I think I have Social Anxiety Disorder... I haven't made any friends in over 20 years. Sure I have "acquaintances", but no one I would consider "friend". I have always considered myself "shy". I have trouble talking to people I don't know. I'm afraid what they will think about what I say or do. When I walk into a room full of people, it frightens me. Hours before going to a social event, I am so worried with fear of what they will think of me, I get nauseous, I shake, I get scared.
I want to make friends, I've joined theater groups to make friends, but I'm scared of what other people think, I try to avoid them so I won't have to talk to them, I won't have to think of something smart to say.
I have no friends I can talk anything out with, no one I can count on in my time of need. Yesterday I was feeling lonely, sad and depressed and I was crying. I decided my best friend from out-of-state would be the one to talk to so to make me feel better. Well, when I called her, she was so busy talking about the stuff in her life, I didn't get a chance to say what I wanted. So I called a couple of days later, feeling lonely, sad and depressed again, and wanting to talk. Well, her brother was on the other line with her, she said she would call back, and she did. When she called back about 15 minutes later (8pm my time, 9pm her time) her home phone was running out of charge, so she called me back on her cell phone, and since she has to pay for minutes, she asked if she could call me Monday,
I said that's okay, except I have a class from 6-8pm and won't be home until 10pm her time. Well, she said can I call Tuesday? Well, I of course said yes, what was I supposed to say? But I really needed someone to talk to at that time and I didn't know what to do. I also called my cousin whom I could talk to, but her voicemail came on, so I spent most of the evening just crying.
I would appreciate anyone with help they can give me.
I would like to tell my cousin and my only friend of my situation, but they don't seem to have time for me. I will seek professional help, but I need a friend to confide in and someone to give me a hug, or hold my hand, which a professional can't do.
Please help me!

I have been in this situation many times. I don't have too many friends either. I feel all alone and isolated a lot of the time. My family lives around me, but they all are wrapped up in their own lives. I can sympathize with you though because I cry myself to sleep a lot. Remember that God is there with you, even though you can't see him. When I get really down and out I pick up my bible and just open it up and start reading. You have to believe that something good will eventually happen in your life. (Like you will find your soulmate and never be alone again) If you ever need anyone to talk to you can e-mail me, I would be more than happy to chat with you. Hang in there, everything will work out!

Here's a BIG HUG for you!! You need one:) I'll be your friend! I have social anxiety disorder too... man, I hate it. I know what you mean... I'm scared of looking bad and saying something stupid when I'm around people. I stay in my room alm almost every day... I hate going out..
You really need someone to talk to. Try journaling too... this can help realse emotions. If everyone is busy, talk to a couselor... try to get close to friends... talk. Be strong.

You can get though this. Do what you love... try a new hobby. Believe that you can stop being so anxious. Try to get out there. Its not so bad.
Good luck!
If you need to talk I'm here! Hope you feel better :)

Hi Smitty,

How are you doing? I hope that you feel better right now. Don't worry, you're not alone. I feel the same way you do. My life is full of sadness and depression every since the day I was born. I don't know why my life is so unfair to me. Maybe I did something wrong in my past life to deserve the unfairness and sad things that's happening to me in this lifetime. I feel really lonely most of the time because I don't have any friends. I only have my boyfriend, he's my everything. He does treat me good, but he usually take me for granted. He made me cry and depress most of the years we've been together. Beside him, I don't have a happy or loving family. I feel really sad when I see kids who have loving parents. I feel so left out because I never have the right affectionate that I should deserve. If you need someone to talk to, you can always email me at [email protected]. I can be a really good listener if you feel comfortable and open up to me, you can share everything with me. I don't judge people. I know you're just like me, you need someone to be there and comfort you, listen to you. It's always good to tell your problem. Don't afraid to cry, let it all out. I always feel better after I cry.

Hi, I feel the same way too, most of the time, alone, lonely, sad, only maybe a few acquaintances and the people that I thought were my friends were not, I try to stay positive, but I feel like no matter what I say and do (because of my job) people argue with me, even my own clients... and I work by myself which just makes it worse... how do I meet other people... I had an abusive Dad which really affected myself esteem and self image and then a boyfriend that was emotionally and verbally abuse to me, at the time I didn't realize it but now I do... what a jerk and a mean person.. I try to tell myself that tomorrow is another day and pray about it, I even thought about joining or actually going to a gatherinig on meetup.com, signed up months ago, but still haven't gone to one meeting... I try to talk to my mom sometimes, but she's like Ms. Swan on Mad V sometimes and doesnot listen to a thing I have to say or only listens for a little while and then cuts me off so I have no one to talk to and it hurts, I dated another guy, but he turned out to be a conartists and a complete liar and bisexual or gay and wanted to watch me with other men... which I just couldn't believe... I have been looking through the internet and this is a common feeling, I us really wish I had a best friend. Someone to have areal conversation with, someone who didn't udge me, someome who when I call they pick up the phone and care.. and I have no one to call except my Mom who barely pays attention.. I think I have social anxiety disorder too, I just feel like people are going to gossip about me and attack me. Why does it have to be this way, why can't I just have a really good best :confused:friend... :confused:

