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    Olivia100's Avatar
    Olivia100 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:34 PM
    Problems with arousal
    Cannot get sexually aroused. I'm 20 years old and have only been sexually active for a year or so. When I was with my ex at the time when we started having sex I couldn't get aroused and even before I was with him I couldn't get aroused by myself and I still can't. I've tried arousing gels, setting the mood but can't seem to feel sexual. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I don't lubricate or anything.. I feel so insecure and that I can't be with anyone if I can't get aroused because I know sex is a big part of relationships.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:43 PM
    Step 1 is to speak to a gynecologist, a good one, someone you like and trust and can discuss this with. It could (and possibly is) hormonal, but without an exam, without some tests, that's just a guess.

    Do you know where to go for a referral to a good gyno?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:43 PM
    Women can pretend, of course...
    As for reasons?
    - emotional problems early in life
    - not heterosexual, if trying to have sex with a man
    - hormone imbalance
    - no fantasies, not enough of the right stimulation, not really knowing what you might like (maybe deep down you can only get turned on in an airplane bathroom or pretending you are a dominatrix or a pre-teen or... Angelina Jolie?

    Not trying to be funny, just wondering if any of the above sound like possibilities, not just the fantasies.
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