[chelocs14]

My friend is 14 and her boyfriend is 16 and keeps hitting her. He is also known to hit people. I'm worried about her because she like him too much she can't see that side of him can you tell me what I should do
:confused:

[needyhelpy]

In no way shape or form should your friend allow her boyfriend to hit her. Have you told her to break up with him? Get a restraining order. Talk to her parents? I will tell you a sad story so you can realize the urgency. I had a dear friend and her boyfriend hit her. She married him and the abuse escalated. I would take photos of her black eyes and offer to take her to the police. She would always chicken out and go back with him. Eventually I lost contact with her. A few years later I picked up the paper and he shot her and turned the gun on himself. At such a young age, it will be difficult to get her to understand this is not acceptable and often time themselves esteem is so low that they think they deserve it and did something wrong. You may lose a friend, but tell her parents, talk to a counselor at school and give her name and say she needs help. Talk to the police. Go talk to a battered woman's shelter and ask for suggestions. She may resent you, but you may save her life or save her from a lifetime of abuse. Good luck and my prayers are with you. (((hugs)))

[liz28]

What does her parents say, if they know? They should know about this because its unhealthy, both of them should not be together.

[taytortot]

No guys shouldn't hit her at all!! That is mean u have to tell this is a bad thing he's going to hurt u tel her he doesn't even love her!! She needs to stay away even how much she likes him!

[mimi03]

You should tell an adult!
Im not sure of your relationship with your parents but if you can, tell them and have them contact her parents about it or if you are comfortable with her parents tell them... If she has an older, responsible brother or sister tell that person. You could even tell a responsible or caring teacher at school.

It can only get worse if an adult doesn't know about this to step in to stop it!

You seem like a smart, caring friend if she doesn't understand that you are stepping in to help, maybe she will later but the most important thing is saving her from herself and this situation or at least shining a light on the problem...

*Best Wishes*

[KalFour]

I'd normally say that she has to first WANT to get out of the relationship, so focus on that and try to convince her that it's unhealthy.
But she's so young... it might be better to intervene. If she doesn't do anything to stop it, you should probably report it. Anonymously to a teacher or counselor if you'd rather she didn't know. Otherwise, talk to him, her parents, even the police. But make sure you're there for her, as this will obviously be difficult for her.
A lot of women in this situation simply don't want to be rescued. They are often convinced that love will conquer all, and be unable to bring themselves to leave.
I hope that she will see sense before her situation becomes too dangerous.

All the best,

Kal

[marrianne_j]

I have dealt with an abuse relationship. It is hard to get out of. I loved him and even after he hit me he would apologize and blame me for him doing it. When I got the guts to fight back it caused him to almost break the neck at one time. I didn't realize until after I was almost seriously injured that he really didn't love me. Try not to push her to leave him, it might just push her away from you, but try to sit and talk with her whenever she'll allow and make sure she knows its not okay and that she can find better she young!!

[f104]

You need to bring this up to those who can offer assistance and get her out of this situation. No man should ever hit a woman, never. There is never any excuse for it.

[Fr_Chuck]

Tell your parents, tell her parents, tell his parents

[Morteza]

Just go and tell her parents to lock her until she get out of this phase! She won't survive unless you tell her parents to force her and lock her up for a while! IF her parents are logical guys you can tell them easily to help their children!
In this situation just force works for her!

I think she is so stupid that loves that stupid cucumber, if you really really love her just try to help her!

[talaniman]

Tell her parents PDQ!!

[Sonador101]

Yes, I agree with all the people here tell a parent or a teacher, if you tell a teacher they are required by law to report the abuse to the authorities. You need to get her out of there, a man hitting a women, there is never and exuse for that. Only explantions, but you need to help her, she needs help now.

[timidwolfchild]

You should tell someone, even though she may hate you for it. Soon she will learn that you did the best thing for her. She is your friend and she should know that you care for her. Don't let the fear of losing her as a friend stop you from telling someone, before you lose her from the world.

[Boristheblade]

I would say try and make her see the severity of what she is allowing to happen to her, but she is unlikely to listen and heed your advice, as many victims of abuse (especially young ones) tend to do. Talk to her and give her time to leave her boyfriend, if she doesn't... take further action.

So the best thing is probably to tell her parents. She will probably be angry at you initially, but will be thankful when she is free from and recovered from her abuse. If you really care about her, you should be willing to make the sacrifice of having her be angry at you to make sure she's safe in the long-run.

[mafiaangel180]

Yep, I would tell someone asap! (Your parents, her parents, his parents, the school guidance counselor) You definitely need to rally a support system -- people who will take action.