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    Treshet's Avatar
    Treshet Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 21, 2018, 05:46 PM
    My family wants me to go on holiday
    I am 17, & my family wants to go on holiday to the Isle of Wight. I have autism, and other anxieties which I am taking medication for. The problem here is that my mother says that I'm a "vulnerable adult", and cannot be left home by myself.

    In order to get there, we need to take a boat, a ferry to be specific; I hate being away from home, and I get really bad travel sickness. What sucks is that they have given me very little notice about this holiday, I was told about this holiday on Monday, and we're set to leave on Thursday.

    My grandmother spent £300 to book the boat, & if I don't go that will be gone down the pan. I have a lot of money saved up, and would happily pay her the money that she'll lose if I don't go. Another reason we're going on holiday is because it's her birthday.

    Even so, I'm so scared, I have nausea & feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. I, 100% with all my heart, do NOT want to go on this holiday. How could I turn this to work in my favour? I know it's selfish to ruin their holiday, but I simply cannot cope with going that far away from home.

    I really need help with this situation.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855

    May 22, 2018, 07:21 AM
    As much as you dread this change in the routine, it could go a long way in you finally getting out of yourself and self imposed comfort zone and thinking of helping your family have a good holiday. All things are possible, even dealing with your own feelings in positive ways so think of them, and not just yourself.

    Spend your money on a nice gift for your grandmother, and join in the celebration of her happiness. Why would you let your feelings of fear and dread stand in the way of that? Is it not better to share in happiness with family than share your FEAR alone?

    Plus you obviously have no choice, so make the most of it!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646

    May 22, 2018, 07:50 AM
    Having autism and anxiety really makes life hard, if not impossible, sometimes. At 17 years old, itís time to try new things, gain new experiences. If this is the case, stepping out of your comfort zone can actually be beneficial to you and your mental health.

    Will it be easy for you? No, of course not. However, by going on this holiday and conquering your anxieties and fears you may show your mother that you are not as vulnerable as she feels you are.

    I get that you want to stay home, but there is no better way to prove to your mother that you are not as vulnerable as she thinks you are than by going on this holiday with your family. You just may prove to her that you are stronger than she thinks you are. You just may even surprise yourself.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692

    May 22, 2018, 10:16 AM
    At 17, at least where I am at (your country may be different) a 17 has no choice or option, they have to obey their parents

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