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    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Apr 10, 2009, 06:39 PM
    Sneaky backstabber
    I have worked at the same place for 25 years. All this time in the same position. After all that time, there has only been 2 people that I have found it really difficult to work with. But recently someone new is in our "division." I didn't want here there because I knew she was really chummy with the boss. I made the HORRIBLE mistake of voicing my opinion to some of the other people in our division. It got back to one of the first line supervisors, and ended up with the boss. (He was only my boss for about 6 months--we change Department Heads every few years.) He was irate. I have good reason not to care for this person because of rumors she spread about my daughter that were not true.
    Then I was given a new duty that usually the new person's position would do. Quite time consuming, but the boss decided that someone else should do this. I made another HORRIBLE mistake by voicing my opinion on that too--with the boss. He put me in my place and said I was going to do it. Period. Things have been going pretty well. I stay my distance from her because I know she is a trouble maker. Instigator. Gossiper. All of the above.
    Something happened yesterday that really upset me. It was something other co-workers were saying that was disrespectful to the position of "Secretary." The new person asked me what was going on. I told her. She said that our boss would not like that AT ALL, and he should know. She said she would tell him so I didn't look like a tattle tale. BUT I think she changed the story all around to make it look like I was just whining over something and not that it was a valid complaint at all.--which it IS. I don't know how to repair this other than maybe just shut up for a change.
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
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    #2

    Apr 10, 2009, 06:43 PM
    Obviously, you coworkers can not be trusted to not repeat what you say - therefore stop saying things that you don't want to be repeated.

    It seems you have fallen into bad favor with your boss. For the time being, keep you head down, do your work, stop complaining and stop confiding in coworkers. If you do the right thing, your work will speak for itself and before long your boss will move on to someone else.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7691
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    #3

    Apr 10, 2009, 06:55 PM

    If bosses change that much, wait a while and you will have a new one.

    At this point, you stop talking and know you can't trust others not to repeat. So you just go to work and do your job.
    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Apr 11, 2009, 05:39 AM
    Well, that's pretty much what I thought I would have to do. The way this boss is, you can't go to him with ANYTHING it seems like... he always takes it the wrong way, and isn't consistent at all.

    Yesterday mostly the "male" co-workers were angry because they were told they had to scan paperwork into the computer. The rest of the afternoon I would hear them say (loud enough for me to hear them, of course)

    The things that were said that unrespectful to secretaries were things like this:

    "Now that I'm having to do SECRETARIAL work, I don't have time for my REAL work. This is ridiculous!!"

    I've been there 25 years, I'm not planning on going anywhere, but some days they are just such jerks!
    BuddyMan's Avatar
    BuddyMan Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Apr 11, 2009, 06:46 AM

    I sympathize. I used to do more than my fair share of gossiping with coworkers, and I learned that nothing good comes of it, ever.
    I found it colors the way people look at you, because they reason that if you gossip to them about others, you will gossip to others about them.
    So I just don't do it anymore. I figure if something is so juicy I just have to tell someone, they will also find it juicy enough to have to tell someone else. It has made a big difference in my life. I just don't share my feelings about others at work with anyone. Maybe my dog. I try to keep a friendly relationship with my coworkers. It sounds pretty simple, but it goes a long way to making work life much better. And a funny thing I have found is if I keep my dislike to some individuals to myself, make an effort to be friendly to them as much as to anyone else, sometimes they end up being the folks I like the most.
    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #6

    Apr 12, 2009, 12:01 PM
    Every 6 or 7 months, I go through something similar to this and it comes down to this (at least for me)... my co-workers are NOT my friends and don't treat me as such. So I just need to do my work and shut my mouth. What is frustrating is that when things happen that the boss really should know about and should CARE about, I can't tell him because he doesn't really care. He just wants smooth sailing all the time and that's not possible.
    BuddyMan's Avatar
    BuddyMan Posts: 25, Reputation: 3
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    #7

    Apr 12, 2009, 01:34 PM

    So the guys have to scan their own paperwork and they think someone else should do it.

