My boyfriend has severe emotional issues
Asked Feb 1, 2010, 11:59 PM
So the situation is extremely complicated but I will try to sum up as much as I can. Essentially I just want advice on the situation from and outside, unbiased source.
I am currently living with my boyfriend and love him very much. Over the course of our relationship there have been a few bumps along the way mostly concerning him being truthful and also with his mood swings (he is bipolar). There have been a few instances where I have come across things that were highly inappropriate (i.e. him soliciting sex from people online.). Each time I have discovered these things I confront him, and he typically apologizes and tries to explain himself to me.
After the first time, I forgave him and tried my best to trust him again. Then again I found that he was doing it again. He tells me he has never actually cheated on me and while I'm not sure if I believe that, I am trying to.
With each new incident, he reveals more about his intentions behind what he is doing. He had a rough history and as a consequence he engages in a lot of self destructive behaviors. What brings me here is just today I found out about another thing that nearly had me leaving. After confronting him, he nearly broke down and told me a great number of things about himself that he is ashamed of.
I don't want to leave me boyfriend and I love him very much but I don't know how to help him or if I even can. He is struggling with his bipolar disorder and I also think he is extremely depressed. He talks about how unhappy he is with his life and how he thinks of himself as worthless. When I suggest therapy he says he doesn't want to go and doesn't think it will help. I struggle even more so because half the time he is pushing me out the door and then he'll come talk to me the next day and apologize for his erratic behavior. He says he loves me, that I deserve better etc. and he wouldn't blame me for leaving. The thing is I have no interest in leaving, my first instinct, sadly, is to forgive him and to try and fix whatever is wrong with him. I want to help him be functional
Sorry for the length and vagueness about the incidents we've had, I tried to keep it as short as possible as well as respect his privacy regarding his actions. Any constructive advice will be much appreciated.