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goodbyej · Feb 12, 2010, 11:13 PM

I am my husband's second wife. He has two grown kids in their 30's. They are very jealous that he married me and will not talk to him. The daughter is very controlling and the ex is the main problem. She always calls or text him just to talk about the grown kids. I ask him to quit talking to her. He said he would. But he does it behind my back. He has no reason to talk to her. The kids are adults!! They have talked for 8 years. She will leave him text telling him that he will always be dear to her heart and wishes him happy birthday before I do. They are always trying to break us up but it seems like he is controlled by them. We are now getting a divorce. It's all them against me. He lies and denies talking to his ex. Now we still live together till divorce is final. He acts like he never knew me. What is going on with him all these years. I never even felt married with them always between us.

jaime90 · Feb 13, 2010, 01:59 PM

What is going on is you clearly didn't take a look at this situation before you went to the alter with this guy.

I highly doubt this man JUST started talking with his ex-wife. And I doubt it just became a problem.

If it was a problem while you were dating, it should've been discussed then. And now, because you and your husband couldn't have open communication, and develop healthy habits while you were dating, you're looking at a divorce.

I'm wondering why in the world you would've even considered marrying a man who clearly isn't over his ex, in the first place.

Gemini54 · Feb 14, 2010, 12:48 AM

Who knows why people do things?

I'm sorry to hear that you're divorcing, but sometimes we can't do anything about people's affections and where they feel their loyalties lie.

Your husband has clearly not severed ties with his Ex and allows her to manipulate him through the children. This is his choice and he's chosen them over you.

Perhaps you're better off without them all and this will be a blessing in disguise.

Devorameira · Feb 14, 2010, 09:22 AM

I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I can't understand why grown kids play the non-acceptance game. I know it's really quite common, but it's still not right. I'm sure it's been hard on him having his own kids not talking to him.

I'd say he's never gotten over the ex and with the kids not talking to him for being married to you, it has pushed him back further in her direction. There's really nothing you can do to fix this. I know you don't want to hear it, but I think you definitely are better off without him. You need a man that loves you and will always be playing in your court.