Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    girl999's Avatar
    girl999 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 9, 2007, 02:07 AM
    My boyfriend's mother
    My boyfriend's mother is an absolute dragon. She totally despies me. She always finds something to criticize me about. She says stuff like I eat too much, although I only weigh 55 kg and am 22 years old.. The one time I played with my b/f and pinched his butt and then she whispered to him that only lesbians do that? I mean, I can't even hug him in front of her and her eyes widen. My b/f had a few girlfriends before me and they all had the same problem, except the one before me. She was absolutely crazy about her. They always called one another and they just came along very well. Me and my b/f and his mother went shopping one time and we walked into this ex g/f and his mother burst into tears, I mean what on earth do I do so wrong? Why can't she like me? All my ex b/f parents loved me. If anyone could please help me!
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jul 9, 2007, 02:26 AM
    Honestly it does not really matter. What matters is that you are your boyfriends girlfriend and that you and him are close together. It is not about loving his mother or even getting along. Keep it civil on your part, but I think that there will always be issues. No matter what though what matters is that your boyfriend is happy. If he is happy no matter what his mother should be happy too. If not it is not your problem.

    Joe
    Moomin's Avatar
    Moomin Posts: 167, Reputation: 19
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Jul 9, 2007, 02:39 AM
    I can empathise, honestly I can!
    Just try not to let it spoil your time with your boyfriend, it is obvious you will have to meet with his mother at some point but maybe if you can avoid seeing her do so!

    Just remember it doesn't effect how he feels about you!
    girl999's Avatar
    girl999 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Jul 9, 2007, 03:52 AM
    Thanks for the advice, but I wish there was a way that I could avoid seeing her, because she's moving in with my b/f at the end of the month... And she's going to stay there for like in forever!
    Skrypt's Avatar
    Skrypt Posts: 156, Reputation: 25
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jul 9, 2007, 05:35 AM
    I know the type. My friend had a new girlfriend and his mother kept telling him to go back to his ex-girlfriend. Basically my friend told his mother that he doesn't care who she wants him to be with.

    In this situation, The mother doesn't like you because of circumstance and wants the old girlfriend back. Just play nice to the mother, and be with your boyfriend. Whatever you do, DON'T let your boyfriend's mother see you get upset at her.
    Dennis777's Avatar
    Dennis777 Posts: 478, Reputation: 124
    Full Member
     
    #6

    Jul 9, 2007, 07:21 AM
    Hello.

    It's not you so relax. In the end he has to deal with his mother.

    Show her how happy you make her son and how much you Love him. In time she will come around and if not your boyfriend will have to deal with that.

    It wouldn't hurt to find out what she likes and learn about it. Maybe even ask her to teach you about it. Make her feel like she is helping you.

    Good Luck
    Dennis777
    alkaline's Avatar
    alkaline Posts: 61, Reputation: 20
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Jul 9, 2007, 08:08 AM
    I had a boyfriend's mom hate me and it ended up killing our relationship. It wasn't my fault that she hated me, she had a problem with the fact that I wasn't the same religion as their family. She was so incredibly mean to me over it, it seemed like she was a teenager and not an adult. It got so bad that she actually offered to buy him a new car if he'd break up with me.

    It was like a disease eating at our relationship, but I think in the end (after being able to look back years later) I would have been best off just ignoring her as much as possible. I let her get to me, and I let her create fights between my boyfriend and I constantly. It didn't occur to me that if it came down to a "choose between me and your mother" that I was never going to win that. I was the easier one to get rid of, and I always would be.

    In retrospect, I am glad it didn't work out. If she was that horrible when we were dating, what kind of mother in law would she be? How would she treat our children in the future? I would have had to deal with her making my life miserable for a long time.

