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homeworkgirl · Nov 23, 2008, 07:52 PM

I am concerned about future. I don't believe good things could last long, like a good job, compliments from others, and a good boyfriend. I am afraid my future would be miserable.
Last week I was very upset because I lost my part time job on campus. When I called the person I like, I cried to him. But all the sadness suddenly disappeared when he told me that he likes me in the end. I feel love is the most important thing in my life. But I don't know how long I could be this happy because of him. I always have feelings that I will lose him someday. I feel like I will be very sad on that day. He and I are in a distance relationship. I look forward to seeing him, but I am afraid of seeing him also. I fear that someday he will not like me. I wish I could die when I am being loved by him, so I won't get hurt later. But the only thing I am worried is my family. They would be very sad if I left them.
I hope I could get some help here.

xxariesxx · Nov 23, 2008, 08:40 PM

You are definitely doing a lot of focusing on the future. Sometimes that is healthy and productive, but in this case it is counterproductive and harmful. You are defending your emotions by thinking about the future so that if something bad does happen, the "blow" will not be as bad.

Whenever you start to have unpleasant thoughts about the future, try to remember the present. Push those thoughts away and think, "Ok.. what is going on NOW?"
Bad things do happen, but you cannot live your life being afraid. Even when negative things affect us, we move on from them. People have survived and found happiness even through the most awful situations.

It would really benefit you to see a counselor who can give you a helpful perspective and more ideas about how to have less anxiety about the future and focus more on the present

Fr_Chuck · Nov 23, 2008, 09:04 PM

You can not have anything without a risk. If you don't allow yourself to be open toothers, you will never have no one. If you don't risk on a job, you can't be fired ( or promoted)

In today's economy 1000's are losing their jobs. Good people for no reason except the economy, if you worry too much you can make things happen, a boyfriend is not wanting to hear you constantly talking about being worried.

So at your age, yes, you are very likely to date, break up, hurt, and date again, several times before you find the right one.

You may work a dozen jobs before you find the right one.

Or you may get hit by a piece of space junk falling to earth and none of it matters,

The fact is all we can do is live each day like it is our last and do the best we can.

If worry is hurting your live your daily life, get professional help.

Choux · Nov 24, 2008, 04:28 PM

Don't talk yourself into having emotional illness, girl. YOu are in the process of growing up right now... learn from your experiences and get *strong*.

Note: Live just one day at a time and don't look for trouble in the future. If you look for trouble, you will find it. Make sure you have a well-rounded life and get a good education. NO one can take your education away from you. :)

talaniman · Nov 26, 2008, 12:08 PM

Just be happy today, and deal with tomorrow when it gets here.

Fixer12 · Dec 2, 2008, 10:05 AM

Everything does happen for a reason. You need to understand this.

The problem is, we can't focus on what is happening tomorrow... it isn't here yet. And we certainly can't focus on yesterday, because it already happened. All we have is today! All we have is now! Yes, something bad is going to happen in your life, it's just how it works, but you don't have to sit around and wait for it!
Being in distance relationships, is very hard, and takes a lot of dedication, but the fact that you are now able to do it, shows a lot about your character and the person you are with!
Don't get yourself to far down there! It's a long climb back up. Worrying is good in small doses. It protects us, and keeps us on our toes.
"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere!"

homeworkgirl · Dec 2, 2008, 03:51 PM

Hi, you guys are so nice. Thanks.