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    Cherry Tree's Avatar
    Cherry Tree Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 1, 2005, 02:19 PM
    Erection Problem - lady needs male advice please
    My boyfriend (been together a year) cannot get a proper erection, its always quite soft, and although we still "do it" its very unsatisfying for me. I have never commented, for fear of hurting his feelings as he himself is upset about it, i can tell, but he's never said anything either.I would like him to get medical help, for both our benefit. How can I approach this without hurting him?
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #2

    Nov 1, 2005, 03:12 PM
    First things first

    1. How old are you and he?
    2. Is he taking any type of medication for blood pressure, diabetes, beta blockers, etc?
    3. If you cannot talk about sex with him, why? How can two people enjoy each other if they don't talk about their likes or dislikes? Do you just 'go to it' and not say if you like it here, there or not?
    The relationship is a year old and you should be enjoying yourself, if not, tell him that something has to change, if he does not agree, then you've got the choice of putting up with him or not.
    If this is a thing that's been going on since the beginning, then he's got a problem, or you do or else you would not be with him so long. Are you worried that there is not someone else or someone better, or just someone at all if you choose to dump him?
    If the relationship is based on more than just the bed, then you should not be shy in speaking of the most natural thing between two people. Please see if he is taking any new medications or ones mentioned above, as they can change a man's libido, and the doctor should have told him about these before prescribing them.

    Please get back with us and let us know a little more, don't be shy - because a relationship can last a long time, and you don't want to be miserable forever...


    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
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    #3

    Nov 2, 2005, 06:43 AM
    Not Hard
    Hi,
    Your boyfriend can be helped by a doctor.
    You could approach him with the idea of seeing a doctor, tell him you will go with him for support.
    You might say something like:
    Honey, for your own peace of mind, and my own, to stop worrying about this, let's go see a doctor. Make an appointment for him, if it's OK with him.
    He will feel better about himself, if he goes to a doctor. Getting Professional opinion on how to solve this would really help both of you.
    If worse comes to worse, and he doesn't want to go, you could also say something like, "To be honest, I am not having that much fun when we have sex; because I cannot have a climax". "You have to help me by helping yourself".
    That will get across the point to him that something has to be done... now.
    Cherry Tree's Avatar
    Cherry Tree Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 2, 2005, 10:52 AM
    Thanks for advice. He is nearly 50, I'm 40. This problem has become gradually worse over the year. He is a wonderful, lovely person who makes me happy physically, without penetration. Its just this particular thing that's the only problem.he's not short of libido at all, quite the opposite! He's not on any medication. Could it just be his age?
    dimples's Avatar
    dimples Posts: 256, Reputation: 9
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    #5

    Nov 2, 2005, 11:18 AM
    I suggest you try letting him take Vitamin B complex. It helps in some cases. If not, see a doctor.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #6

    Nov 2, 2005, 08:19 PM
    http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_se...en/article.htm

    His age could be a factor here, so check out this site and see if there is something close to his problems that you can show him - off a medical site and not a viagra advertisement. He can talk about this with his doctor and get help. But it could also be a prostate problem and he needs his yearly checkups, which most men don't like doing.
    It does not mean older men are not willing but need a little help. Good Luck.
    ;)
    Cherry Tree's Avatar
    Cherry Tree Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 3, 2005, 04:29 AM
    Thanks I'll try that. X
    drali77's Avatar
    drali77 Posts: 127, Reputation: 5
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    #8

    Nov 4, 2005, 02:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Chery
    http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_se...en/article.htm

    His age could be a factor here, so check out this site and see if there is something close to his problems that you can show him - off of a medical site and not a viagra advertisement. He can talk about this with his doctor and get help. But it could also be a prostate problem and he needs his yearly checkups, which most men don't like doing.
    It does not mean older men are not willing but need a little help. Good Luck.
    ;)
    Thanks for the link I really like that and I like your attitude of helping people

    I am sending a link it might help people more of having the Erectile Dysfunction

    http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic3023.htm
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #9

    Nov 4, 2005, 02:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by drali77
    thanks for the link i really like that and i like your attitude of helping people

    i am sending a link it might help people more of having the Erectile Dysfunction

    http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic3023.htm
    Thank you for the compliment, I love to learn and also help people.
    I've already added this link from one of your previous posts to my 'favorites'. It is very descriptive and professional, and since I have medical background, it's easy to understand. Sometimes, though, I like 'painting' a better picture for those who are not as familiar with medical terminology - as some of it, if taken wrong or not understood, can frighten more than help. As the saying goes: "sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it" - that's sometimes my motto.

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