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jaden1 · Jun 11, 2009, 08:27 PM

How do I stop being so angry all the time? Little things can set me off and I get so frustrated and before I can stop it I get angry. How can I change that?

simoneaugie · Jun 11, 2009, 09:15 PM

Anger, although it doesn't seem like it, is fear. The little things that set you off are threats to your safety or good feelings in some way.

If you are tired of getting angry, ask yourself what you are afraid of. Then, look at your expectations. Throw them out. Take life as it comes with drama, late people, your favorite shirt smelling moldy when you're about to go out...

You have surely heard the saying, "don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff." It is small. The last time you got angry, what were the circumstances? How old are you?

doesntwantit26 · Jun 18, 2009, 06:03 AM

My opinion is there is a deeper issue for you getting angry and frustrated all the time. You need to figure out what that is. I used to be the same way come to find out there was an underlying reason[s] for my anger and frustration, that came out on everyone and everything. Have you tried talking to someone?

tlsettle · Oct 10, 2010, 07:07 PM

I get so angry, SO jealous of my boyfriend looking at other women I can't stand it. I harbor it and hold a grudge for days and hate myself for it all at the same time. My problem is getting worse and I wonder if I should seek mental help from a therapist or at least talk to my dr about it. I'm not normally like this it's gotten to the point I go off the deep end at least once a week. It's little things that trigger it, but it usually boils down to me feeling like no one respects me or my feelings or that other people just don't care about my feelings. Men look at other women, though granted not two or three times blaintaintly. Teenagers all can be callous and smart-alec very often I know these things but my fuse has gotten so short here in the last year that I snap. I have put on a good bit of weight( I was around 170lbs and am now at 195lbs.) I have had some other health issues come on recently too and know half my problem is insecurity and self esteem but sometimes I get in such a rege I cry and seriously want to strike out physically or just leave all together. It is overwhelming to the urge to end it all sometimes. I suffer from depression but do not take meds, does anyone else out there think this may be more than depression? Could I be bi-polar?

leftblindside · Dec 30, 2010, 01:23 AM

I have the same problem as you getting angry all the time, sometimes its because something has happened to you maybe a life changing experience (I think that's my problem) or your to tence maybe from over working and sometimes its to do with age
That's answer so I hope it helps
But maybe you should talk to someone about it

sherlockholmies · Apr 10, 2011, 07:51 PM

I'm actually crying and very angry right at this moment.\ whenever u get really angry or frustrated either:
1: pray to god
2: get your mind off it and do something else, like watch TV play on the computer, or maybe video games.
3:think about sommeone u really look up to, how would he/she handle?

ramona_ · Apr 11, 2011, 11:31 AM

You can't just "stop" being angry overnight so I suggest you put your anger into a sport or hobby and perhaps take anger management classes. I took up boxing when I was fifteen to help control my anger, it helped me a lot! At least then it is controlled and you're not at a serious risk of hurting someone, getting arrested or hurting yourself. Anger management can help you control your feelings and push you to express them in other ways; drawing, sports, painting, writing, etc. and it can also give you ways of calming down in that "spur of the moment"; going for a walk, breathing slowly or clicking your fingers. You will find a way that suits you, good luck.

AnOllyFan · Oct 18, 2011, 01:50 PM

I get really angry all the time and I just can't seem to stop myself. I'm way too stubborn to actually apologise and I end up doing things that I seriously regret, I have hurt myself and other people around me I don't mean to be violent its just the way that I happen to release my anger, but once I have done it I feel really bad and again I am too stubborn to say sorry. I keep pushing the people I love and care about the most away and I'm surprised that they have stood by me this long. I am 15 years old and I have been aggressive and angered since I can remember people I have known have told me stories about me trying to seriously harm members of my family I haven't been through with it all the way I have always been stopped before I got too out of control, I'm not an emo and I don't self harm as such like slitting my wrists although I have overdosed twice successfully and a third unsuccessfully I haven't ever told people about this in case they think that I am crazy or try to send me to have help, but then again no one has actually listened to me and tried to help me calm down I have this thing about ripping things and pulling out individual strands of hair out when I am really annoyed then I sit and cry any ideas how I can stop and why I do this?
My feelings go out to you all who are in the same or similar positions and thank you to the people who are actually trying to help.

Meg2012 · May 15, 2012, 10:07 PM

You know my only problem is that I have a lot of stress in my life. Whenever my mom or my sister talks to me I get really frustrated over little things and I really want to stop. I don't get really angry I just get frustrated. I'm 13 and at school people have tried to beat me up over rumors and I' average and can hold my own but my parents are divorced and I kind of want to let it all out so any tips for not getting frustrated?