    My advice would be to try your best not to fight with your boyfriend over it. Do whatever you can so that she doesn't think the things she does are getting to you. Try to coexist with her, let her see you aren't a threat to her relationship with her son. Be as nice to her as you can, even if you have to bite your tongue. Try to have some common interests with her so you will have something to talk about. If there are things she is uncomfortable seeing you and your boyfriend do in front of her (even if you think it is stupid) try your best to respect her feelings and not do those things. Avoid giving her any ammunition.

    If you can't do all that, and it continues to upset you, I hate to say it but you might want to consider finding a different boyfriend. I don't know how much of a future you are looking for right now with someone you date (specifically this guy), but you need to consider if you want to deal with her for a lot longer, she might not change. When you marry someone, you kind of marry their family, too. You might be setting yourself up for a lot of misery in the future if your relations with his mother don't improve.

    In any case, good luck. I hope she realizes you make her son happy, and that that is the most important thing.
    Shojolynn18's Avatar
    Shojolynn18 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Dec 7, 2010, 08:30 PM
    In the words of my mother "no girl will ever be good enough for her son"
    My mom always tortured my brothers girlfriend and now I'm being tortured
    By my boyfriends mom and it all just doesn't make sense to me because
    I help out a lot with picking his little sister up from school when she cant
    I make sure she eat and things like that.. I try to expand my love for pretty
    Much the whole family because I'm a family person and so is my boyfriend but
    No matter what she just doesn't care I ask my boyfriend all the time if his
    Mom likes me and he always says you she just gives me a hard time because
    She had a hard time with her mother in law because she wanted to make sure
    She was strong enough to take care of his dad which still doesn't make sense but
    Never let her see you get upset or mad over things she say or do cause that
    Shows a sum of weakness and that's something that a lot of men mothers
    Are looking for in their sons girlfriends
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,701, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #9

    Dec 8, 2010, 03:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shojolynn18 View Post
    in the words of my mother "no girl will ever be good enough for her son"
    my mom always tortured my brothers girlfriend and now im being tortured
    by my boyfriends mom and it all just doesnt make sense to me because
    i help out alot with picking his little sister up from school when she cant
    i make sure she eat and things like that.. i try to expand my love for pretty
    much the whole family because im a family person and so is my boyfriend but
    no matter what she just doesnt care i ask my boyfriend all the time if his
    mom likes me and he always says ya she just gives me a hard time because
    she had a hard time with her mother in law because she wanted to make sure
    she was strong enough to take care of his dad which still doesnt make sense but
    never let her see you get upset or mad over things she say or do cause that
    shows a sum of weakness and thats something that alot of men mothers
    are looking for in their sons girlfriends


    Please in the future be aware of the dates on the Original Posts. Your adding to a 3 year old thread. Thanks.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Boyfriend's birthday [ 4 Answers ]

What should I do/get my boyfriend for his birthday? I don't want to throw a party, just do something the two of us. He likes music, but the only concerts he would like are way out of my price range. Thanks for your help.

Boyfriend's ex [ 6 Answers ]

My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile, but about a year ago we split up well while we were apart he was with another girl and they slept together a few times well we got back together and then I found out about her and she tells me she is pregnant and she don't want the baby. She wants...

My boyfriend's ex-crush. [ 8 Answers ]

Well my boyfriend and I are new to the relationship world... We have a lot in common especially in self-experiences. We are both a bit emotionally unstable but are in love. And we know that we still have so much to learn. Recently; we had a large argument about his ex-crush that he loved. He...

Boyfriend's chat [ 2 Answers ]

Ok my boyfriend and me haven't been dating that long but we've known each other for 2 years. Our relationship has been going really good. We see each other a few times a week and talk everyday. We rarely fight and when we do we make up the same night. Now we also both have myspace accounts and talk...

Boyfriend's bm won't let him see his baby [ 2 Answers ]

My boyfriend has a daughter about a year and a half old by another women. Around 8 years ago, though, he had sex with someone he thought was over-age and found out after they split up (they had been "dating") that she was underage. After the split up she said that the sex had not been consensual...


View more questions Search