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    parent25's Avatar
    parent25 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member

    Jul 14, 2008, 05:37 PM
    Previous Supervisor still talking.
    Ok so I don't know what to do at this point. I doubt there is anything I can do. I need to vent. This is just ridiculous. Ok so it all started...

    In August of last year I began employment with company X. Then 6wks into my working there I found out I was pregnant. I let them know that I would need to take off for at least 4 weeks and would definitely return. They were OK with that and I worked up until the day I gave birth in Feb of this year. In the meantime they hired someone for me to train while I was out on maternity leave. I trained her well. She told me they told her I was not coming back during her interview with them. I didn't say anything to my boss I just talked to her and made sure she knew I intended on returning. She just smiled and said oh yes we know that. So then OK, I leave to have my baby.

    4wks later I email my boss to tell her I'm ready to return. She says great and that I could start bak up the following week. Then when I come back to work the girl who had filled in for me says that things have been hell and she just can't seem to get the position down and That she was going to be happy to move on to the position that was promised to her upon my return. Unfortunately the week I returned she was fired. THey never gave her the position promised.

    So, conclusion of all of that.. They would have kept her and not have let me return if she was doing a good job. Luckily (for me) she was not able to do the job so they said OK GReat to me coming back.

    Anyhow that is that.. then this is where I am just pissed!

    So then 4mo later after I returned to work I decided I needed more money and that I was so unhappy in my position. I hated going to work. So I started looking elsewhere. I found a great job and put in a two weeks notice. She was so nice about it and was like blah blah blah we hate to lose you and all that. Then I did my best the last two weeks I was there to train the new girl taking my position. On my last day my boss didn't even say bye.

    So anyhow, I made friends the two weeks I was traing the new girl and we have kept in contact since I left. She tells me each time my "boss" would talk about me. She told her and in front of everyone.. "well we were suprised she even came back after having the baby, because after you have a baby you get all sorts of benefits from the state (welfare) and id be suprised if she is even working right now. i assumed she quit so she can get on welfare"

    This is ongoing! I have not worked there for 3wks now! I have moved on and started my new job already (which I love) but She is talking so bad about me and why would she even assume such bad things about me w/o even knowing anything? What could give her those ideas anyhow? Sure like welfare is going to pay my rent and car payments? Im still shocked she would even say those things. (no offense to anyone on welfare)

    To top if off we never had a bad relationship! I was the perfect employee so to speak. I did what I was told. Never late, no call ins. I worked hard!

    So why is she so bitter. It is hurting my feelings now and I know the right thing to do is just forget about it and let it go because obviously I was not happy there so I left and I am so happy at my new job but still I am angry that she keeps talking about me. The things she is saying are so absurd. What can I do about this?

    Should I simply just call her and ask that she quit speaking about me? How can I just let this go? I know I know I shoud prob just do that but I feel so tired of being walked upon. I feel like she is making me look so stupid with all the things she is saying. I feel pathetic for just letting her get away with this.

    I knew she was this type of person because she had always talked about our patients while I worked there and she was just a snotty person but still it has to have some sort of end to it. Why me? What did I do?

    Please give me advice before I do something stupid like call her! Right now I know I am just emotional and angry and would probably make a fool of myself and then she would go and say more things!

    What would you do?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member

    Jul 14, 2008, 06:34 PM
    I would just write her off as history and not worry about her. Most often people talk crapola on people if they are bitter or jealous. When people better themselves it somehow eases others minds to talk ignorant thinking that is making themselves look superior.
    Forget about her.
    What would calling her do then she will just turn that into making you look worse.
    Like you call and then next day when she is at work she say 'oh yeah, she called last night begging to come back she is miserable where she is and I told her no.'
    Anything you say is just going to get turned into ''you were groveling at her feet''
    parent25's Avatar
    parent25 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member

    Jul 14, 2008, 07:39 PM
    Thanks.. and deep down I know your right but I guess I'm just really hurt. I really didn't expect this. I am young and they are not.. thats the thing. If she was my age I would take this as oh just trash talk and jealousy but no she is not. She has a professional title and makes big money. She is probably in her 50s. And again, like I said, I never did anything only as I was told. I did my job and never had any problem. So that is why I am hurt for what she is saying.

    I will write it off as you said. I will move on and rethink my whole "caring about what people think of me" thing. I used to only care about what the people who I respect think of me and not the people who I didn't. I used to respect her. Now I don't. So now I have to not care right.

    Thanks for your response..
    wehadababyitsab's Avatar
    wehadababyitsab Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 20, 2008, 08:56 AM
    One thing to consider - if you call and say that you know she is still trashing you, she will know someone still on staff is telling you. It could cause problems for the new person in your old job.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
    Ultra Member

    Sep 3, 2008, 12:42 PM
    A liar is a liar. Once I've been lied to or about by someone in a work situation, I'm done with them.

    I would instead call a higher level manager with whom you had a positive relationship and no bad experiences while you were there, an owner or executive if possible.

    Just call and say, "Hey, Bob, how are things going? Great. Well, I wanted to call for a few reasons. First, I wanted to thank you again for a great experience. While I wasn't there long I learned a great deal - thanks again the opportunity.

