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    joselmdz's Avatar
    joselmdz Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 4, 2017, 05:49 AM
    I don't like people close to me when I eat
    I become very uncomfortable when people get close to me when I eat, if too close I get angry, I don't like my wife and or kids to get close to me when I eat, I like to eat with my space not invaded. I tried to deal with it, like just to not say anything about it but I get angrier and angrier and I don't know why, I just cant stop thinking that the person is too close to me and I don't even enjoy the meal...
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Oct 4, 2017, 07:12 AM
    OK.... on the scale of phobias, that's not too bad, and should be easy to handle.
    First is a way to allow you to eat with no one close to you. If your kids are very young, they aren't going to understand, but do try to gather everyone (at dinner!) to explain that it's a real fear. You could say that you are working on changing, but need their help for now, to let you eat surrounded by X inches or feet of space. You could even put chairs around you.
    Second is the way to overcome the fear. Most techniques use small steps, small efforts on a pre-determined schedule, with each little step carefully spelled out. Your wife may sit nearest without being too near, and may reach over to hand you something, or refill your glass - anything that you think is a good first step.
    If you don't ever WANT to change, you won't. That's something only you can decide.

    Decades ago, there might have been attempts to analyse your past to see how the fear started. You can certainly think back over your life to at least realize when it started, and you might be able to remember an event or series of events that were very unpleasant. I know that I once got violently ill after eating a dish with fresh mint in it, the only ingredient that I didn't usually eat, and I won't go near mint now. This sort of avoidance based on one obvious event is very common. Yours may be more complicated.

    But again, the reasons aren't really the important part. Whether or not you want to change is, and if not, how you will arrange your life around it.

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