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    FOBTiffany's Avatar
    FOBTiffany Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 24, 2013, 06:24 AM
    Husband in Camp Pendleton brig. Help!
    My husband got put into the brig in Camp Pendleton last Thursday and I have not gotten contacted about anything that is going on. Is there anyway I can get information about what is going on in his case? He went AWOL for the 2nd time in December and now it is April and he is in the brig. He served 6 days in the county jail and then now it has been 7 days in the brig. I am also wondering what experienced marines or other military members think is going to be his conviction since he went AWOL twice and then got picked up by the cops the second time the first time he turned himself in and got a NJP and put back into his unit. He was not trying to escape war. He just wanted to be with his family instead of being gone all the time and causing me distress. Also he has an injury with his left knee and was put on light duty for the past year that he was in the marines. People were making fun of him like little high school boys and he got fed up with it. Please no negative comments. I understand that some of you see this as a crime and as for the crime he should be punished but in my eyes he has a dream and wants to fulfill the dream of having a family with out the military being involved. Thank you all for the good advice.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Apr 24, 2013, 07:12 AM
    Sorry to tell you... but you don't get to dictate what kind of answers you get... you agreed to that when you joined. It was in the Site rules and terms of service.

    Fact is he joined the Marines on his own free will... he signed a legal contract and his duty is first to the Marines and second to his family. He doesn't get to decide otherwise. It became on obligation and not a choice as soon as he was sworn in. That's why he is in the brig.

    When you are in the military... you are REQUIRED to be come a team player... his life and the lives of everyone in his unit are at risk if he isn't. Its called unit Coheasion... and everyone else is right in bringing pressure down on him for not doing as told. In the Military... what one person does effects everyone else in his unit... and no doubt has.

    What he actually ends up with... will be the decision of JAG. And his previous conduct... or misconduct in this case.. will play a large part in it.

    If he ends up with a bad conduct or dishonorable discharge... its going to effect his ability to get certain types of jobs for life... and in any case might keep him from getting many others as well... because if it comes down to two equally qualified candidates... one who served honorably... and one that got thrown out... guess which one gets the job.

    His arrest record will also follow him for life...

    But what he will get... at this point is a subject of guessing... because there are a number of outcomes possible.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #3

    Apr 24, 2013, 07:15 AM
    The excuses you post here will not help him. The thing about wanting to have a family without the military involved? That's kind of silly, don't you think? How long was he supposed to be in for? He could have just waited until his tour was up. He wasn't drafted... he went into this voluntarily... so there was really no excuse for him to go AWOL twice. I think he's set himself up for some big problems.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Apr 24, 2013, 07:39 AM
    A documented wife should be able to find out his status. You don't say whether you called them or not.
    You are bound to get slammed by anyone you ask online about what will happen. Your reasoning about his 'dream' is indeed childish and irresponsible. I don't know what JAG will do, but I wouldn't be surprised by a dishonorable discharge.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Apr 24, 2013, 07:58 AM
    Sounds like you are not a good military wife, who understands his duty and put too much pressure on him to be home. You post shows no understanding of real life and is very childish in its nature.

    Most possible some time in brig and a dishonorable discharge is most likely. He will be represented at the hearings. You do not just leave to be with family, he is showing no respect for the uniform he wears.
    FOBTiffany's Avatar
    FOBTiffany Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 25, 2013, 01:14 PM
    You guys are so funny (: he called me last night he is getting out in 30 days with a silt and other than honorable discharge. Thanks for trying to bring me down but my God takes care of me and my husband. When I ask I shall receive.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #7

    Apr 25, 2013, 01:29 PM
    If you say so...
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #8

    Apr 25, 2013, 02:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by FOBTiffany View Post
    You guys are so funny (: he called me last night he is getting out in 30 days with a silt and other than honorable discharge. Thanks for trying to bring me down but my God takes care of me and my husband. When I ask I shall receive.
    That less than honorable discharge is going to haunt him forever... so will the record of his arrest... he's going to find that out as soon as he tries to get a job... and if he lies about them... its grounds for firing when they do find out... no matter how long that is.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #9