    Sounds to me like they are just engaging in the time-honored tradition of generic complaining, and if you make this into something more by running to tattle to the secretary or anyone else, you are just escalating matters that would resolve themselves on their own if you just kept out of it. I wouldn't expect to be thanked for this.
    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #8

    Apr 12, 2009, 01:38 PM
    Well, I AM the secretary (Administrative Assistant technically, but really the Secretary)... The boss told them to start doing this scanning out of their folders. The one guy said very loudly "Now that I'm having to do SECRETARIAL work" to make sure that I heard it. That's why it was so disrespectful--to me. But I've learned here that Even if someone spits in your face, you are supposed to sit down and shut up and do your job. Of course there are the "golden boys" that can do anything. I'm just not a "golden girl." It's really sad the way so many people treat "support staff" so differently after all these years. Especially where I work, because I'm not only "support staff" but I'm also a civilian. Two strikes against me to begin with.
    Blushingbride's Avatar
    Blushingbride Posts: 22, Reputation: -2
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    #9

    Apr 13, 2009, 12:15 AM

    Let me tell you something honey. I know I'm young, only 22 years old, but I've had my share of bad co-workers and employees. I worked for Ginos for two years even became a general manager. I wasn't allowed to run my own store! I got paid min. wage being a general manager and got no bonus, no time off, and always had to re-do everyone else's paper work. I got sick of it. Even I had to work alone many times with no crew. My point is all this came to be because of one employee that got away with anything. My advice to you is don't say anything to anyone, set up your own plan traps. For ex. I knew, but was never told, to not let anyone in my register but they did it anyway. One day I let one open for me and left a 50 bill from the safe in the drawer knowing he was going to take it and I had the $50 to replace it. He took it and got caught and I talked to the owner about it and let him know what I did. They will eventually hang themselves, especially if you help along the way and if your boss is a good boss he wants employees he knows that can deal with problems and resolve them in a mature manner. There's the boss's approval, there's maybe a promotion, and you now have his respect for looking after his store and catching something he wasn't. Of course to the owner he'll take credit but you have your dignity.
    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #10

    Apr 13, 2009, 08:21 AM
    Actually, I've been thinking on the same line as that. The female is very sneaky and smart. The one male I'm having trouble with is very vindictive, but usually gets over it. The guy is a detective. The boss told them to start scanning their own stuff (as I have said a couple of times)--sorry. He's the one that made that "secretarial" work remark.

    I get dozens of calls a day from citizens wanting to know what is going on with their cases, can they drop charges, what happens next, have we found their property, etc. etc. etc. From now on I am going to immediately transfer those calls to detectives (that ONE especially when I can) and tell that I would answer those questions, but it's really detective work and I'm busy with my secretarial duties.

    My boss used to get on to these guys right away, but has only been back here since June 2008 and is already letting things slip.

    Thank you!
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #11

    May 27, 2009, 10:54 AM

    The biggest lesson I've learned is that bosses don't want to deal with pettiness and whatever issue you have with another person, regardless of who is wrong or right, is viewed as petty. The expectation is that everyone will act professionally, be respectful of one another and manage things properly.

    If you are the one being disrespected, it's hard to accept that - you want and need the boss to step in and support you. But typically, they won't, and if you push them to, they will see you as a trouble maker.

    The solution in my opinion is that you need to take all those years of stability and experience and go work somewhere else. You can probably make a leap in your income and responsibility, and though the job market is tight, people are hiring right now. I suggest you move on because they no longer are treating you respectfully - the cultural shift in the organization is not a good fit for you, and it's not you, so move on.
    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #12

    May 27, 2009, 11:04 AM
    Oh, this is priceless. There was a new job market study done where I work. Because I told the TRUTH on the questionnaire, I was demoted. The other secretary lied and got a new title and pay grade.

    I was actually DEMOTED and went down 3 pay grades. I am not going to lose my hourly salary, but because of the demotion, it puts me at the top of my pay grade (topped out) and I won't get anymore raises until or if it ever changes.

    My boss and his boss don't seem to care. I don't think anyone has done anything to try to change it.

    As far as going someplace else, I'd love to. But basically I'm a HS grad and I'm a whiz at data entry, organizing multiple databases, recalling information from years past, keeping the division in line, and dealing with the District Attorney's office and other government agencies every day. There is so much more to my job than typing and answering the phone. IF I tried to find a new job, I would probably start at half what I'm making now.
    I'm older, overweight, I can't do a lot of computer things, and just not very marketable.
    trmpldonagn's Avatar
    trmpldonagn Posts: 252, Reputation: 15
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    #13

    Jun 2, 2009, 10:28 PM

    Hiya Beth. This is an interesting thread. I had to laugh at your last post (above). It is comical. You may already know this but just in case... please be careful with the transferring of calls and especially to that one JERK. It really stinks but if he or someone else catches on, he can make things miserable for you and it sounds like he may certainly try. I hate to hear when people go through things like this and have to put up with it. I remember one of Oprah's shows many years ago where she said that she'd like to see justice in the workplace. I have to tell you I have been waiting years to see or hear of someone getting what they deserve but I haven't yet. Actually, there are quite a few people. I doesn't ruin my days or take up my thoughts but this thread did indeed remind me. It does bother me. Keep us posted on what happens. I really hope something good for you happens and that someone else gets what they deserve for a change.
    Buddyman made a GREAT point in one of the above posts but sometimes I've followed that rule and still got crapola. Not always though. For the most part he is right but when people have a problem with someone, whether it's jealousy or they're just a busy body, they're going to antagonize and make trouble no matter what you do. I hope this doesn't turn out to be the case with you.
    Keep us posted.

