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    akelawolf's Avatar
    akelawolf Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 7, 2019, 06:15 AM
    Attached to mom
    I am 19, my father died 2 years ago, it was a great loss for me and the biggest trauma, after that I become very attached to my mum, every time she goes out for the shopping or city center , I am very very nervous and anxious, my hands start to get cold and shake, my heart beats fast, I think that something bad is going to happen to her, I cannot get this thoughts out of my head. So I avoid to let her go out shopping without me.. what kind of psychological condition is it? I donít know if anyone had the same situation but I think I am the only one and I am going mad. Please tell me if you had the same problem and how did you overcome.. Please tell me what can I do.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Feb 7, 2019, 06:30 AM
    I cannot diagnose what you are experiencing, but I do think you are feeding it to a higher scale than it need be. Not unusual to be so attached to a surviving parent, happens to us all, and is part of a natural healing process, but I suspect you are also very isolated in your social and personal interactions with others. Are my suspicions correct, or am I way off base? How is your mom coping and do you have siblings or other family members around like aunts, uncles, or grandparents?

    Do you or your mom work? What kinds of activities do you do daily?
    akelawolf's Avatar
    akelawolf Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 7, 2019, 08:27 AM
    You might be right, I am isolated a little bit, I have a few friends but I don't manage to see them very often, right now I am studying at the University and working in a school, and but it is a part -time job. My mom doesn't work right now, but when she worked I felt almost the same way. I don't have any siblings or grandparents. I only have an aunt which lives far away.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,809, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Feb 7, 2019, 09:46 AM
    It's a mix of complicated grief and separation anxiety:

    "What Is Complicated Grief?
    Complicated grief, also known as traumatic grief or prolonged grief disorder, can occur after the death of a very close loved one. Research suggests that it affects between 10 to 20 percent of bereaved people, and it is associated with a negative impact on physical and mental health."

    "What Is Separation Anxiety Disorder?

    Separation anxiety disorder is usually considered something seen only in children. But research shows that people can experience SEPAD over their lifespan, and it can even begin in adulthood in some cases. People who have SEPAD report intense and impairing anxiety about actual or imagined separations with their loved ones or home environment, leading to a need to maintain physical proximity." (All of the above quoted info is from anxiety.org)

    No, this is not unusual. But you need to talk with someone about this. Is counseling available at your university? May I ask, what country are you in?

    Grief can be a very disabling emotion. Almost a year ago, my younger son died very unexpectedly and suddenly of a blood clot that had traveled to a lung. I am still going through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining with God, depression, and I doubt I will ever get to the final stage of acceptance. I totally understand what you are experiencing regarding grief. Please check out your school's counseling office. And PLEASE stay in touch!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Feb 7, 2019, 04:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    No, this is not unusual... But you need to talk with someone about this. Is counseling available at your university? May I ask, what country are you in? Please check out your school's counseling office. And PLEASE stay in touch!
    You took the words right out of my mouth WG. That you came here was a positive step that you are ready to unburden yourself. Have you shared your feelings with your mom? What does she say?

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