My aunt is 89 and acting up in her condo--told the desk clerk her great-grandchild had been kidnapped. She lives with her daughter and there's a love/hate relationship. She doesn't want an aide to sit with her while her daughter is at work, nor does she want to go to a home. How can we convince her she needs one or both? Will a residential senior home even take her? Thanks.

Convincing an elder person is a strain.
Old people become so stuburn and hard headed that nothings gets through there head. They end up stuck in their own ways.

Is she capable of living alone?

If she is, you can't really force her to move in to a residential senior home but you could probably try and subtly introduce her to someone to aide her while her daughter is at home.

Thanks for your response. I agree; it's very difficult to talk "sense" to an elderly person who's set in her ways.

You're welcome.

Sometimes withoutt realising they become so set in their ways that they become selfish.

Ive had my fair share dealing with very elderly old relatives.
My dads uncle was actually 89 too and would NOT go to a elderly home, he even lived alone. We couldn't force him till one day he collapsed and his alziemers got drastically worse.

It sounds as if your aunt is getting alziemers or quite senile to tell the desk clerk that story. Yes, there are nursing homes that will take anyone. You have to check around as all homes have a certain level of care they are qualified for. Some homes have sections for all level of care. Often times there is no convincing the elderly of anything, to protect them, you have to make the decisions for them. She will be angry, but living with her daughter, her daughter has every right to make some decisions. If she feels someone should be with her in the day or at least check in on her a few times while she is at work, she should do it.
I worked in counseling at a home health care business and situations become quite bad. The caretaker has to make some decisions that can be upsetting, but the caretaker has got to have some help and not feel guilty.

You can also in-directly get her tested for senile dementia.
That way you can definitley see if she is capable of living alone.

We did that on my nan, who also wouldn't leave her home, but when the doctor tested her (she didn't even know he was testing her mind as all he does is ask questions such as:- what year is it etc).

Do you know if she is being seen regularly by a doctor or is on any medication? From my experience with elderly relatives and friends a "hidden" medical condition or medication side effect can manifest itself in the form of dementia.

Depending on where she is located there may be all sorts of senior housing options ranging from apartments with limited medical support to assisted living to full nursing home level. Some offer a continuum of care where you move into an apartment the to assisted living and then if necessary a nursing home, alli the same complex.

Is there a council on aging or aging office that could assist with options and perhaps help in having her checked out by an MD or a mental health professional.