[bejing8888]

I have just started dating a 68 year old man. I visited his apartment. He has lived there for 4 years, and cannot decide whether to buy a home or condo, or what to do.

The house is a disaster! Bed never made, toilette bowl not flushed, boxes and stuff stacked up everywhere. Also, he does not own a TV, no home internet connection, no landline. He says he lives like this because he is close to work, and hasn't decided where he wants to live. I also must mention that the few times that I have met him, he has kept me waiting for 2 hours each time.

He has asked me to clean up his place (he will pay me) and look for him another place to live. Of note, he is clean, and well groomed, and seems to be very successful in his business. He is educated, friendly, good sense of humor, respectful. How can anyone live like this in 2008? What does this mean? I have never seen anything like it.

[liz28]

He might just be untidy when it comes to cleaning his house and don't how to call when he is running late. He sounds very unorganize. Has he ever been married? The reason I ask is because he might had been used to his wife doing these things, taking care the house, etc. Maybe if you have time and willing you can help him become organize.

[simoneaugie]

A 68-year-old man, living without the internet may not be that big of a deal, he grew up without it. No landline or TV? He isn't into television and saves money by not paying for a land line that he does not need.

Living in a total mess and not flushing the toilet is certainly a red flag. Taking four years to decide where to move? He has trouble both making and acting on his own decisions and taking care of himself. At this point the reason or personal issue is unclear.

Do you want to look after him? If he isn't willing to look after himself, he wants someone to do it for him. Being his partner would be unbalanced. Living with him would probably end up being the strange combination of directing him and being somewhat manipulated.

What personality disorder does his behavior suggest? Peter Pan?

[MsMewiththat]

You wrote about the person that is always late over two hours. I would have to honestly say that this person is disfunctional. These are clues to you. Does any of this behavior attract you more? Run, not your problem. Narsasitic, not to mention that he obviously is very used to people doing things for him and may be the oldest teenager in the world. Some of that behavior sounds familiar but I have a teen age boy. I work day and night to break him of this stuff. It's called home training. Possible that his mother didn't succeed in training this one and he got away with it, then the older you getthe harder it is to unlearn that poor behavior. Is he divorced?

[lsmith2201]

Why are you attracted to him? Are there other people in your life like this? Unless you are looking for a project you would be better off walking aways before you have some reason why you can't.

[Gemini54]

Run like the wind! This man doesn't want a GF, he wants a mother or a maid.

Can't decide where to live, lives in a pigsty, can't get rid of stuff, is always incredibly late. (By the way, don't ever wait for someone for more than 15-20 minutes - next time, if he hasn't contacted you, go home.)

If these things bother you now, imagine how you'll feel in 6 months.

What does this personality disorder indicate? Chronic procrastination.