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katieinwaiting · Apr 10, 2011, 07:25 PM

I am a 33 year old woman, with one daughter who is 6. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. Our relationship has been great! He has no children of his own and treats my daughter like his own. For the last couple years I have been talking to him about marriage. I am in no rush per say to actually get married, but to make the big commitment of getting engaged would be nice. He always changes the subject, or gives lame excuses as to why he doesn't want to buy me a ring. So every Christmas, Valentine's Day, and now another Birthday have all came and gone and no hint at a ring. I am frankly getting quite discouraged. I would like another child and I know he does too. What could possibly be the problem? I don't get it! He says he loves me and that is all that should matter. Well I am sorry but if he knows how much this means to me, then why doesn't he get me a ring if he loves me?

cdad · Apr 10, 2011, 07:32 PM

You missed your chance on Feb the 13th. But there is next year (Sadie Hawkins Day).

When you discuss the subject with him have you asked him what his concerns or expectations are? Some believe that being married ruins the relationship. The other side of it could be that he is established and feels its going to be taken away if something should happen. Fear is a great motivator.

Don't prod him but encourage him to express what his expectations are and how he thinks it may be different.

katieinwaiting · Apr 10, 2011, 07:36 PM

We have had numerous talks about the subject. He has gone so far as to say where he would like us to get married, reception details, etc. This is why I am so utterly confused. We are already practically married now, why not make it official? Even just engaged!

Wondergirl · Apr 10, 2011, 07:45 PM

I understand your frustration, but think of it this way: What is he losing out on if he doesn't marry you?

JudyKayTee · Apr 12, 2011, 06:35 PM

He doesn't propose marriage to you because he doesn't want to marry you.

Ask him why. You're in a fairly lengthy relationship and you may very well be wasting your time. You're having sex with him. Ask him.

talaniman · Apr 12, 2011, 08:10 PM

Like most guys he is in a great comfort zone and is afraid that any changes will screw it up!!

You want a ring? TELL HIM TO GET YOU ONE, and stop depending on his "love" to make him get one!

YOU want to get married, PROPOSE to him, and work to set a date!! My gosh, you have been together long enough to know he won't do anything without you pushing him to!!

Bet you have to tell him to take out the garbage too!! Well the freakin' garbage is the last thing on my mind in the grand scheme of things, I mean HIS mind. OOOPS!!

J_9 · Apr 12, 2011, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Like most guys he is in a great comfort zone and is afraid that any changes will screw it up!!!

Turn it around to day... Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free!