    Apr 25, 2013, 05:31 PM
    Why do you think we are funny? This is a very serious situation. I don't know whether you married before he enlisted or after. But the others have been right on. He made a commitment when he enlisted. Did he ask for a release? Going AWOL was not the answer and his less than honorable discharge will haunt him for the rest of his life.
    FOBTiffany's Avatar
    FOBTiffany Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 26, 2013, 05:01 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    Why do you think we are funny? This is a very serious situation. I don't know whether you married before he enlisted or after. But the others have been right on. He made a commitment when he enlisted. Did he ask for a release? Going AWOL was not the answer and his less than honorable discharge will haunt him for the rest of his life.
    I married him after he enlisted. It's not my fault he went AWOL. And I think you guys are funny because you are wishing bad things upon my marriage when I know that God will take care of us and we will be just fine. Apparently you guys are the ones all the women complain about that their boyfriends fiancÚs or husbands will not spend time with them. My husband loves me. I have a good job and no matter what I will stick beside him whether he is jobless or not. I can provide for us? I am a women and there is nothing a man can do that I can't.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #11

    Apr 26, 2013, 05:08 AM
    What's 'funny' is how you started your post with 'help!' and ended with God and you providing for your husband.
    FOBTiffany's Avatar
    FOBTiffany Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Apr 26, 2013, 06:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    What's 'funny' is how you started your post with 'help!' and ended with God and you providing for your husband.
    Meaning advice on what I could do to help. Or the possibilities of what could happen? I can't tell the future. And all I know is after this is all done I will be with my husband. There was no advice giving to me. I don't know much about the military so I was asking for someone to tell me more about the situation. That is why I asked for people who are military members to answer my question. What u are saying to me is pure disrespect and to me a man in the military (if you even are in the military) should respect women. Because military wives are most of the men's support. I support my husband in whatever dicession HE made. So I did my part and I'm going to defend him no matter what u say about him. If your loved one was in jail wouldn't you want to find out how you can help? Or what you can do to find out what is going on with them?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #13

    Apr 26, 2013, 06:44 AM
    What disrespect? We were all trying to tell you that a wife can do nothing about a husband in the brig and having 2 AWOLs. And you never answered my question about picking up a phone to find out what was going on.

    She can't even hire an expensive lawyer, which is the usual advice for someone in civilian jail. We were right about the discharge.

    The disrespect here is his and yours towards his job. He was being PAID wages to be trained and prepared, and to be shipped out at a moment's notice. He doesn't get to sign up for paychecks and then write his own rules.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #14

    Apr 26, 2013, 06:48 AM
    So you really consider yourself a military wife? I mean, I guess TECHNICALLY you are right now but really, I would think that only applies to people that are married to someone that actually participates in the military... not ones who sign up and go AWOL twice and are about to be dishonorably discharged. Anyway...


    Quote Originally Posted by FOBTiffany View Post
    And I think you guys are funny because you are wishing bad things upon my marriage when I know that God will take care of us and we will be just fine.
    I read the responses again... I don't see anywhere that anyone was wishing bad things on you and your upstanding military guy. I see where we were all saying that he was likely to be in trouble.

    Apparently you guys are the ones all the women complain about that their boyfriends fiancÚs or husbands will not spend time with them.
    Not only is one of the responders in this thread a woman (which shoots your theory right down) but there is a difference between committing yourself to the military and following through with that and going AWOL to supposedly spend time with family. There are plenty of guys over seas who deal with this every day. Do you think they want to be over there away from their families? Do you think that makes them a bum that doesn't care about their families? No, it makes them someone that committed to doing something for the greater good, and following through with it... not some whiny baby that uses family time as an excuse to try to get out of the military. EVERY single person in the military has family to go to... yet they have the pride and the inner strength to follow through with what they volunteered for.

