As someone who works with people at the supposed college level, I can totally relate to this frustration.
In fact, this is a fabulous example of why people here should not just be providing answers for people. I will point to this post from now on when someone doesn't get why I'm so adament about not just giving answers away - no one learns from it. (Or the next time someone asks why they need to take accounting since it's all done on the computer anyway. Sigh.)
Fr_Chuck is very right about the schools. It's going to bruise someone's little ego if they flunk a test. If they didn't study or do the work, then maybe their ego needs a little bruising. If they worked hard, only treating them like an idiot bruises them -- support that they did their best and trying to help them will help their ego. Ignoring that they need help isn't going to improve anything - they will just continue doing badly.
People come to college and can't multiply by 10 in their head (or multiply 7 x 3 - sheesh!)
When I'm working I try to force people to think through things for themselves, and I try to get them to understand why something they did doesn't make sense. Some people appreciate it. Some think I'm rude cause I expect them to use their brains. Too many people don't make them think. Their parents could help this process, but they don't care. I had a student get mad at me earlier today cause I actually tried to get a her to think about something -- thinking seems to be forbidden these days.
I think Panther Forest has a good idea. If the schools and parents aren't doing their jobs, you can help. People usually relate to money pretty well. Not being able to multiply 7 x 3 in your head is pretty sad - that's worse than what even I've seen. Making it fun will help. If shopping doesn't work, try to relate it to something she does like. Someone has to force her to use her head -- I hope you can accomplish this. Also keep in mind that most people are visual learners, so draw pictures or use real items. Nothing wrong with reverting back to apples and oranges.
You can try talking to the parents, but that's getting into dangerous territory. Parents can complain to schools, but the parents have to care first. Since you're paying taxes, you can complain to the schools as well. (If I pay property tax that's going towards schools, I have a right to care about what that school is producing into my society.) Maybe find other people who feel like you do and bombard the board of education. And Congress while you're at it. (Schools are only making things worse. And too much emphasis on testing instead of learning. Nothing wrong with tests, but try teaching it first!)
Sorry for the rant, but I get tired of teaching college students 2nd grade math. I'm perfectly happy to teach it to 2nd graders, but not college students. But it's always nice to see a post that proves my point as well. ;)
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