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    disco_monkey16's Avatar
    disco_monkey16 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 16, 2007, 06:20 PM
    Finding my biological mother or father
    I would like some help on trying to find my dad. My dad's name is Wayne Turman. And my moms name was Patricia Turman. But they got divorced when I was a baby, and I don't know my moms madien name is. I have two biological brothers, and I have a sister which lived with me. I told my foster parents, counsleor, and adopted apretns that I wanted to find them and they asked me questions and was like, what if they don't want to have anything to do with you? What if they are depressed because they gave you up. Or they don't watnt ogrow a relationship with you? And I said I just want to give it a try. I been looking but the only one I found was in Milton Florida. And I called that number but he said that he is not my father and he didn't have two sins or something like thast. I just would like some help. No one else is willing to help me I am 17 and I need to know where they are. Please email me back as soon as you can,
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #2

    Jan 16, 2007, 06:39 PM
    You ask many questions that can only be answered when you find your parents and all of them are real and honest questions. You will not ever know until you find them and ask.

    Since you know their names, would you know when or where they were married? There is a marriage license and that is a public record. On the license would be your birth mother's maiden name.

    What can the adoption agency help you with? Some of them, for a fee, will contact the parent(s) and tell him/her that you are seeking information and ask if they will allow the agency to give out their information. Catholic Family Services did that for my nephew (who was adopted by my brother and sister-in-law when he was two). He did find them and after meeting them, decided that he wanted nothing more to do with them.

    No doubt your original birth certificate is sealed so that is not feasible.

    There are websites and blogs devoted to adoptees wanting to find their birth parents and vice versa. There are even people who would search for you, for a hefty fee.

    I hope your adopted family and counselor can be supportive of your efforts. Partly they are worried for you, worried that you might be hurt or disappointed. They are looking at this from a protective angle. They could also be concerned that once you find these people, that you would have a conflict of emotion, or that you would forget them. It gets very complicated, as I am sure you know.

    I truly hope you have good fortune in your searches. Keeping your expectations realistic and remain cautious. Not everyone out there will have your best interests at heart.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jan 16, 2007, 08:39 PM
    Of course you do realise that the person you called could be and just lied to you, not wanting any of his past to show up at his door. This is much more common than you would ever know.

    You did not have or give a middle Int and I still did not see an @ age.
    I found 12 listed ( two may be duplicate) by that name on my first search here they are:

    WAYNE E TURMAN (Age: 57) LAMESA, TX LINDSAY L TURMAN
    BEVERLY G TURMAN View Details

    2 WAYNE M TURMAN (Age: 51) CROWN POINT, IN ISALLOVICH WAYNE TURMAN
    AGNES L TURMAN View Details

    3 WAYNE R TURMAN (Age: 66) MILTON, FL THOMAS O TURMAN View Details

    4 WAYNE C TURMAN RIVERSIDE, CA MARY M TURMAN View Details

    5 WAYNE S TURMAN (Age: 43) MIDLOTHIAN, IL
    DOLTON, IL View Details

    6 WAYNE TURMAN (Age: 66) MEMPHIS, TN
    BYHALIA, MS KENNETH WAYNE TURMAN
    GENE J TURMAN
    LAURA K TURMAN View Details

    7 WAYNE C TURMAN FONTANA, CA MARY M TURMAN
    TERESA L TURMAN View Details

    8 WAYNE E TURMAN (Age: 44) - OXFORD, ME View Details

    9 WAYNE E TURMAN (Age: 57) - LAMESA, TX View Details

    10 WAYNE TURMAN - RADCLIFF, KY View Details

    11 WAYNE TURMAN - RADCLIFF, KY View Details

    12 WAYNE TURMAN - DOLTON, IL
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #4

    Jan 16, 2007, 09:12 PM
    I thought that too, Fr. Chuck - the person she called who hung up could very well have been lying. Yes, it has happened before and like the saying goes, will not be the last time someone does that to another person.
    disco_monkey16's Avatar
    disco_monkey16 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 17, 2007, 03:44 AM
    I don't think my paretns could live in Il, TX, last time I heard from them they were in Polk County , Fl. I got tooken away from them when I was 5 yers old. I don't know anything about them except for my brothers names, my moms name before she got divorced, and I know my biological dad's name. I don't know there age. But I know he may still be in state. Probably.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Jan 17, 2007, 07:31 AM
    Only that one listed showed up in FL, but people do move quite often all around the nation.

    But yes shygrneyzs a lot of time people, esp the fathers, who had chidren and gave them up for adoption don't want contact, that is why they gave them up in the first place. Often they have new wives, new girlfriends ( or both) and have never told them about the past family and a memory from the past showing up is not what they want.

    And even worst many I talk to every year hear that yes I am so what, and get cursed out and told all sort of horrible things.
    I am sure there are many of the great meetings like you see on Oprah and other TV shows, but I often wonder if the TV cameras were not on, if they would have been the same, or how many they had to look up to find the nice ones they showed on TV

    Where the brothers adopted ? If not would they have the same last name ?
    AYB91087's Avatar
    AYB91087 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 17, 2007, 06:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by disco_monkey16
    i would like some help on trying to find my dad. my dad's name is Wayne Turman. and my moms name was Patricia Turman. but they got divorced when i was a baby, and i dont know my moms madien name is. i have two biological brothers, and i have a sister which lived with me. i told my foster parents, counsleor, and adopted apretns that i wanted to find them and they asked me questions and was like, what if they dont want to have anything to do with you? what if they are depressed because they gave you up. or they dont watnt ogrow a relationship with you? and i said i just want to give it a try. i been looking but the only one i found was in Milton Florida. and i called that number but he said that he is not my father and he didnt have two sins or something like thast. i just would like some help. no one else is willing to help me i am 17 and i need to know where they are. please email me back as soon as you can,
    My name is Ashley and I may be able to help you. You may email me at [email protected] if interested. I am 19 and when I was 8 I fount out my dad wasn't my dad, but that my biological father lived in TX. And 4 years ago I FOUNT HIM!
    Don't loose hope- and it is always worth it
    disco_monkey16's Avatar
    disco_monkey16 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jan 18, 2007, 06:46 PM
    No my biological brothers were never adopted. There last names are turman.

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