    I also needed to just ask you to see if you can resolve a problem that's cropped up since I left. Several of former colleagues have told me that Mary has told them I quit to stay home with baby Henry and go on wellfare. Of course, she is aware that I left to accept a new job opportunity. Anyway, Bob, I guess it's time to let you know that I left in large part because she spread rumors while I was on maternity leave that I was not going to come back, even giving Kathy the impression that she was going to be hired into my job long-term. I was so bothered by it, I didn't feel I could stay, even though I loved the rest of the job. But given that I did leave to end this, I need to count on you to step in and stop her from continuing to disparage me in this way. Can I count on you to do that? Great. Also, given what is going on, would you mind terribly providing me a letter of recommendation? I would not feel comfortable listing Mary as a reference should I ever need one in the future."

    This should do the job of solving the problem, and while the sugar coating might make you nauseous it's designed to maintain a good reference.
    parent25's Avatar
    parent25 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member

    Sep 6, 2008, 04:21 PM
    Well so how long has it been since I posted this? Right, a couple months. Well its still not over. Received a call yesterday from a friend who finally stood up for me when she heard my boss talk about me to another employee. The "employee" had been out on vacation for past two months and was not aware of me leaving. Anyhow, just last week she returns and ask "my ex supervisor" where I was and how I was doing. She rolled her eyes, stopped all she was doing, sighed so loudly and turned to her and said... "welllll, she quit. Supposedly she got a job w/ the state but I know for a fact that is not true. She is at home. She quit so that she could get on welfare. Apparently her and her boyfriend were having problems too! She didnt even mention this to us. She made it seem like her life was just peachy. so yea she just quit." The other "employee" just stared in amazement at my ex supervisor. This was so not the answer she was expecting. Especially in such a "professional" atmosphere.

    Anyhow, my friend turned around (her desk is two feet away from my ex supervisors) and said "Where are you getting this from? I know for a fact that is not true! She has a job. She is not on welfare. For your information she also goes to school. She works at "(told her name of my current employment w/ state)" and I have seen her there and her badge and what difference does her situation w/ her boyfriend matter?"

    My supervisor then quickly bounced and said " yea well i have received many calls and you didnt hear what i heard...They were asking if she worked here..and it was from welfare office..and so on and so on...

    My friend said "yea, they have to verify employment. Every state job does a background check. What's the big deal?" I speak w/ her personally. I know all what you think is false.

    Supervisor then said " yea well I doubt that is true and if she is working with them, then they better be very lenient because she takes 1 1/2hr lunches"

    My friend then said, "yea they are very lenient (sarcastically) and I'm sure she is loving it.

    In the meantime, the other employee who innocently asked where I was just stared bug eyed at them both as she realized what was going on. She simply walked away afraid to get into a quarrel... She had no clue what just happened.

    My ex supervisor just turned around and faced back into her desk saying nothing. Unfortunately, my friend's hours were cut by 50% the very next day.

    SO... ok when is this ever going to end. It really makes me sick. And if I was such a bad employee, why was I never repromanded? I was never written up? Never informed that I was taking "long lunches!"... Right, like I could really get away w/ doing that??

    So anyhow, that's the update.

    I tried calling my ex supervisors boss. The owner who I liked and got along w/ very well... Unfortunately, she was on another call and I had to leave a message. I have yet to receive a call back.

    If she doesn't call back, I think I will drop it. I don't want to waste anymore energy on this.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
    Ultra Member

    Sep 7, 2008, 01:35 PM
    Dropping it is probably the right thing to do because these things rarely end well I've found. Unfortunately poor ethics are rampant in business, and I find that the more ethical people are, the worse they are treated in the business world. May sound cynical but I have found it to be true not only for me but for my very ethical friends. Corrupt people will stop at nothing to maintain their corrupt and often work-avoiding ways. These people get promoted on the backs of the people they disparage and I don't think they are taken to task very often by employers.
    pready's Avatar
    pready Posts: 3,197, Reputation: 207
    Ultra Member

    Dec 21, 2008, 05:57 PM

    You can gather evidence against your previous boss and file a Defamation of Character lawsuit against that person.
    spanglish30's Avatar
    spanglish30 Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Jan 24, 2009, 11:00 PM

    I'm sorry to hear you went through all this! I get so mad when I hear nice people being stomped upon.

    Kudos to your friend!! Hopefully you two can go have lunch together.Not many people will stand up for others anymore.
    Rhiannnonn's Avatar
    Rhiannnonn Posts: 62, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member

    Sep 18, 2009, 05:42 AM

    Look, I know that this won't help much, but at this point, I'm just trying to throw in some moral support (I've been in similar situations myself). It doesn't just happen between women.

    Round about the beginning of the Depression, my grandfather was working for a camera company that is now out of business. At one point, he designed a 35mm and a 8mm movie that kept the company in business. (When I was in high school, I took a photography class and after hearing that story, the teacher found grandfather and the cameras in a photography encyclopedia and showed it to me. As if I needed proof of my grandfather's stories -- people who knew him came closer to bragging about what he'd accomplished than he did.)

    When grandfather had to find a different job because the camera company couldn't afford to pay him enough to keep his family fed as the Depression came on, he couldn't understand why people he was applying for a job with were speaking to him badly after they checked his references. He got a friend to call, pretending to be a potential employer. That was how he found out that the camera company was giving him a bad reference based solely on the fact that he was forced to look for a job that would pay enough to feed his children.

    I agree with Spanglish about your friend.

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