I recently discovered that when my wife (of twelve years) and her adult daughter go with my visiting mother-in-law or a visiting friend, it was not really just "a girl's" Sunday brunch;" I was excluded because my daughter-in-law, who lives nearby but has always avoided me, told her mother (my wife), that if I come to brunch, she won't come. When I found out that my wife was leaving me at home for that reason, I let her know how I thought that was. We have discussed the matter a few times; I joined her for a session with her (former) therapist, who agreed with me.

Despite that, my wife has not changed her mind, claiming in different conversations (and I quote)

1. You are keeping me from spending time with my daughter.
2. If I have I choose between my daughter and you, I will choose her.
3. If I had known about this (my attitude!) before I married you, I would not have married you.

I have suggested joint counselliing on this several times, and suggested that she could pick the therapist. She agreed two weeks ago, but has not followed up.

Other than this BIG problem, we have a good marriage, and I would like to solve this problem. I am not a stubborn or uncompromising person, but I do have a strong believe that one's spouse should come first, and not be left at home at the insistence of a young lady who is, by her mother's admission, a very difficult person.

I welcome suggestions and comments.