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    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
     
    #1

    Dec 28, 2005, 11:40 AM
    (L)Users Computer Guide
    Part 1: The CPU

    This is a large box that comes with your computer for only one reason: the power button. The disk drive and cd-rom can be removed and placed in a drawer for convenience. Plugging in is only necessary once a week.

    Part 2: The monitor

    Commonly called the "TV thing", the monitor is radioactive and dangerous. It can either be plugged into the CPU or the wall, but not both. A green light means it's working, a yellow light means to smack it like a TV with bad reception.

    Part 3: The internet

    The internet comes to your computer through a modem, a detachable box inside your computer. The modem should be placed either next to the CPU or taken home over the weekend. DSL and cable modems plug into the wall through a regular phone cord. If a dial-up modem makes screeching noises, unplug and try again.

    Part 4: Mouse and keyboard

    While you do not need a keyboard, Windows can not be navigated without a mouse. Mouse should be placed on a large enogh mouse pad that you will never rach the edges of it. Picking up the mouse can break it. Keyboard should be cleaned in lukewarm water - NEVER use soap! Keys on the keyboard can be removed and placed in alphabetical order to make typing easier.

    Part 5: Fax Machine

    While not a technically a part of the computer, tech support will be more than happy to help you with your problems. Fax machines come with a "shredder" that destroys the original document if it is faxed correctly. If an intact document emerges, try sending it again. Please note that if instead of a screeching noise, a human voice comes on and yells agrily, you obviously have the correct fax number and that person is just confused.

    Come on people get it right ;)

    Ok not a question but fun none the less.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Dec 28, 2005, 11:42 AM
    Sadly people will read it and think it's an actual user's guide. :(
    RickJ's Avatar
    RickJ Posts: 7,762, Reputation: 864
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Dec 28, 2005, 11:46 AM
    LOL, great stuff! :p
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #4

    Dec 28, 2005, 11:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Curlyben
    Part 1: The CPU

    This is a large box that comes with your computer for only one reason: the power button. The disk drive and cd-rom can be removed and placed in a drawer for convenience. Plugging in is only neccesary once a week.

    Part 2: The monitor

    Commonly called the "TV thing", the monitor is radioactive and dangerous. It can either be plugged into the CPU or the wall, but not both. A green light means it's working, a yellow light means to smack it like a tv with bad reception.

    Part 3: The internet

    The internet comes to your computer through a modem, a detachable box inside your computer. The modem should be placed either next to the CPU or taken home over the weekend. DSL and cable modems plug into the wall through a regular phone cord. If a dial-up modem makes screeching noises, unplug and try again.

    Part 4: Mouse and keyboard

    While you do not need a keyboard, Windows can not be navigated without a mouse. Mouse should be placed on a large enogh mouse pad that you will never rach the edges of it. Picking up the mouse can break it. Keyboard should be cleaned in lukewarm water - NEVER use soap! Keys on the keyboard can be removed and placed in alphabetical order to make typing easier.

    Part 5: Fax Machine

    While not a technically a part of the computer, tech support will be more than happy to help you with your problems. Fax machines come with a "shredder" that destroys the original document if it is faxed correctly. If an intact document emerges, try sending it again. Please note that if instead of a screeching noise, a human voice comes on and yells agrily, you obviously have the correct fax number and that person is just confused.

    Come on people get it right ;)

    Ok not a question but fun none the less.
    Believe it or not, this sounds just like some of the translated guides that I have read. Where do those companies get those translators??
    At any rate, THIS WAS CUTE!
    Nez's Avatar
    Nez Posts: 557, Reputation: 51
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Dec 28, 2005, 12:02 PM
    Users computer guide
    What dya mean,it isn't true... :confused:

    Also,should have added,when replacing hard drive,take old copy outside into garden.Take sledgehammer,and smash it to bits.Remove to newly dug hole.Place mangled drive into hole.Fill with concrete :D

    Nice one Ben.

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