you are!! Adults or children it don't matter you're a special person it does not matter what people think of you, its how you feel about yourself, and just remember to treat others as you wish to be treated and you will be just fine.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Apr 3, 2009, 08:59 PM

    No a true friend wouldn't talk about you behind your back or try to doge hanging out with you. They would address any issues they have with you whether if you want to listen.

    I know you might be feeling down and out right now but maybe you need to break loose from your pack of friends and meet news one because it seems like their slowly are distancing themselves from you.

    I don't know what kind of mood swings your haven't around them but I can understand if it is relating to them not including you in their activties.

    Also, I read your other thread,https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ds-336764.html, it is very important for you not to start new threads regarding the same issues and your other threads have a little more information and you receive some good advice. When you do this you put your threads at risk for being deleted or the mods might just merge the threads.

    Now I know you feel betray, hurt, anger, sad, and all other emotional in one. And you can always come on here to vent/talk, it okay. But I really think you need a new cicle of friends or a friend.
    SHYGIRL14's Avatar
    SHYGIRL14 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Dec 30, 2010, 12:24 AM
    None of them are obviously not true friends at all then! If I were you, forget about them being your friends, and find some true ones that will always be there for you. Because you don't need fakes and snakes in your life. Simple as.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Dec 30, 2010, 02:22 PM

    It's clear they aren't handling the situation well but that could be because they aren't old enough to know how to manage it. I would not be so quick to throw your friends away and would explore the comments further. Without being defensive, really listen to what they are observing and feeling about your behavior. Do you complain a lot? Do you talk about depressing things? Are you resistant to joining in fun conversations or to do fun things? If you are always sad and gloomy or complaining and negative, then it's worthwhile to consider why. Sometimes people get in a rut and it's little more than a bad habit, and other times, there are real problems but friends don't know how to help.

    I suggest that if you are feeling sad or cranky or depressed that you talk to your parents about getting some counseling. As for your friends, I think it's appropriate to say, "I'm sorry if I haven't been much fun - I didn't even realize that was being kind of depressing until you brought it to my attention. I'm going to turn it around and I'd appreciate if I had your support. I'll try to change my attitude and in the future, if you don't like something I'm doing, I'd really like someone to come to me about it because when you just started leaving me out, it hurt my feelings and I didn't understand why you were doing that. I get it now and will fix it."

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