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Confused3 · Mar 25, 2007, 12:28 AM

So I've had this friend I've been seeing on and off for the past 5 years. We landed up having a beautiful boy together. But the initial problem is it is always inconvient for the 2 of us to make anything official. In the beginnin I didn't realize he was with someone and now I no he's with someone new. But everyone around us tryes to iniciate things between us saying we should be together... in the same room same bed yadda yadda yadda. I realize he has a girlfriend but the chemistry between us is as if no one else is around. The long glaces are there and absolutely everything else you could possibly think of. And I mean we can all hang out in a group him, his girlfriend and all of our friends. She's jealous when we are together but wants to hang out in groups. I don't want to be the other woman but it is like one of the couples that are meant to be together and haven't fully had the chance. Is this something that could be more between me and him or am I just chopped liver?

~CONFUSED

talaniman · Mar 25, 2007, 07:47 AM

You are chopped liver, because despite what you say that the two of you are so good together he chooses not to be exclusive with you. Even with his child, he chooses to go elswhere and see you when he wants. The fact you accept this behaviour from him, lets him know that he can do whatever he pleases, with whomever he pleases. Until you take off the blinders and see him for what he is you will be his chopped liver, as you put it.

Parajr · Mar 25, 2007, 07:53 AM

You may be chopped liver. Having a child together should have put you together if you were meant to be together.

shygrneyzs · Mar 25, 2007, 08:02 AM

You are allowing him to treat you like chopped liver. You are allowing him to come and go just as he pleases and when he pleases. Why should he change his behavior when he can "have it all" now?

Set some boundaries, some very strict boundaries as to what you will accept and not accept from him. No bedroom. No long glances, no sparks of chemistry. What you have with him is not love - it is lust, it is sex, it is chemistry, it is many things, but not the love that you are looking for.

Tell him he is welcome for the sake of your child but that is it. And mean it. If you continue as you are with this guy, it will ALWAYS be inconvenient for you two to "be official". That is the honest truth.