Hi smitty... well what can I say... every single person answering your cry for help feels exactly the same... we all feel like we have no friends around us... we all feel down a and depressed on a daily basis... why the hell can't we all live near one another... we could all be understanding friends together!
I've felt like you and everyone else for as many years as I can rememeber,I did once have a happy life... but as the years go on,I feel rejected... a complete social outcast... I don't socialise at all anymore... and its all because I feel lonely... and don't have a descent friend 2 socalise with.
Its so easy for people 2 say... just get out there and enjoy yourself,but without a friend you cant... I am now seeking therapy,I'm hoping things will improve for me,I think you should do the same.. a chat with an unknown person will definitely help you... im here for a chat anytime... im glad I'm not alone and know other people feel as lonely as me... we,l be there for each other.. all my love and lots of hugs 2 you... and everyone else on here... xxx

Im 15 and I feel so lonely inside. I have a lot of friends. Like A lot. But I never really had that one special best friend that you can laugh and cry with.I really hope I'll find that one special friend someday :( I know how it feels like and what I did was. Cry and a wrote how I felt on a piece of paper and threw it away.
I just hope things get better for me. Being a lonely teenager is not the best thing. I guess I will never had that Happy Teenage Life.

Lots of hugs to you because I kind of need it too. Haha :D

Love, Farah.

Hi Smitty,

You are not alone, but you do absolutely need to talk to a doctor. I take something for generalized anxiety disorder and it changed my life. The reason I started was a fluke. I was watching late night tv- depressed and anxious- like always- and there was a special about Social Anxiety with Donny Osmond on it. He spoke about his symptoms and how debilitating they were. I didn't feel so alone and slowly started searching for answers. I was on the anti-anxiety meds for a while and then felt so good I went off them thinking I didn't need them anymore. At first, I was fine, but slowly I started getting depressed and anxious again. So, try to stay on them for a while. Also, you will need to find a good therapist! You can do this. Write down what you need to tell the doctor and therapist and bring it with you. Please, let this be a gift to yourself. Funny, I was on this site because I was feeling low, but I feel like I was meant to see your post. I am praying for you and sending you positive energy!! You can improve and the world is a friendly place. You need help and it's important that you seek it!
Me

Hey smitty , man cheer up , I offer myself as friend to you , you can email , and don't be shy man , I feel you , I'm living in country , that every body is bussy with his own life , so man email man , and we can talk for real , cheer up man , you are not alone in this world , every body is suffring from different proplems harder then that .

Life is too short to be depressed :).
We are insignificant beings in this universe, one day this short life will pass us and we'll regret what we never did when we had the chance. You have to think of it as if no one cares what you do and that's really the reality of it. You may boggle up all these emotions about what people will think of you, but the only emotion you really have is what you think of yourself.
The only way to become social is simply... practicing being social :). Get out there and Don't GIVE A **** about what people many think of you, just talk with people and try to make friends and see where it goes from there.

Hi
I am sad I am lonely and find even writing this is exposing myself to criticism. I think I have been coached at this way of thinking at a very early age. If we are taught a language that is how we communicate, bad luck if the language is not compatible with where you are.So how to learn this new language. This acceptance of ourselves to move forward . Its all so hard. Its like one step forward half a step back some times one and a half steps back.
There is so many people in this situation . It's the human condition the human mind in control on our true self. Some how controlling these emotions of sadness etc and focusing on positive things will help
Our body is not who we are our true beauty is deep with in but how to shine .jirri

Hi
I am sad and lonely too. I allways thought I was just shy (kinda like in a extreme way but still), and recently while looking over the internet all things about shyness, I start taking a look to the symthoms of social anxiety disorder, and I just realised that that's what I really have. I read it over and over and I just can't stop crying, I never thought I was this bad. I don't have any real friend that a could talk to, nor any in my family (they are really kind and everything, but I just don't know how to express my real self to them), so everyday I try to ask my mom to take me to a psychologist, but I think she doesn't worry that much about it cause she might think I'm just a little shy, and I really don't know how to tell her the truth. I'm scared, and could you imagine how a mother would feel if her daughter tells her that she has social anxiety disorder.
Anyway, I just want it to say it once (or at least write it), so that may be I'll fell a little better, so thanks for listening.

