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    drdradle's Avatar
    drdradle Posts: 45, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Aug 28, 2008, 09:57 PM
    Feeling lonely
    I don't know really where to begin at, first off sorry about spelling and punctuation I'm writing this kind of fast, anyway, this is pretty much how I have been feeling for a little while now. I don't think I'm really depressed or anything but I just feel really lonely, like I have nothing to do and no one to do stuff with, I feel like almost like I need a new girl friend, I still really miss the last one but I think I need to move on, the only thing with that is that I'm kind of picky, and I don't know if it really matters too much but I am a virgin and I would like to date another virgin just in the case that we do decide to go all the way, we both will be on the same level in that area. I really just don't know what to do though, I have many friends and I do hang out with them a good bit but I always end up feeling the same way, down and lonely, almost to the point of crying sometimes. Please help if anyone has any ideas it would be much appreciated.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Aug 29, 2008, 12:00 AM
    How old are you, please? It would help us to know that in order to address your question the best.

    When I was a teenager, I can remember many times feeling "lonely" and "out of touch" because I really didn't understand what to do with things that concerned my life, even though I had many friends and groups in which I was involved.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Aug 29, 2008, 12:56 PM
    I think we feel "lonely" if we don't have relationships in which we are our authentic selves relating with others. This may have happened to you... you had an authentic relationship with your girlfriend, but, all you other friends, you just are superficial with them, or have various degrees of superficiality.

    I think it is very difficult for teens to be authentic because of the merciless nature of the culture you kids have to live in. Plus, you are changing all the time, and often, you don't know who your are anyway.

    You need someone to be close to... someone you can make a healthy emotional connection with. A best friend... a girlfriend. YOu have to get out into life so you meet people...

    Very best wishes, :)
    SweetDee's Avatar
    SweetDee Posts: 534, Reputation: 51
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Aug 30, 2008, 09:52 AM
    It's good that at least you know what you want. Moving on to another relationship is always challenging at first but it's also so much fun. Having a girlfriend that is not a virgin may be a better idea.. she'll enjoy breaking in a virgin and you'll enjoy the experience the more. Just be honest w/ her about your being a virgin. (I broke in a vigin male twice! I loved teaching them the ways. It's sexy!). You sound like a very sensitive man... and that's the best kind of man! Try not to get too sad, you're just one of many people who really define themselves by the relationship they're in. Just meet people... and you won't be lonely for long.

    I would consider working on trying to be happy as a single person JUST FOR the sake of knowing you don't NEED someone, but WANT someone. Know what I mean?
    drdradle's Avatar
    drdradle Posts: 45, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Aug 31, 2008, 07:40 PM
    Thanks sweetdee, I think you really helped a lot, all of you did, thank you and I am 18, 19 in a month
    SweetDee's Avatar
    SweetDee Posts: 534, Reputation: 51
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Sep 4, 2008, 09:09 AM
    Your welcome drdradle. It'll be okay. Just remember, (cuz it's true!), that you're one of the good ones. I promise!
    BlakeCory's Avatar
    BlakeCory Posts: 236, Reputation: 21
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Sep 4, 2008, 09:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by drdradle
    I donít think Iím really depressed or anything but I just feel really lonely, like I have nothing to do and no one to do stuff with, I feel like almost like I need a new girl friendÖ I have many friends and I do hang out with them a good bit but I always end up feeling the same way, down and lonely, almost to the point of crying sometimes.
    The feeling of loneliness or emptiness can only be filled by what is missing. If you rush into dating someone just to feel better you run the risk of becoming emotionally dependent to her. You can become emotionally healthy without depending on someone else to care for you.

    Donít be afraid to be honest with the people in your life that love you. Isolating yourself from the world will only enforce the feeling of loneliness. Whenever I feel lonely I remind myself that that feeling only comes after I have rejected everyone in my life that loves me.
    LonleyFreak's Avatar
    LonleyFreak Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Sep 5, 2008, 04:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by drdradle
    i dont know really where to begin at, first off sorry about spelling and punctuation im writing this kinda fast, anyways, this is pretty much how i have been feeling for a little while now. I dont think im really depressed or anything but i just feel really lonely, like i have nothing to do and no one to do stuff with, i feel like almost like i need a new girl friend, i still really miss the last one but i think i need to move on, the only thing with that is that im kinda picky, and i dont know if it really matters too much but i am a virgin and i would like to date another virgin just in the case that we do decide to go all the way, we both will be on the same level in that area. i really just dont know what to do though, i have many friends and i do hang out with them a good bit but i always end up feeling the same way, down and lonely, almost to the point of crying sometimes. please help if anyone has any ideas it would be much appreciated.
    My story is just like yours my friend, I lost my girl last week 2 another lad... I tried to kill myself and at the time it felt good but daft and now most of the time I wish it had actually happened... I really miss my girl and I really don't av the strength to move on... its pretty pathetic I know but I was with her for like 2 years... I've already seen a lot in my life... my parents died when I was six... I've been in fostercare ever since and I'm happy where I am now but I always feel lonely and as though no one cares about me... I'm really worried and scared am only 16 and I'm feeling like this... help
    hybridtek's Avatar
    hybridtek Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #9

    Sep 8, 2008, 07:36 PM
    LonleyFreak that is amazing. If you have been through that much already, I'm pretty sure what is ahead of you can't be any worse then what you have already been through. I don't think I could get through that at that age and you are a very strong person for doing so I think. If you can get through something like that, I'm pretty sure you can get through anything man.

    Time heals all wounds I'm sure you've heard. After a breakup, and after another breakup, and after another breakup, after each one you will notice it just keeps getting easier to move on. Of course the first one is the hardest, but obviously now the worst part is over.
    chiradeep's Avatar
    chiradeep Posts: 68, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Sep 9, 2008, 06:03 AM
    Bro! Greetings!
    I felt the same way when I started working far away from my family before marriage for almost 3 years. So I can understand what must be happening to you. But in your case I think try to find out what makes you happy, like...
    1. Hobbies that gives you the maximum pleasure, writing, reading, etc
    2. Sports you enjoy the most... soccer
    3. Social work which you love to do and help, visit old age homes, orphanage. This will give you a new vision in your life.

    Do not watch TV or indulge yourself in sexual contents that frustrates you more.

    So buddy! Pray to God and start enjoying yourself... ENJOY your LONELINESS... That was my motto when I am alone.

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