Asked Aug 5, 2011, 10:37 PM
I recently changed jobs, joining an organization which seemed to be very impressive from the research I did and the interview process. However, starting the first hour of the first day, I have found my boss to be absolutely insufferable. She's the most unpleasant person I have ever met in my life - I am not exaggerating, she is that bad.
She is a very disruptive force in the office generally. When she's not there everyone works well together, things get done, people are pleasant but focused and we're all able to just churn through work at a high level of quality with expedience. Then she arrives, and starts barking and yelling at all of us, throwing nonsensical instructions at us so we don't even know what the hell she's talking about, interupting our every thought, not letting us clarify her insane directives nor otherwise ask questions, not letting us help one another, not letting us do anything but be chaotic and confused and pissed off. I hate her like I've never hated anyone in my life.
I am a professional person with quite a bit of work experience and education and she speaks to me as if I just fell off the turnip truck and don't know my *** from my elbow. She is impatient that I don't know things like the passwords to get into systems I've never accessed before, or how to turn on her alarm system, which I've never used before. Today she yelled and screamed at me that I was "incompetent" and "entry level" because I needed "hand holding" to find a document she wanted me to find in the file - it was in her purse. She never apologized when it was discovered that she had it all the while - though she had berated me in front of the entire staff over it. She loses things constantly and blames others for it. She also called me stupid in front of a client yesterday.
I am trying to negotiate a return to the job I just left, which I normally would never do but I think it may be feasible, and this woman is such a pain in the ***, I can't see that I will last more than another day without telling her off. I am a very tolerant and patient person, but she is unrelenting. I have worked 11 hours every day of my first week on the job and now she's asked me to come in on the weekend, too. I offered to come in half of Saturday explaining I have a family memorial service in the afternoon and must leave at noon, so she yelled at me for not being "more available" and crabbed about me attending the funeral, not even having the basic human consideration to ask who had died or to say she was sorry that I experienced a loss. I already worked Monday through Friday - this is not a weekend job.
My question is this - until I can return to my former job, or find another job, what can I do to tolerate this situation? I've been pushed to the point of tears five days in a row, and have come close to telling her off a number of times as well. I spend my lunch time (a half hour - though I'm working 11 hour days) hiding in my car, praying for the patience to tolerate her for the rest of the day. I am literally praying the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary asking for the grace and patience to tolerate the suffering she inflicts on me and keep my mouth shut so I can keep the job to pay my bills.
Today, in addition to saying I cannot write (I have a journalism degree), an an "idiot" (because I couldn't find the document which she had the entire time), that I am "entry level" because on day 5 there are a few things I don't know how to do per her company guidelines, and so on, she also complained about how much she's paying me which I thought was the height of tacky. She is paying the same I earned at my former job. Further, instead of showing some appreciation for my overtime every day this week and coming in tomorrow, she said that it's only necessary because I'm "dumb and slow" and things take me longer. I'm actually working Saturday to help clean up messes that were there before I started and to assist her with a project which she screwed up and with which I had nothing whatsoever to do - had it started with me, it would have been organized and made sense from the beginning.
I went to my father, a business owner known for keeping his cool, for his advise. He has been a senior executive in several multinational corporations and I hoped he'd have some diplomatic solution in mind for me. He told me to see if I can get my old job back and then tell this woman privately that I'm leaving for only one reason - because she is an "f-ing *******". He said, 'You know, sometimes you just work for an ******* and you need to recognize it for what it is - she's an abusive train wreck and you can't fix it and have to leave".
The question is though, what should I do to avoid getting fired and avoid telling this woman where to shove it until I can either get my old job back or find a different job? I am at a loss. I am up in the late hours though I have to be in at 8 am tomorrow because I'm so upset that I have to spend four hours alone with her tomorrow. I'm having a full-fledged panick attack over it.