Hi Nanagirl =)

Don't worry, you are not alone. I am a shy person as well. I am not sure if I have anxiety disorder. I know for sure, there are many reasons I am not as going as the others. It's not that I am not a friendly person. It's just that I preferred to get to know someone before revealing who I am. I am not a touchy person who give hugs to everyone I see. I am very selective of who I chose to contact and be friends with. I am not the outgoing type who party every weekend or go to clubs. I am not close with my parents, I don't think they would care about my social life. For a point, I thought that I had social anxiety, but it's just that I don't have high confidence about myself. I fear that people judge me because of the way I look. People are so into looks these day, and it makes me uncomfortable to be out in public. I am always worry how they would look at me, and I know I don't have a supermodel figure. This tension make me feel award and reluctant to go out. Tell me more about yourself. Maybe I can help you interpret who you are. Or you can talk to me about anything.

Hey, I know exactly like you feel. =) If you ever need to talk to someone, you can email me or message me =) I can listen to you.

I used to feel an outsider for a long time. I used to think exactly what you though: that people would judge me. But then I decided to use the rules of the rolette in poker. If the person liked me, fine. If she didn't:next!
You have to think that way. 4 out of 10 people won't like you. You have to believe you'll find the other 6. You are for sure an interesting person. You have to know that. Try getting emails from the people you like more. Start talking on the web. Soon you'll get coffee with them and deepen your relationship.

LIVE LIFE talk to everybody about everything put your fears behind you and LIVE! I was the same way as a child. Now I am in my 30s and I can walk up to a stranger, start up a conversation, and make friends everywhere I go. You just have to put yourself out there... it doesn't matter what you look like or what race or religion you are. Just start talking. Find someone with similar intrests and go on. ;) I can be your friend if you like. Call me Andy... l8r friend

For the first time in my 63 years I am alone and having a hard time adjusting. I try not to feel sorry for myself but many life changes hit me all at once. My mother died then a brother, he was buried on my birthday one year ago. I lost my home to foreclosure, moved from Florida after 30 years and went to Kentucky to be with family. I found out it was not the same after so much time not being close to them. Now I am in Tennessee and feel another move was not the answer so must figure out how to live my life alone. I raised my children, a nephew, a grandson, a sister, and brothers so had a pretty full life. I will get professional help, maybe do some volunteer work, or take a writing class. I am having a very hard time and am anxious, sad and lonely often. I talk to God a lot, also try to think of advise my mother would give me. We must get through another one of the hurdles that life has presented us with. My thoughts are with you.

I also feel really lonely I have no friends, I talk to the people I see at lunch they hardly listen to me I try to fit in but no one listens, I get ditched and I'm left on my own the only hobby I got is the gym and I go there I have no one to talk to there either, once I thought I had a friend but nw he hardly talks to me :( its really depressin the friends that I used to have they all used me and when I have a friend I get so happy and over the moon and in the end they don't talk to me, I don't say anything horrible to anyone I be nice to everyone and comment nice things about what they are wearing and I cnt stick up for myself and I have really low self- esteem I don't know what to do I'm dyin for at least a best friend or a really good friend why is it so hard to get a friend! Everyone else has friends 😥 is there something wrong wiv me?? I need help plzzzzz I think something is wrong wiv me 😢😰

I know how you feel I have been sad for as long as I remember I've been married soon 18yrs and my hubby says he loves as the mother of his kids we have been true a lot together I keep hoping he will grow to love me the way he used to but have realised now that's not going to happen I love my kids and they are the only thing that keeps me alive I feel lonely and depressed and am on medication it is sad when there is no one to talk too I don't want to worry my family

Ollo,

I feel lonely too, but I don't seem to have the same problem with making friends. Sometimes though I just don't want to make any new friends or I don't feel like hanging out with them. You shouldn't be afraid to be you. Who cares what others think? They don't know you and if they don't want to know the real you, then they aren't worth the effort of a friendship. I could give a rats about what people think of me. I may not like myself all of the time, but it only matters what I think. You need to only care of what you think of yourself. Also, you don't have to go to big events or parties to make friends. I've made friends by talking to cashiers. You can make friends any where you feel comfortable. Good luck.

Hello,

Its very hard that when you are depressed and sad and realize there is no one that you can ask for a hug. Surprisingly I am able to make many friends and am surrounded by a close family but still feel somehow left out, like a black sheep in an ocean of white sheeps. Everyone just say what they want and get relaxed but no one's willing to listen to me. All my friends and family members pour their hearts out and I always try to help and support them but when I am down, no one has the time and think its important and that I will probably get over it soon.

I have tried being positive, being nice to even doormen, think happy thoughts and tried new hobbies. But now I get more and more depressed and cry daily to sleep.I am not even taking any medication and trying hard to avoid suicidal thoughts but its not working. The only that is stopping me is that I don't want to hurt my family.

Can anyone please help me?