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    snowpink's Avatar
    snowpink Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 10, 2011, 05:36 AM
    I am a young lady in my mid twenties. Kind and really friendly and has been
    I am a young lady in my mid twenties. Kind and really friendly and has been
    Through so much. I so resent my motherís family. Ill refer to my motherís
    Siblings as follows
    B-female (Motherís older sister)
    E-male (Uncle)
    E is the last born and we were living with him at my granís place. He just
    Used to bring different ladies (More than 20different) up until he got married
    In 2008. The wife was from a really disadvantage background and all she had was
    Some grey long skirt and big outdated shoes. My mother gave her some of her
    Clothes, night dresses and even bought her kid(from previous r-ship) clothes
    (before meeting him)and supporting them financially as my uncleís wife only
    Got a job in 2008 as a security guard and she would even buy her nappies and my
    Uncle doesnít earn a decent salary.. She started changingÖ Getting along
    With my motherís sister (B) and bad mouthing us whenever she would visit her
    (she stays in the rural areas). And that house where she lives in a family
    Just recently my uncle wasnít working and my mother would pay tuition fee and
    Help out whenever she could for my 15 year old cousin who attended a private
    School. Because my uncleís wife couldnít support her as she is her step
    What happened is that my uncle borrowed R6000 from me in order to buy a car and
    I told him I donít have it. He and the wife then started calling the sister(B)
    Telling her that impilo ayisekho mnandi (because I didnít borrow him the
    Money)endlini thus my mother should move out and go rent a place as they cant
    Because they have a kid(which means me and my siblings we not that important, we can
    Go rent a place) .
    My mother is a single lady and she couldnít afford getting her own house
    Besides, she tried and ended up being crooked by some family now she is paying
    4800 per month for a house she doesnít stay in. she wanted me to get educated
    (and I did) so I could help her out. I feel itís wrong to treat my mother this
    Way as my granís place itís still her home (last born rule of saying the
    Last one inherits the house is unfair). How could they treat her this way?
    Especially after everything she has done for them? And isnít that bo makoti
    Are supposed to bring peace and not cause more fights?
    We finally moved Aza and mama entered into another bond. I am thankful to God
    For that and am finally free. My problem is I canít forgive. It has hurt my
    Mother so much Aza and as a result its hurting me I canít forgive aunt B and
    My uncle and his wife because family is suppose to be there for you and not
    Hurt you. I keep wishing them bad things. I am a Christian but I feel canít
    Heal up until something bad happens to them. Has any listener been hurt by
    Family. How did they get over it? Is this normal? I just want to move on and
    Concentrate on making new memories in the new house with my mother and my
    Siblings and have a relationship with God. If I donít forgive I may pay the
    Price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and
    New experience. My life may become so wrapped up in the wrong that I canítenjoy the present.
    Thanks in advance.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member

    May 10, 2011, 05:51 AM

    Where are you? I can't quite understand all of the problems.

    As a side note I don't think it's "kind" or "Christian" (both words which you use to describe yourself) not to be able to forgive and to "keep wishing bad things" on your enemies.

    I think you have to put this behind you and move on. Possibly that is easier said than done.

    I'm not sure this shouldn't be on a religious board because I don't understand the terms you use.
    SweetDee's Avatar
    SweetDee Posts: 534, Reputation: 51
    Senior Member

    May 10, 2011, 05:57 AM
    Here it is... short and sweet. You say your life is better now that you moved and all that drama is in your past. SO MOVE ON! Choose and decide to let it go. It's in your power... you just haven't chosen it yet. DO IT! You say you're Christian and a believer in God... time to put your money where your mouth is. :) You wouldn't be the first to have to shake something off and "reboot".
    snowpink's Avatar
    snowpink Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 10, 2011, 06:22 AM

    Thanks guys. Its just I feel maybe I would feel better if we all sat and talked about this as a family.

    @Judy, I am in south africa. I meant that as a christian you come across such problems and thus start questioning other things.

    Sorry I used south african language.

    Bo makoti means sister in laws
    Impilo ayisekho mnandi means- life is not okay
    Thanks Sweet Dee. I needed to hear that

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