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flanjivfur · Mar 14, 2006, 03:34 AM

How does one forgive a child when they have stolen from you and sold the items that never can be replaced ? I am just so hart broken from this, I know I shoudn't be so hurt but these were things that were my mother's,, she has been gone for 15 years now but it was all I had from her, and I know I have good memories of her that I will always have but still these were items of hers. :( I have spoken to my son about why he did this and I get no straight answer.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 14, 2006, 05:53 AM

Does he have a drug problem, where is is stealing things for money perhaps. Often in these cases there is no reason other than needing money.

But also we have to stop putting so much value on "things we have"
Yes he did wrong but your mother is gone ( her memory of course is with us) what you have in the physcial right now is your son. If you can not work out a relationship with hm, he will basically be gone to you also.

You have to remember the good and the blessings your son has been for you.

fredg · Mar 14, 2006, 07:48 AM

Hi,
Since your son didn't give any reason for stealing the items, it is probably needing money. There are many reasons for needing money. How old is your son?
I do hope it wasn't for drugs or alcohol.
Have you considered taking your son for Counseling?
Or, maybe just both of you talking with someone about this? He needs to know, from others, that this type of behavior is wrong. Some type of Counselor might be able to help. I do wish you the best.

phillysteakandcheese · Mar 14, 2006, 10:43 AM

I can relate - and I can tell you that they are just "things".

Right now you feel hurt and betrayed that your son had no respect for what that "thing" represented to you.

In time though, you'll still find reminders of your mother in - maybe even in your son - and you'll see that those particular "things" are not really that important after all.

If you haven't already done so. Tell your son how this makes you feel. Ask him outright if he has any empathy for how you feel.

Hopefully this can open a dialog with your son and you find out what the problem is - and help him.

flanjivfur · Mar 14, 2006, 02:55 PM

Thank you all for your support, this has happened to me years ago, the reason I posted this question because in the attic is were I had a lot of my mother's things mainly jewelry and her bride doll and my first bride from my first marriage. Well any how, I was going through some stuff I had up there that I want to sell at a yard sale and that's I realized our dolls were missing. I had all ready knew about the jewelry years ago but didn't even think about the dolls. They had been stored in a different place. He know how I fell about him stealing from me and he thought at the time that his friends were more important to get money so they could have their money,yes for drugs and alcohol. I guess I'll be hurt for awhile.

kp2171 · Mar 14, 2006, 03:17 PM

Sorry to hear this.

My wife's brother stole a piggy bank that belonged to her father that was filled with old coins and sold it for drug/alcohol money. Also forged his sig. to get into his fathers safety deposit box (father and son same name).

His whole life is just a repeat of these events... different items, diff people, but same idea. When her father passed he left all of his estate to my wife, with the intention of it specifically paying for the education of the grandchildren. Her brother just couldn't understand why he wasn't trusted with the money intended for his kids. Just sad.

I know her father let go of the anger, but always was saddened by the distance that these events created.

My wife tried very hard to find that piggybank but just couldn't.

So sorry for this to have happened.

fredg · Mar 15, 2006, 08:14 AM

Hi,
I am so sorry to read your post back to us. Being for drugs is not good.
My mother-in-law had much stolen from her, by her son, for the same reasons. It took her a long time to get over it.
If you can, please try getting it off your mind somehow. Things do happen that make us wonder why. I am 64, married 29 years, and still wonder why different things came about. Best wishes.