    Me? If I was in your position... I would be absolutely ashamed.
    FOBTiffany's Avatar
    FOBTiffany Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Apr 26, 2013, 06:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    What disrespect? We were all trying to tell you that a wife can do nothing about a husband in the brig and having 2 AWOLs. And you never answered my question about picking up a phone to find out what was going on.

    She can't even hire an expensive lawyer, which is the usual advice for someone in civilian jail. We were right about the discharge.

    The disrespect here is his and yours towards his job. He was being PAID wages to be trained and prepared, and to be shipped out at a moment's notice. He doesn't get to sign up for paychecks and then write his own rules.
    Yes I understand that but as a person living in the United States if I want to quit a job I can. By just walking out. I don't even have to say "I quit" that is exactly what he did but he got arrested. As in disrespect of saying "this is the Internet we can post whatever we want" and since you are posting what you want I am postin what I want. So I now found out what is happening. It's the facts because he has a lawyer and it is the law that he has a lawyer for his trial.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #16

    Apr 26, 2013, 06:51 AM
    You wasn't given any advice? You have two pages of advice.

    All of it was accurate. Joining the Armed Forces isn't like joining the boy scouts... you can't simply leave or do what you want when you want.

    Respect your superiors... for an elinsted man... thats essentially everyone. Meaning people above you are entitled to your respect... and you don't get to define what respect is... its defined for you. And incidentally... spouses actions and even their children's actions can cause problems for or make existing problems far worse for that service member. I've seen it happen numerous times. I've known the people it happened to... Spouses wreck promising Military carreers all the time. And it applys equally to the cases where the woman is the service member as well.

    There is the kind of support he needs as a service member from his spouse and family... then there is the kind of suport that he doesn't and encourages him to do things against his best interest... I think this is a case of the latter beased on your own words and comments.

    And that was on a US Army base... the Marines take things even more seriously than all other branches will. And for good reason... they wouldn't have earned the reputation and respect they have if they didn't hold themselves to a higher standard.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #17

    Apr 26, 2013, 06:51 AM
    Quitting a job is not the same as quitting the military... it shows your lack of intelligence by even trying to compare the two.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #18

    Apr 26, 2013, 06:59 AM
    The military is a contract for a certain term, because it includes TRAINING while being paid!
    It's ludicrous to compare it to quitting other jobs.
    He has a MILITARY lawyer. You don't have the option to hire your own lawyer the way you would to get better defense than a public defender for a civilian crime.

    Arrgh. Feels like kindergarten.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #19

    Apr 26, 2013, 08:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by FOBTiffany View Post
    Yes I understand that but as a person living in the United States if I want to quit a job I can. By just walking out. I don't even have to say "I quit" that is exactly what he did but he got arrested. As in disrespect of saying "this is the Internet we can post whatever we want" and since you are posting what you want I am postin what I want. So I now found out what is happening. It's the facts because he has a lawyer and it is the law that he has a lawyer for his trial.
    That is not accurate. If you sign an employment contract, then you cannot just walk out. And that is what you do when you join the military. You sign a contract! And that is what is behind most of our advice. Your husband signed a contract. If he decided he did not want to fulfill the terms of that contract there are legal means available to him to terminate that contract. He did not avail himself of those legal means, he walked out which was against the law.
    smearcase's Avatar
    smearcase Posts: 2,392, Reputation: 316
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    #20

    Apr 26, 2013, 12:23 PM
    From: MILITARY JUSTICE FACT SHEETS

    Right To Counsel. An independent military defense counsel is provided free of charge regardless of the accused's ability to pay. The accused may also employ civilian counsel at his or her own expense, or request a particular military counsel, who will assist the accused if reasonably available. The accused has the right to be represented by counsel at the magistrate hearing when a determination is made regarding continued pretrial confinement, at the Article 32 investigation, and during all court-martial sessions. After trial, the accused has a right to free military counsel to assist with his appeal through the military appellate courts, and potentially to the U.S. Supreme Court.

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