    Edit: Our posts juuuuust crossed.
    trmpldonagn's Avatar
    trmpldonagn Posts: 252, Reputation: 15
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    #14

    Jun 2, 2009, 10:38 PM

    Unbelievable. You answered TRUTHFULLY and got demoted?? I'm upset for you. I'm wondering what the question was and how & why you got demoted for it. From what I am gathering, maybe you don't want to say because it's a confidential position that you are in? Is there anyone there you can talk to in confidence or anyone that would back you up? How did this witch get away with lying?

    I don't suppose this is a union job and not sure where you live. What stinks is that even where I live and where there is a labor board, they don't do too much unless it's a very strong argument. Something seems very wrong and unfair with what happened to you.
    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #15

    Jun 3, 2009, 06:55 AM
    Well, you know... I am really at a loss. My boss doesn't care. The Assistant Chief doesn't care. No one has done anything to change this. If I went to HR myself, I would be in trouble for "going over" them. Even though the people who should be fighting for me obviously don't care.

    It seems like the thing that separated the other secretary and me was about travel arrangements, etc. These were: Maintains assigned calendars, schedules meetings and appointments, books travel arrangements; registers staff for conferences and seminars. Plans and organizes meetings, workshops and other events. Posts meeting agendas, assembles meeting packets and materials.

    I don't do any of those things. SHE doesn't have anything to do with travel arrangements, conferences, seminars, organizing meetings, workshops, etc. There is only one person in this entire department that does that, and that's the secretary for the Training Division.

    When I got what was written up it said to add or delete things to make it describe your particular job. I took out all that. That was basically the only thing that was different from hers.

    Yes, I've been here for 25 years only to be demoted and I'm "below" the pay grade that someone that has been here for about 8 years. My boss held up the self-description that I wrote (where I deleted those things) and said "THIS is what they based this on--the things that YOU wrote." In other words, it's all your fault, so quit complaining.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #16

    Jun 3, 2009, 07:30 PM

    Beth, I apologize. I didn't realize that disagreeing with someone is the same as giving them a "negative rating". I disagreed with your reasons for not going somewhere else - perhaps your thoughts that you don't have enough education and the weight issue. I thought saying "disagree" just means you don't agree. Didn't know this racks up as some negative point thing... so again, my apologies!
    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #17

    Jun 4, 2009, 07:42 AM

    Holy cow--I don't even know how to give a negative rating! Sorry! I have no idea what I did.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #18

    Jun 4, 2009, 08:44 AM

    You didn't do anything wrong, I did. I wanted to give you more encouragement so disagreed with your view that you may not be able to do as well if you pursue a different job so I hit "disagree" and made a comment on your post. Then I found out later that people aren't supposed to hit "disagree" unless they really seriously think the person is totally, irredeamably wrong - they call them "reddies" I guess (because it shows up red, I supose).

    Anyway, I don't know if the cyber fairy comes and takes your favorite cookies or what happens if you get too many "reddies", but whatever the consequence, I didn't mean to give you one and am sorry I did!

    Yikes...
    beth1954's Avatar
    beth1954 Posts: 11, Reputation: 4
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    #19

    Jun 4, 2009, 08:57 AM

    Oh, OK. I still don't understand, but... to address what I said about not being able to get a good job. The reason I say that (95% of why I say that) is because I don't have any confidence in myself.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #20

    Jun 4, 2009, 09:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dontknownuthin View Post
    You didn't do anything wrong, I did. I wanted to give you more encouragement so disagreed with your view that you may not be able to do as well if you pursue a different job so I hit "disagree" and made a comment on your post. Then I found out later that people aren't suposed to hit "disagree" unless they really seriously think the person is totally, irredeamably wrong - they call them "reddies" I guess (because it shows up red, I supose).

    Anyway, I don't know if the cyber fairy comes and takes your favorite cookies or what happens if you get too many "reddies", but whatever the consequence, I didn't mean to give you one and am sorry I did!

    Yikes...


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