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Lotz_of_Questions · Apr 12, 2007, 03:28 PM

:eek: Ok so I think I have a problem. :eek:
I have been married for 2 years. I have frequent problems with my husband.
I think I'm a selfish person and also I forget things. Like when we are arguing, I stay quiet. He asks me what I think about the stuation and I can't remember what we are fighting about. It's so hard to explain. But it's frustrating because my husband thinks I just want the easy way out of the problem. And that's not it. I just forget what we are fighting about. Or I forget the last thing he said. :eek:
I am sometimes very selfish. I think about myself more than about him. When we fight I sometimes say to myself 'ok OK get over it it's not going to be the end of the world' or just things like that, that I shouldn't be thinking when my husband is upset. Please help. Am I the only weird one? What can I do to stop this? I don't want to have anymore problems with my husband because of me.:eek:

manimuth · Apr 12, 2007, 04:16 PM

Well, I think that you forget what your husband was saying or what you were fighting about because you weren't paying attention to any of it anyway.

There seems to be a communication problem between you and your husband. It's either non-existent or not effective because you tune him out and he doesn't understand what is actually going on with you. So, I recommend you see a therapist or counselor. Individually and together. You need a third party to help you see what is going on.

chuff · Apr 13, 2007, 07:11 PM

My ex used to make fun of me for this I liked it and thought it was a great idea. Much like you I lose my train of thought during arguments so I would write my points down on paper. That way when the argument stirs into something unrelated you can bring it back to the topic at hand.

BlakeCory · Apr 14, 2007, 10:13 AM

When he is finished talking instead of making your own point repeat what he said and what you think he meant. Doing this will help develop your communication skills and will help you focus on what he is saying. He will know that you are trying to listen and understand him.

When you don't listen to what he is saying he feels disrespected. Respect is as important as air to any man. Woman need to feel loved, men need to feel respected. If you still have problems listening ask him if he feels respected. If you do respect him his words and feelings will be important to you.

If you don't respect him you need to find out why and resolve any past issues and emotional wounds. You have made a big step admitting your selfishness. You must love him if you really want to make him happy and become a better wife. Find a therapist or counselor to get you moving in the right direction.

God Bless.