AlwaysImproving · May 25, 2012, 03:29 PM

Sounds like you need an assertiveness training book to help you, and to learn to listen to your heart more and say things out of your heart as often as possible instead of spewing out things from your mind( the only way to bless anyone in your life is to live out of your heart). You are going to have to start putting your offences onto a shelf in your mind(which means not meditating on them too much)You can designate a certain couple of hours a week to write down multiple possible solutions to those problems where you feel someone else and/or you did wrong(based on your assertiveness training book). You can keep revising the list of problem-solving solutions and goals as you progress in your knowledge of assertively handling your anger. This could take a while but give yourself forgiveness and time to improve. This has worked for me and I am still progressing.Remember to start over fresh every morning no matter what you may have failed at the day before. Here's a bit of wisdom: we tend to treat others just exactly how we treat ourselves deep inside.

mmileycyrusfan · Aug 26, 2012, 10:43 PM

Well my marks at school are average .im 12 years in high school and I'm in the top class. (not to show off). I'm in year 7. since my marks are average they wanted me to change classes and my parents and I said no. I have to improve my maths and science and english or else I am going to get kicked out next term. My mum is putting TOO much pressure on me I can't even focus on what I'm doing. She wants me to get straight A's and be the smartest kid in year 7. now I'm stressed out I even cry sometimes please help!!

save19251 · Aug 29, 2012, 11:44 PM

Anger is a normal human emotion Jayden. It is only a problem when it gets out of control. The best way to express yourself when you're feeling angry is in an assertive manner communicating your needs in an assertive way to the person who is the object of your anger. Aggression, passive aggressive behaviour and passive behaviours are all undesirable outcomes of anger. Suppressing your anger can also be detrimental to your well being.

Some options to take include counselling to help you with your anger such as anger management which will give you a tool box of coping strategies when you are feeling angry. Meditation classes might help you with feelings of anger and frustration. Internal martial arts activities such as ti chi might help you with your anger and frustration. Practising Yoga is excellent for your health and well being. Cognitive Behavoural Therapy might help. A boxing bag in your garage is a good idea for when you are feeling angry. Taking a look at your diet and improving your nutrition is also a good idea for your overall well being and emotional state. Avoiding alcohol, drugs and cigarretts might also help.Attendinng a self help group for anger might help.

Regards,

save19251

matrix20878 · Sep 23, 2012, 02:09 AM

Read: Necessary Losses: The Loves Illusions Dependencies and Impossible Expectations That All of us Have by Judith Viorst
Read: imperfect control by Judith Viorst
Read: Feeling Good by David Burns

Euqilegna123 · Oct 31, 2012, 06:32 PM

Well I have savier anger problems I get mad over the smallest things even my little brother talking to me I think I am also bypolar I switch moods I'm so used to taking my anger out anywere but now that I'm in a different environment I can't express my anger the usual way hitting things people furniture and I guess anything so Ive been looking for new way to release pain so I resorted to writing but as I wrote I got even angrier so I stabbed the paper then ripped it apart then I tried breathing I ended up exploding well I'm 15 years old and really need a way to just control my anger please help If you can thank you

usernameless · Nov 10, 2012, 08:34 AM

I have similar circumstances as you.. I don't know what to do either.. I'm 14. Parents are divorced, my mothers problems bury onto my shoulders and when my sister is rude to me she doesn't understand how I feel and treats me so cold... I go into her room and take what I can small doses of little things and use her stuff... sometimes mess up things that are important to her. I take her bracelets and bend them because I don't want to get violent. And then I throw it hard over the fence.. its so stupid but it helps and it shouldn't I just like seeing her frustrated too.. I don't know how to control myself I get so frustrated so easily and my friends get annoyed and they get mean and offend me but they don't understand.. they don't care.

mogrann · Nov 10, 2012, 08:52 AM

First acknowledge it is happening. It is what it is. Do not place judgements on it just use the facts.
Next break down what happened to contribute to it. See what is the issue that is starting it. Is it attached to a bad memory you have not dealt with, a fear or any other issue. Sometimes just doing this will be tough and anxiety provoking. Just acknowledge it is and do some deep breathing then go back to breaking down what is going on. Then you start figuring out what you want to do with this new knowledge. It is all your choice what you do. Usually with anger there is a secondary emotion attached. Try to figure out what is going on. You may decide to do nothing. Work on the issue yourself or get help working it out.
Make sure you are eating properly, getting enough sleep, getting enough exercise and limiting your use of mood altering substances. Those all contribute to our feelings and emotions going out of whack.

afifah2000 · Dec 26, 2012, 12:43 PM

I am a student and I am going to turn 13 in as couple of days and I also have anger management. I have been to two schools in one year and socail services have come into my over a little letter which were all my feelings and after all of this I have got help. Don't let little things get to because it may lead to situations that later on you will regret. This has happened to me many of times and my mum always goes into school and backs me up. Those people that love can only support you but once you leave them and live a life of your own you will only then realise how much they cared for you for the past years.

new_phoenix · Aug 21, 2013, 02:55 PM

I suspect that you might have a chemical imbalance brought about by consuming the neurotoxin known as Aspartame that was developed by the Pentagon. Do not consume chewing gum or diet sodas to name a few. I am trying to break my consumption of Aspartame myself but it is in so many food products. Good luck!!

Here is an informative YouTube video by Alex Jones from infowars.com: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wuol172fs-E.