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    fidget_09's Avatar
    fidget_09 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 9, 2012, 02:37 AM
    My brother doesn't talk to my mum.
    Hi I'm new here.
    My brother stopped talking to my mum about 5-6 years ago when he was 15 and he's now coming up to being 21. Back then my mum was an alcoholic and used to come out with horrible comments when she was under the influence of drink. Y brother. I've tried to talk to him and try to make him realize that she isn't a bad person and that she is sorry for things that have happened in the past. She loves my brother still and does everything for him, his washing, cleaning and ironing, but he doesn't give anything back. When ever she tries to talk to him he tells her to **** off or get lost. It's really starting to get to my mum. She has done a lot over the years and is now a recovered alcoholic. It's going to be my brother's 21st in a few weeks time and she's thinking about going away as he doesn't want her around. It's really starting to destroy the family. My dads no help either sometimes and just buries his head with things that go on and tune out of it. Is there anything else that can be done.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert

    Jul 9, 2012, 05:30 AM
    It is good your mother no longer drinks, which is of course, what caused this rift with her son, for many years.

    That being said, she can't expect that he will come around and trust her again, or want to have a relationship with him again.

    But, what he can't do is talk out of both sides of his mouth. If he has decided she is not worthy of forgiveness, and wants nothing to do with her, then he cannot expect to have his washing, cleaning and ironing done!

    Your mother on the other hand, disrespects herself by being his maid, and allowing him to treat her badly. She can do all she likes for him to beg for forgiveness and a new relationship with him, but, she needs to set some boundaries with her adult son.

    No laundry for starters.

    He needs to know that he cannot expect his mother to be doing his laundry any more. Same goes with her being the one to try to talk to him. Enough of his cold shoulder. She needs to back off. If he has a key to the house, get it back. No loans, no helping out, nothing.

    She deserves to be treated with respect, and she needs to tell him that until he does show some respect, she will no longer be at his mercy. If he chooses to ignore her, disrespect her, and use her, then the tables have to be turned around here. She has to set boundaries.

    She might suggest counselling, or a time to talk, but it is time for him to step up, be a man, and handle this with a ittle maturity.

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